Child support

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ScotiaLass

Guru
Location
Middle Earth
My daughter is 20 this year. She finished her A levels 2 years ago and has been at University for about a year. I have searched the internet and the link TMN posted didnt reveal much.

My understanding is that you have to pay until the children reach the age of 16. If they then wish to carry on and do their A levels you continue to support them. But once the A levels are finished, if they decide to go to Uni instead of getting a job, you can then stop the payments.

I am just trying to get some confirmation of this.

I agree that parents should support their children. But some people can become professional students. There has to be a cut off point.
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midlife

Guru
So legally you are not liable, from a moral stand point.......

Shaun
 
So legally you are not liable, from a moral stand point.......

...you might well want to continue to support your child if you can afford to do so (just as you would have done when they went to university if they had been primarily resident with you or it you and their co-parent had been in a continuing relationship) but probably by giving them money directly, rather than via their other parent?
 
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steveindenmark

steveindenmark

Legendary Member
So legally you are not liable, from a moral stand point.......

Shaun


It is impossible to generalise Shaun. I know guys whos children have been so poisioned against them that they have not been in touch for years. I know another guy who agreed to pay his wife a whacking great amount in her hand if she did not get the CSA involved. He handed over the money and then she got the CSA involved who disregarded his Lump sum payment and made him pay monthly payments.

My circumstances are not straight forward but I am not airing them on here.
 
How much did your child or children have?

In fairness, a non resident parent can't pay money they haven't got to support a child. Those figures - being liable for about 45% of pay - are very different to what you'd expect under the current guidance (unless there were arrears or some other complicating circumstance).

Basic rate
If a non-resident parent earns £200 or more per week, the CSA calculates the amount of maintenance they should pay as a percentage of their net weekly income. For one child, this is 15%, for two children this is 20% and for three or more children it is 25%.
 

steve50

Disenchanted Member
Location
West Yorkshire
How much did your child or children have?
I have absolutely no idea, I was not privvy to that information, what I do know is I am still and will continue to do so for many years paying off so called arrears. The csa gracefully decided that I was two years in arrears to the tune of some £7,000+ due to the length of time it to THEM to sort all the required paperwork and red tape out. I pay the princely sum of £5 per week as I am now a full time foster carer for the local authority and that is the maximum amount they are allowed to take off me. I will probably be pushing up daisies before it is paid off so I have at least got the satisfaction of knowing that. My children are all grown up now , my youngest is 21yrs and the oldest if 30yrs, all settled with their own families.
the figure I quoted was the exact amount the csa was taking from me, it was back 2002 and i didn't have a leg to stand on, they put an attachment of earnings order on my wages, I had no choice. They were unsympathetic when I tried to talk to them, in short they didn't give a sh#t! I still believe this is why the csa headquarters are in Belfast, the government knew they would cause problems and made sure we couldn't just walk into the csa office to complain.
 
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steveindenmark

steveindenmark

Legendary Member
My wife and I made an agreement that we were both happy with and I paid it for about 3 years. She then went to claim something from the state and suddenly the CSA was involved, through no fault of my ex.

I was immediatley in arrears, the money I had paid was discounted as though it never existed and I was in dire straights. Guys committing suicide over the CSA was a regular thing. CSA mail insisting on more money only came on Fridays and you could never get through to them. Unless you lived through it you have no idea of the pressure.

Fortunately for me a good job came along and I took out a loan to pay off all the arrears. The CSA changed the rules and now actively encourage partners to make amicable agreements, as I did in the first place with my ex.

I have always supported my children and they have always got whatever they ask for. But events change. Children grow up and become adulte, their attitudes change and family circumstances change. You can get to a position where you will always love them as your children, but you dont always like what they are becoming as adults.
 

stephec

Legendary Member
Location
Bolton
Does anyone in your answer to this-

If your kids are grown up but the CSA decide you owe £5000 in arrears who gets the money?

The kids, the parent, or do the CSA trouser it?
 
Steveindenmark - I'm guessing this is a few years back? There are some horror stories around, from both paying and receiving parents, but I think it has improved somewhat in the last few years. Your children are adults now, so the way in which you choose to financially support them (or not!) is between you and them both morally and legally!

stephec - the CSA doesn't pay out to a receiving parent unless they have the money off the paying parent so the arrears would be owed from the paying parent to the receiving parent (who has had to support the children regardless in the absence of the non-resident parent's contribution). The arrears should go to the parent with care, I think - who has already paid the costs.

One of the problems with CS that makes it so contentious is that it is often seen as paying money to 'the ex' rather than paying money to support the children. My ex mother-in-common-law once referred to my ex still being able to 'give me my money' when he lost and then subsequently found a job. I was quite forthright in my explanation that it isn't 'mine' even if he pays it to my account - it is his contribution to the significant costs of raising 2 children. Mind, she was horrified when she realised more recently that his decision to become self employed and resultant total lack of income means he has no financial liability for 'em whatsoever!
 

vernon

Harder than Ronnie Pickering
Location
Meanwood, Leeds
I haven't recieved a penny for the last 5 years from my ex. We did everything properly at the devorce, she signed a consent order agreeing to pay a fair amount every week for the two children (who live with me) and I agreed to give here a cash payement for the equity in the house we had together.

A few years later and she quits work and stops the payments. A consent order is not worth the paper it is written on after 12 months. My guess is she will start work again when my children are out of full time education and she doesn't have to pay anything. In the meantime I she just has to live of the 45 thousand pounds I gave her in good faith.

A friend of mine handed over £200,000 of shared equity. Her husband has made two maintainance payments in the past six years, started a non profit making company and hid the money behind business capital.

Some people are daffodils.
 
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