I punched a pheasant.

[betty swollocks]

Hurtling down my favourite downhill yesterday morning on my Guv'nor, I spooked a pheasant, which was doing what pheasants do (whatever that is) hidden in a grass verge. Anyway, as I passed, it launched itself with a flurry of wings and vast amounts of squawking straight at me. Heading straight for my face, I punched it out of the way and carried on: I don't normally punch things which get in my way, it was just instinct - which is a bit worrying.
Having had the Guv'nor a few days now, it was the most extreme reaction to my new steed I've experienced so far, or maybe, it occurred to me later, it was objecting me to being clad head to foot in Rapha (apart from the shoes)- many would I do not doubt, but well you have to look the part, don't you?
At the bottom of the hill, I was struck by guilt: what fate had befallen my feathered assailant? Had I just ko'd it, or maybe assisted it to the great nye in the sky? I simply had to find out.
So I turned round and struggled back up the hill breathlessly, but with great style. I surveyed the scene. It was nowhere to be seen. So, I swooped down the hill again and continued with my ride on a sublime spring morning.
When I got home I discovered its revenge: it had shat all down my left leg, as if someone had emptied a yoghurt pot.

 

[Brock]

If I were a pheasant I'd make a point of crapping on your Rapha too.
I like the bike though!

 

[John the Monkey]

Surely a gentleman dispatches the impertinent creature with his service revolver, what?

 

[Andy in Sig]

If you had punched it properly it would have been stunned enough for you to get hold of it and ring its neck thus putting you in a position to enjoy a decent dinner a couple of days later. So I think we can conclude from this that you need to get down the gym and spend some time with a punch bag and you could probably do with adjusting your general attitude to game.

 

[dan_bo]

That bike's lurvely.

Don't worry about the pigeon. It's only your ninja-like reactions kicking in.

 

[Fnaar]

I'm not a pheasant puncher, I'm a pheasant puncher's mate
And I'm only punching pheasants coz the pheasant puncher's late

 

[PaulB]

I punched a pheasant..and I liked it.

 

[Kirstie]

Pah, that's nothing. I once batted an owl*.



*no owls, either living or dead, were harmed in the making of this post

 

[fossyant]

It will be the Rapha mate..... known facts birds don't like Rapha....

"Struggling up the hill breathless.....but in style...." lol !!!! Poseur !!!

 

[Llama]

Nice bike i want one!

 

[Andy in Sig]

Pah, that's nothing. I once batted an owl*.



*no owls, either living or dead, were harmed in the making of this post

Am I right in having a picture of a cricket match being played on a lazy summer evening and you were just lashing one in the direction of the scoreboard when an unlucky barn owl passed by?

 

[Kirstie]

Am I right in having a picture of a cricket match being played on a lazy summer evening and you were just lashing one in the direction of the scoreboard when an unlucky barn owl passed by?

Kinda

 

[Danny]

Veering OT...someone I work with is notorious for missing important meetings and coming up with unlikely excuses.

Most recent was that he hit a pheasant on route which had shattered his windscreen.

 

[Kirstie]

Veering OT...someone I work with is notorious for missing important meetings and coming up with unlikely excuses.

Most recent was that he hit a pheasant on route which had shattered his windscreen.

Lummy! How big was it?

 

[tyred]

Most recent was that he hit a pheasant on route which had shattered his windscreen.

That genuinely did happen years ago on my school bus.