Christmas Day and in laws ?

[Milzy]

I've never understood why there is this expectation or requirement that you go to either your parents or in-laws at Christmas.

When you get married, you're forming a new family grouping, so it should be up to you to start a new tradition of having your own Christmas together, even more so if you have children. That's not to say you shouldn't see the family, so schedule a day at some point, but definitely not Christmas Day itself.

When the MIL has lived on her own for many years because no man can live with her the wife just says we can't leave her on her own. The siblings won't take her either as they go to their dads.

 

[GrumpyGregry]

Parents can also just take it for granted that their unmarried children will want to spend every single Christmas with them. It can be impossible to explain that you'd rather be somewhere else. DAHIKT

If. Only.

 

[alicat]

Looks like it's the siblings turn for a change. Or your m-i-law can face up to why no-one wants her at Christmas.

 

[Welsh wheels]

It's only a fairy tale

In your opinion...

 

[subaqua]

Am I the only one on here who loves spending time with the family over Christmas?
Sadly I've lost all my grandparents, all of whom loved to be with the family over Christmas. My Mum is getting older, and slightly more racist by the year, but I guess having grandchildren that she can occupy makes it better. I loved Christmas with my In-laws too, even though Christmas day was a lot more quiet than I am used to, and am sad that poor health restricts our trips to see them.

Christmas has changed now that both me and my sister have young children - for a start it is a lot shorter, and managing excited children has taken over from a lot of silly games, leg pulling and late evenings, but still would not miss it for anything.

As a child I hated the whole thing . Mum was ill but we didn't know she was ill she was just moody at Christmas and any " special occasion " made my birthdays fun too. So she would just be negative about the whole thing and then invariably spit the dummy at about 4pm in Christmas Day have a massive rant and then not speak to anybody for a day or 2 . We learnt from an early age Christmas was not going to be fun. Then I got married and it took until my daughter was 2 till I realised Christmas could be fun. The best ones have been with just me wife and kids. When youngest arrived 10 years ago things got even better. That's why I get a bit Christmas giddy now .

Having MIL down though gets to be an awful experience as I feel on ceremony . Love her to bits tho .

Have asked my dad down for this year as he hasn't been down for 10 years . Hoping he will come .

OP speak to your wife , she might not realise and as I have discovered . Life is far too short.

 

[Milzy]

Wife says maybe fly somewhere Boxing Day now. It has potential I suppose. Just need to figure out where.

 

[subaqua]

Wife says maybe fly somewhere Boxing Day now. It has potential I suppose. Just need to figure out where.

Well it won't be with monarch ...,

 

[Moodyman]

Whilst nobody should do what they don't want, there can be tremendous satisfaction from a little selflessness.

Typically, parents give up so much to raise their kids, surely it's only right to give a little back, even if it's only once a year.

 

[slowmotion]

^^^^^ This.

One day we might all be in the same position as your mother-in-law. It's not a huge sacrifice, is it?

 

[lutonloony]

We do our pilgrimage up to Luton/London the weekend before Xmas. My sister loves Xmas so has as many of the Family round that can make it on Saturday, then MIL and wife's family Sunday, and Xmas on our own. Sort of works