cheer me up please it's monday

Discussion in 'CycleChat Cafe' started by WindyRob, 1 Oct 2007.

  1. The weather is dreary and I’m working too far from home to commute, and haven't been on my bike for over a week now... if there are others feeling the same way maybe this will bring a smile to your face.

    This guy falls in love with a girl called Wendy so decides to have her name tattooed on his person. After much thought he decides that he would like it done on his manhood. He goes through a very painful procedure and is initially dismayed to see only the letters W D Y. He asks the Tattoo artist what was going on, he told him to go home and get his girlfriend to stroke him. He does this and sure enough he sees her name appear - Wendy.

    Some time later he is standing in a public WC using the urinals and can't help but glance at the Afro-Caribbean gentleman standing next to him, and he notices W D Y also tattooed on his member. He grins at the gentleman and points at his tattoo and says "look Wendy". The Afro-Caribbean turns to him and "Na Man, Welcome to Jamaica Have a Nice Day."

  2. Bigtallfatbloke

    Bigtallfatbloke New Member

    :biggrin:Ha! ...your day can only get better after a joke like that;);)
  3. Having the most un productive Monday ever. I wish it was Friday ;)
  4. Brock

    Brock Senior Member

    Monday's nearly finished thankfully, a particularly wet commute home put the icing on the cake. What a miserable grotty day. I agree Kirstie, roll on Friday.
  5. alecstilleyedye

    alecstilleyedye nothing in moderation Moderator

    came home to find out that it's just tomato soup for tea ;)
  6. Brock

    Brock Senior Member

    My sympathies, you win the 'Had the worst Monday challenge trophy'. I'd go out for a curry to celebrate after your soup if I were you ;)
  7. graham56

    graham56 Guru

    Sorry folks, but in this corner of the world we`ve had wall to wall sunshine, in fact just losing the sun now.;)
  8. SamNichols

    SamNichols New Member

    Colne, Lancs
    I have no idea what the weather's been like today, as I've been in the library all day (saying that it's been a productive day). Judging by mancunian weather, though, it's probably been raining and windy.
  9. Tetedelacourse

    Tetedelacourse New Member

    It took me over 2 hours to get to work today (normally 40 mins, see commuting thread for details). Then went to dentist this afternoon and gave him £57 to cause me pain where none was before.

    But still feeling grand! Weird, some days good things happen and you just can't get out of the doldrums, other days it's vice versa.

    Here's one for you Windy, along the same vein...

    A surgeon retires, having performed many operations in his career. As he specialised in circumcision, he began to collect the offcuts of his work. As a special retirement present to himself, he hands them to a tanner and asks for a beautiful reminder of his years of work.

    A week later, the tanner invites him to his workshop, where he hands him a wallet. "Is that it?" asks the ex-surgeon, expecting something grander. The tanner replies "well, yes, but if you stroke it it becomes a briefcase."
  10. graham56

    graham56 Guru

  11. killiekosmos

    killiekosmos Über Member

    Unfortunately I can't access the forum from work as IT blocks anything with 'chat' (Can we re-name this forum?)

    An ex-colleague sent me the following.

    Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting.

    Well for example, the other day I went into Hamilton and popped into a shop to collect my dry cleaning.. I swear I was only in there for about two minutes.

    When I came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. I went over to him and said, "Come on man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?"

    He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. So I called him a blue meanie.
    He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tyres.

    So I then called him a heartless moron. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket.

    This went on for about 20 minutes. The more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote. Personally, I didn't care. I came into Hamilton by bus.
  12. ash68

    ash68 New Member

    good one killiekosmos ;):biggrin::biggrin::biggrin:
  13. Elmer Fudd

    Elmer Fudd Miserable Old Bar Steward

    Try :-
  14. mr_hippo

    mr_hippo Living Legend & Old Fart

    True story - Mrs Hippo and I speak English at home, my Thai is limited but I seem to get by. Out cycling and needing something cold to drink, I still had some lukewarm water in my bidons, I fancied a drink of ice cold milk. I stopped at the next 7-11 (convenience store), spoke to the young lady at the counter and said in Thai "Do you have a large bottle of milk?" but it came out as "Do you have large breasts?" She looked at me, then at her chest and said "No, small ones!" with a twinkle in her eye.
    The Thai words for 'breast' and 'milk' are the same, I missed out the word for 'bottle'.
  15. Tetedelacourse

    Tetedelacourse New Member

    Good Hippo, Good!
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