Christmas Haters?

[ColinJ]

With respect, you need to discuss your feelings with "people" (I'm going to guess that "people" refers to Mrs ColinJ) and tell them how you feel. It's no good doing stuff not to mess up other people's Christmas when it messes up your own.

Maybe, if you can discuss it rationally and unemotionally**, then "people" will realise that your way reduces their stress and is actually what they want too.

Norm, no offence mate, but I really would stop guessing!

I am unmarried, single in fact. My long-term relationship actually finally broke up in a row over Christmas arrangements which is one reason why I feel so strongly about the bloody subject! 

I had two rotten teeth and an abscess which were causing me agonising toothache. It was a Sunday afternoon in late October and I had an appointment to have them extracted on the Monday morning. Despite the pain, I had agreed to go for a nice walk over the local hills with my then girlfriend. I told her that I was in pain, and I just wanted to walk quietly but within minutes the damn Christmas thing had started...

"What are we going to cook on Christmas Day?"

"Sorry, I've got toothache - I can't think about that now. Leave it until nearer the time."

"Oh, it's okay for you, you won't be spending 5 hours cooking in the kitchen!"

"Well, that's probably because, as usual, I don't think it is necessary! If you want me to cook, I will and it will be the kind of thing that we usually eat and enjoy, and it will take less than an hour to prepare."

"You love my Christmas cooking!"

"Yes, I do, and I thank you for it every single time but I always tell you that it isn't necessary to make such a fuss and get stressed about it. Let's have a simple Christmas for a change."

"And what kind of Christmas would that be then!"

"It would be a simple family gathering and we'd still enjoy it, and perhaps we wouldn't end up slumped in our chairs afterwards knowing that we'd over-indulged ourselves."

"You're just selfish!"

"IT'S ONLY F*****G OCTOBER - I'M IN AGONY AND I'M NOT GOING TO TALK ABOUT CHRISTMAS UNTIL AT LEAST DECEMBER 1ST AND THAT'S THAT!"

At which point, she turned round and walked out of my life.

So, again, with all due respect - F**k Christmas! You enjoy what you what to do, and I'll put up with what I have to put up with, which this year includes visiting my elderly mother who is very ill in hospital. She might not actually make it to Christmas, but if she does, it will be her first away from the family. Despite the magnitude of that, I'm still being asked what do I want to eat, whose house will I be staying at etc. Honestly, I don't care, I'll fit in with what everybody else wants, let's just get it over with!

 

[addictfreak]

Im with you Colin, I just want to be left to get through christmas in my own way. I get sick and tried of people telling me what I should or should not be doing.
Im more than happy for them to enjoy it the way they want too, but please respect my right not to join in.

 

[Arch]

At which point, she turned round and walked out of my life.

If she couldn't cope with your feelings, or compromise, she wasn't up to much. Not really Christmas's fault...

I had a boyfriend who disliked Christmas, whereas I really do like it. One year I was housesitting for a friend, with my Mum. He came for part of the day, we had some booze, exchanged gifts, and then he went off to drink sherry for the rest of the day, while we ate dinner. He said afterwards it was the best most relaxed Christmas he'd had - because I finally learnt to cope with us having different ideas and let him go off and do his own thing.

The whole cooking thing is people making a rod for their own backs. Last year, I was home the day before Christmas day, and on Christmas Eve, Mum and I cooked the bird (to serve the meat cold), boiled some gammon, prepped all the veg (peeled sprouts, chopped carrots, braised red cabbage in cider) and did everything we could, before my sister, b-i-l and Oli arrived. Come Christmas Day, it took less than an hour for a couple of us to get dinner on the table, and that was with an excited 2 year old to keep an eye on.

This year I can't get there until pm on Xmas Eve, but Mum'll get stuff prepped ahead, and my sister will likely bring some stuff ready to go.

 

[Dayvo]

Im with you Colin, I just want to be left to get through christmas in my own way. I get sick and tried of people telling me what I should or should not be doing.
Im more than happy for them to enjoy it the way they want too, but please respect my right not to join in.

Too right, addictfreak! I agree completely!

I'm being 'forced' to enjoy Christmas with my misses and her two gown-up sons and late teenage daughter!

I've told her I don't like fuss, or presents, or TV programmes, or Christmas music, or small talk.

Laughter and good food is more than enough for me! But will she listen? I know she wants to be with her kids etc., but they are her kids, and only one of them like me! But I have to pretend to be enjoying myself for her sake!

Sorry to hear of your ills, Colin!

I know exactly how you feel as I've been there myself!
You'll be all right, just don't bother suffering fools: I don't!

 

[mark barker]

Christmas sucks. People rushing around buying gifts that aren't wanted, for people that they don't see for months at a time. Madness. Surely its far better for everyone to agree to spend the money on themselves, buying what they want and spending time doing what they want rather than eating & drinking too much in the company of extended family.

I've found it really hard since having kids as everyone assumes I'm going to decorate the house like a tacky department store and buy a months supply of food to eat in a couple of days whilst my kids indulge in the latest consumer craze. Not happening in this house.

 

[byegad]

Over hyped nonsense for me. I 'did Xmas' when the kids were small and will 'do' it again this year for my Grandson, but other than presents the whole 'feast' thing is so out of date. When I was a kid in the 50s we had things for Xmas we didn't eat all year, food was still rationed when I was born, I still have my ration book. But now it's overdone and I mean that in both senses of the word.

As a devout atheist the religious side is meaningless and the commercial side, given how long it goes on, is plain irritating.

Never mind Cadbury's Chocolate eggs will be in the shops in January.

 

[ColinJ]

If she couldn't cope with your feelings, or compromise, she wasn't up to much. Not really Christmas's fault...

We disagreed about lots of things, but, heck, she's still my best friend!  

We didn't have much to do with each other for a while because she got a new boyfriend, but we've known each other for 33 years now and have mellowed over the years so the disagreements are less frequent and less intense.

I don't have a problem with other people doing what they want as long as it doesn't impact on me too much. I never go to festivals, clubs or parties because they aren't my thing but I wouldn't try and ban them!

Listen, have a nice Christmas folks - just remember not to get too stressed out about creating the 'perfect' one. Who cares if that wrapping paper isn't 100% right, or you clean forgot about the sprouts? Perhaps resist that extra mince pie and go for a little walk after your Christmas dinner instead? I'd also suggest recording some good TV programmes or get a pile of DVDs organised over the next couple of weeks so you don't have to suffer the Christmas TV programmes (unless of course you like that kind of stuff)!

Right, for me I think that's enough of Christmas until Christmas Day!

 

[Arch]

When I was a kid in the 50s we had things for Xmas we didn't eat all year

But I do that now. It may not be rationed, but we still use it as an excuse to treat ourselves a bit. This year, it'll be a nice beef joint, something my Mum or I would never have at any other time, living alone. And it's nice to know there's plenty to snack on, when the rest of the year, we live on tight budgets and restrained calories.

I quite understand if people don't want to join in, but I'm getting a bit fed up with the generalisations that those of us who do enjoy it are somehow gluttonous idiots wasting money and dispensing tat. Every one of the gifts I've bought has been chosen with great care, some of them specifically asked for. I very much hope that everyone will enjoy getting them as I did choosing them. We grew up in an extremely frugal household, and my sister and I managed to enjoy Christmas without excessive tat (we had a decorated tree, that was it for decor - the same artifical one lasted more than 10 years) or the latest consumer crazes (for several years, a new pair of jeans or trainers was my main present). I have no doubt my nephews will be brought up similarly, albeit with a little more cash available. It doesn't have to be all or nothing.

 

[longers]

There's so much in here I agree with, both pro's and con's. It can be tough but also can be wonderful.

Take care people.

 

[Piemaster]

We have our traditional (for us over the last few years) Christmas dinner. Bacon sandwiches. I'd highly recommend them as a stress free option.
Started when we realised neither myself, wife or kids were bothered about turkey + trimmings. We would rather spend the time with the, then young, children and their new presents than in the kitchen.
We do have a nice meal together but on christmas eve, more Norweign style
An afternoon walk later to the M-I-L's for her buffet later on.

It's all about spending time together when I'm at home (I'll be away at work in the coming week for the next month unfortunately).
Actually today has been pretty much the same, as its the last day we'll be together before Christmas. I opened my presents (as I won't be at home) and just spent the day with the family. And had a bacon sandwich for lunch too

 

[darkstar]

Some grumpy people around, I just enjoy getting all the family, and extended family together around christmas time, drinking, eating and having fun.

 

[dellzeqq]

Listen, have a nice Christmas folks - just remember not to get too stressed out about creating the 'perfect' one.

spot on, Sir Colin!

 

[numbnuts]

I've been told by the other half of the family that Christmas dinner will be at a posh hotel, all I'm glad is that I'm not paying for it, I'd sooner stay at home on my own.

 

[Bird Brain]

Christmas is for families/friends and not for people like me.

 

[compal]

I've cancelled Christmas.......I can't cope with this intense shopping lark......