Call *that* stupid?

[Mad Doug Biker]

I followed my gonads when I was younger, rather than my head.

They could walk by themselves??

 

[Fnaar]

They could walk by themselves??

Well, more like hopping. With the occasional spacehopper-like bounce.

 

[Lisa21]

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

I once ate bacon without cooking it, believing that it was some sort of Parma Ham.

It was actually quite nice too!

 

[compo]

Talking about Darwin contenders....

I have to feed a brake cable through the frame of an MTB I am doing up. I haven't got round to doing it yet as other jobs came first. I have been trying to think the best way to do it. I looked back on CC and saw a method where you leave the outer in situ, slide through the inner, remove the old outer then slide a new outer over the cable. For a good half an hour I decided it wouldn't work for me because my new cable had nipples at both ends.

I really am getting old and maybe a bit senile!

It wasn't so stupid. I was using an assembled cable, inner and outer and the nipple on the end I needed to cut off made a perfect stop for a length of string that I initially pulled through with the old cable, then just pull the new one through, cut off the nipple, connect it to the brakes, job's a good'un.

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

At Crufts one year, I was walking about looking at the different stands and came across one with a plate of biscuits on. Thinking they were freebies, I picked one up and ate it, only to realise that it tasted decidedly odd.

Turns out they were dog biscuits!

 

[machew]

At Crufts one year, I was walking about looking at the different stands and came across one with a plate of biscuits on. Thinking they were freebies, I picked one up and ate it, only to realise that it tasted decidedly odd.

Turns out they were dog biscuits!

Did they taste better than a Pot Noddle?

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

Did they taste better than a Pot Noddle?

Hmmmm, that's debatable actually!

 

[Pat "5mph"]

I once ate bacon without cooking it, believing that it was some sort of Parma Ham.

It was actually quite nice too!

You made that up!

 

[vernon]

I once ate bacon without cooking it, believing that it was some sort of Parma Ham.

It was actually quite nice too!

You made that up!

Totally believable. I did exactly the same but I was drunk when I did it and complained about the chewiness of the 'smoked ham' to my mother the next morning.

Another drunken faux pas was complaining about the crunchiness of the prawns that I'd bought and tried to eat while drunk only to be told I shouldn't be eating the heads and shelling the tails wouldn't be a bad idea either.

 

[Pat "5mph"]

He, he: it crossed my mind that MDB was drunk while confusing bacon for parma ham, but was to polite to say it

 

[compo]

I'm pissed. That may be stupid but I don't care.

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

Unfortunately I wasn't. It was in one of these ready made things, except I didn't realise I had to actually cook it! (so not very ready made, I know).

 

[Nihal]

Caution:-The following material is rated PG and is strictly not for ladies.However if you do read this,please do not,I repeat,do not die of shock or laughter.Copying the actions performed in this material will lead to serious injuries.These stupid incidents were enacted unknowingly by a stupid and inexperieced kid(not that you need to be a professional)

Okay so this happened when i was 4.We were in a hurry to go somewhere and we were almost leaving when got the urge to pee.I did not have good control over myself,but then i was four.So everything went alright and i went to the restroom and peeed.However as we were in a hurry,i yanked my Zipper up aa.... a bit too fast maybe.Anyways,by some weird circumstances,my p**** came in contact with my zipper and got jammed!I could neither move my zipper up nor down(obviously without hurting my self).So i went into a panic.After two minutes of performing this top secret operation which i can promise you would have been much more demeaning than Afghanistan,I managed to seperate them WITHOUT any injury.I came out flushing hotly and sweating badly and i distinctly remember either my mom or my dad(i don't know which)asking whether i had gone to pee or run a marathon.


Moving on to a less embarassing incident,This happened when i was 6.I was alone at home and had noyhing to do and was feeling bored(extremly).At that age i'm sure everyone was a fan of Tom and Jerry.I was extremly foolish a t that time(in my defence i was 6)So i remembered the episode in which jerry pumps air into tom making him float in the air.So i got my pump(i was a fan of flying,Still am but not is these ways)put the end to my mouth and started.The gas tasted distinctly like sodaand i continued.Well a i can say is my boredom wwas entirely gone after a few minutes because i spent the next hour shuttling between my bed and the bathroom introducinng to the basin everything i had eaten since morning.


NOTE:- These incidents have so far been the only embarassing incident to occur in my life so far.I'm happy to say i'm not that foolish anymore and never will be.

 

[Nihal]

Vernon, I love your stories of derring-don't, you are a legend. I can't find your burning ping-pong story though... would love to read that again.

[edit: found it http://www.cyclechat.net/threads/another-moment-of-madness-chez-vernon.40457/
]

I think that Vernon should publish a book called"Dadly Disasters"

GEt it,get it "Dadly" ..............oh never mind.I'm sure you people like reading those book where a stupid girl stupidly falls in love with a stupid vampire and a stupid werewolve.They should add stupid elves,stupid trolls and other stupid magical creatures so stupid people like me can stupidly laugh at the stupidity of the author.



Don't stupidly bother,I'll ask my stupid self to find the stupid way to the stupid door.
And i'm still wondering if i stupidly spelt the stupid spelling of"stupid"very stupidly incorrectly.
(i'm feeling a bit stupid today so forgive me and Vernon is an awesome writer)