Christmas Day and in laws ?

[Electric_Andy]

It should be give and take with family. I think it's totally fair (given the last 13 years) to fly away and do your own thing. As long as your wife is happy with the arrangement, and as long as you make an effort to involve the in-laws as a compromise i.e. maybe have them round for NYE or something?

My wife is not close to her family and cannot understand why I am close to mine. It always used to cause arguments. The "solution" was that every time we visit, she stays at home so it's just me and the kids and my parents/sister/Gran. It's not ideal but it's the best compromise I could find. There is a fine line between putting your foot down, trying to please everyone, standing your ground and keeping a stress-free household which I think kids deserve. Where those lines fall is up to you!

 

[derrick]

Having to put up with your husband/wifes family is something a person needs to think about before getting married. If your the type of person who really cant be bothered with the in laws then perhaps marriage isnt for you.You dont just have the person you have years of having to listen to and entertain their family as well.You cant just cherry pick the bits you want.

Not all inlaws are nice people. My mother inlaw was a nasty bit of work.

 

[Fab Foodie]

Good call on Monarch, what have you heard about Ryanair?

 

[BrumJim]

Am I the only one on here who loves spending time with the family over Christmas?
Sadly I've lost all my grandparents, all of whom loved to be with the family over Christmas. My Mum is getting older, and slightly more racist by the year, but I guess having grandchildren that she can occupy makes it better. I loved Christmas with my In-laws too, even though Christmas day was a lot more quiet than I am used to, and am sad that poor health restricts our trips to see them.

Christmas has changed now that both me and my sister have young children - for a start it is a lot shorter, and managing excited children has taken over from a lot of silly games, leg pulling and late evenings, but still would not miss it for anything.

 

[derrick]

Christmas is for the kids, once they are of hand it's just another day. It's a great day for a ride, be it on a bike or not.

 

[petek]

Older rellys are only around for so long and once they have gone they're gone.
Surely Christmas should be a time for family get togethers?
That said, if in laws are toxic then avoid them at all costs.

 

[Electric_Andy]

Am I the only one on here who loves spending time with the family over Christmas?

No. We always had really "old fashioned" Christmases. Log fire, chestnuts, all the family around (sometimes 14 at the table), we wouldn't open presents until everyone had eaten lunch so the suspense was almost unbearable. In the afternoon/evening we'd play cards and board games whilst tucking into a tub of quality street. Then at 8 o'clock we'd have cold meats, salad and all the condiments. Great days. The only reason I don't relish going to my in-laws is that we never do anything there. There are no games, so we have to sit around bored whilst trying to entertain the children. Easier said than done if it's wet outside.

 

[KnackeredBike]

@BrumJim @Electric_Andy

No, I love a family Christmas. Presents in the morning. Someone else cooking Christmas dinner. Continuing the nice wine throughout the afternoon/evening with board and card games.

However, this will probably be the last year because I remember Christmas being a day you just spend with immediate family as a kid with loads of idiosyncratic traditions and I want the same for mini-KB now 2nd mKB is on the way.

 

[cyberknight]

View attachment 376598

 

[stephec]

I'm going to invite Miss Goodbody round to mine this year. We're going to compare the contents of our stockings.

Who's going to be serving up the stuffing?

 

[Milzy]

As someone whose S-I-L has just returned to Londinium today after a 7 day stay you have my sympathies.

This week has sneakily become an annual affair and tbh it frazzles my brain - as a lover of my own space and routine I struggle with the intrusion.

I accept that the ever lovely Mrs SD is perfectly entitled to have family 'up' and I do my best to put a brave face on it all but it really tests my patience. Despite the genetic connection my S-I-L is not remotely like Mrs SD. She's a nice person but just not my cup of tea - and I'm probably not hers either.

It's a tricky situation to handle and tbh I can't seem to find a way to sort it so, although I have no real advice to offer, do take solace in the fact that you are not alone.

Same with my S I L, she is a chav who doesn't work and likes loser men rather than good guys.

 

[MikeG]

Having to put up with your husband/wifes family is something a person needs to think about before getting married. If your the type of person who really cant be bothered with the in laws then perhaps marriage isnt for you.You dont just have the person you have years of having to listen to and entertain their family as well.You cant just cherry pick the bits you want.

It isn't as straight forward as that.

Who could predict that an interesting, pleasant, polite man in his early 50s could turn into a bitter and twisted aggressive unpleasant so-and-so by the time he got to mid 60s, and a paranoid cantankerous old bastard by his 70s?

 

[Mrs M]

Unless it's your own fart, they always smell nice.

 

[Oxo]

Me and my good lady wife manage to look after ourselves 364 days a year without any problems. Both son and daughter, however, are of the opinion that we can't possibly survive Christmas Day on our own. We would quite happily stay at home but are pressured into visiting one or the other.
Similar problem to many of the thoughts expressed here, just looking at it from the other side.

 

[Mrs M]

We spent every Christmas with in laws and family, (only one day a year though).
First and best Christmas in 2009, just us two (and the cats). Very relaxed and enjoyable.
Went to Tenerife last Christmas, Mrs M's brother joined us for some of the holiday.
Enjoyed the company and golf partner for Mr M while I went away exploring on the MTB.