Fnaar
Smutmaster General
- Location
- Thumberland
Well, @betty swollocks punched a pheasant
(for some reason, I always found that thread title amusing!!)
(for some reason, I always found that thread title amusing!!)
Chap who Punched a Police Horse
- Thread starter Boris Bajic
- Start date
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- Location
- The TerrorVortex
It's easy to be startled by an unexpected horse.
They're really inconspicuous, especially when hidden by a load of horses...
They're really inconspicuous, especially when hidden by a load of horses...
Cycleops
Legendary Member
- Location
- Accra, Ghana
That's what I love about the judicial system in the UK. You can come up with the most ridiculous of excuses for something but in the end you just dig yourself a larger and larger hole. The judge or jury will see them for what they are, so you won't get away with it.
Saluki
World class procrastinator
- Location
- ...Norwich over the water.
I had a retired police horse as a companion hack. He bit!! We had some numpty rush up to us yelling about 'posh tarts on 'orses' or something similar and Berty whipped his head round and took a chunk out of the bloke. Bloke screamed like a girl and ran away. I was impressed.
Prison is the right thing IMO for the horse hitting lout. Maybe he was hitting because a horse can't hit back - or so he might have believed. I noticed he aimed at the horse and not the police officer on board.
Prison is the right thing IMO for the horse hitting lout. Maybe he was hitting because a horse can't hit back - or so he might have believed. I noticed he aimed at the horse and not the police officer on board.
Mad Doug Biker
Banned from every bar in the Galaxy
- Location
- Craggy Island
The police should really use Zebras. Having had to evolve to defend themselves against lions and so on, they are a lot more violent and have a considerably more potent kick than any domesticated horse.
Zebras can easily be lethal, and whats more, they aim their kicks better than a normal horse by looking between their legs at their target. If you get kicked by a horse, then you know all about it, but if you get kicked by a Zebra, then good luck with getting up and walking away afterwards! (Zebras have been known to kill lions with a kick and have been responsible for the deaths of numerous zookeepers over the years).
That said, you would need Police officers light enough to ride them as they have not been bred for millennia to be ridden like normal horses have.
Zebras can easily be lethal, and whats more, they aim their kicks better than a normal horse by looking between their legs at their target. If you get kicked by a horse, then you know all about it, but if you get kicked by a Zebra, then good luck with getting up and walking away afterwards! (Zebras have been known to kill lions with a kick and have been responsible for the deaths of numerous zookeepers over the years).
That said, you would need Police officers light enough to ride them as they have not been bred for millennia to be ridden like normal horses have.
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OP
OP
Boris Bajic
Guest
The police should really use Zebras. Having had to evolve to defend themselves against lions and so on, they are a lot more violent and have a considerably more potent kick than any domesticated horse.
Zebras can easily be lethal, and whats more, they aim their kicks better than a normal horse by looking between their legs at their target. If you get kicked by a horse, then you know all about it, but if you get kicked by a Zebra, then good luck with getting up and walking away afterwards! (Zebras have been known to kill lions with a kick and have been responsible for the deaths of numerous zookeepers over the years).
That said, you would need Police officers light enough to ride them as they have not been bred for millennia to be ridden like normal horses have.
Just about the only thing I remember from many years reading the Notes & Queries section in the Guardian is that zebras cannot safely be ridden.
It may have had something to do with weak ankles. As was the way with Notes & Queries, the discussion went on for some time. There was a photo of someone riding a zebra, but it looked staged.
We could cut out the middle man and just put the cooppers on the lions. Or just get Roman and release lions into rioting crowds.
Or... we could build an amphitheatre and send rioters and people we don't like the look of out against wild beasts or against each other.
I think I'd look good in a toga. Others might diagree.
slowmotion
Quite dreadful
- Location
- lost somewhere
I know not from which far flung corner of the Roman Empire you may hail from, , but I grant you a toga.
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Puddles
Do I need to get the spray plaster out?
- Location
- Hamble, Southampton
Emu's they should ride emu's they are really big buggers and can be vicious wotsits too!
I read and heard from a witness of a truly horrible attack on a police horse many years ago. There was a World-Cup qualifier between Scotland and Wales that for some reason had to be played at a neutral stadium (I think it was to do with the closure of the home-team's ground due to football violence so fashionable at the time). The game was played at Anfield, Liverpool and a Scotsman took offence to being corralled by a police horse so he smashed the bottle he was drinking from and did something very disgusting (which I won't go in to) with the bottle on the horse. It was widely reported at the time but I think the bastard who did it got away with it.
![[Philip]](/data/avatars/m/32/32508.jpg?1380211787){kind=avatar}
slowmotion
Quite dreadful
- Location
- lost somewhere
Horses are spectacularly stupid. He probably didn't notice.
As John Harvey Jones said.." You can ride a horse off a cliff...you can't do that on a donkey"
As John Harvey Jones said.." You can ride a horse off a cliff...you can't do that on a donkey"
betty swollocks
large member
....and I still live with the shame of it.
Saluki
World class procrastinator
- Location
- ...Norwich over the water.
I have to disagree with that.
Horses are quite bright, they learn very fast. I used to teach people to ride horses, in my younger days. I was a qualified riding instructor and found that most people that I taught were not quite as clever as the horse that they were riding.
John Harvey Jones might have been a great businessman (left a pittance in his will though) but was he a horseman? I am pretty sure that my horses wouldn't be ridden off a cliff. They would slam their brakes on ensuring that I still went in the direction that I was trying to get them to go in.
