Christmas

[tdr1nka]

Bless you Willow, it's really tough trying to maintain dignity but again, no one could fault you if you let it slip once in a while.
Kids know what's going on far better than you know and it isn't wrong to let them know how you're feeling once in a while.

 

[yenrod]

Xmas is a joke !

 

[spandex]

Opposite to me then I want him there! I tried to do Christmas on christmas eve last year but it just didn't work as someone was missing. Christmas day I went to visit my aunt in hopsital and who should I meet as I was going in - my brother we live 80 miles apart - he hates christmas and was there to get out of the family celebrations!

The thing is I wont to be there and or have them but she is just not willing. Even when I was with her she would never let me cook? why? because I was a chef for ten years but I had to. sorry I'll stop

Bless you Willow, it's really tough trying to maintain dignity but again, no one could fault you if you let it slip once in a while.
Kids know what's going on far better than you know and it isn't wrong to let them know how you're feeling once in a while.

You are so right my kids wont to spend all there free time with me but my ex just gives me Saturday and I some times have to work. Don't even get me started on her and the kids bikes!

 

[buggi]

you know what Willow... i think you are being a little too civil to be honest (hence why you might be comfort eating?) Feck them! if they don't want to come then tell them the kids can come to him on boxing day, and tell the kids they are having TWO christmas days this year. plenty of families do that. stop bending over backwards for him and pretending everything is ok. he really fecked up your life so if i were you i wouldn't be so civil, tell him you are not cooking for him and his tart, and you might find that if you start telling him where to stick it you might exercise a few demons.

just a thought... tell me to feck off if i'm out of line, but why should you always be the one to fix things? he's the one that left so tell him he's the one that has to miss out. in fact, punch him for making you eat cake!

and don't believe that crap about you not making him happy, he just couldn't keep his dick in his pants. i made my ex very happy in the bedroom, i know this, not because i'm big headed but because he told this was why he was with me, but he still couldn't keep his dick in his pants. apparently he couldn't help it "he likes sex"... well what the hell were we doing??? i'm confused. but he feels bad cheating so apparently that's ok... rant over.

 

[surfgurl]

Aaaagh the dreaded C word.
I'm a step mum to two teenage boys who live with me and their Dad. Up until two years ago when the youngest moved over to live with us we alternated Christmas and New Year. They would spend Christmas with one of us and New Year with the other. It seemed to work out ok.
When the youngest moved over to live with us as, it got a little complicated and ended up with the eldest going over to his Mum's for Christmas and the youngest for New Year. That was the New Year where the youngest got appendicitis while at his Mum's and we drove 150 miles to be with him in hospital. I ended up staying with him for three days.
Last year both boys went for Christmas and stayed with us for New Year.
We've now reached the point where they make their own arrangements to see their Mum, we have nothing to do with it. They've seen her twice this year so far. This year my husbands Mum is coming to visit for Christmas so the boys have been told they are to be here to see Grandma for Christmas.

 

[yenrod]

If you know where you are with someone, how can you go wrong: unless the persons thick !

Willow sorry to be straight but come on theirs taking the piss and taking the piss - give the jerk some 'own medicine'.

Sounds like he's well and trully overdue his !

Respect.

 

[buggi]

Willow... please for your own sake, put yourself first for a change. i see one of my best friends depressed all the time coz she doesn't want to say anything to upset "the situation" and look like the bad nasty mom, so she always puts herself last, and is constantly hurt and upset. she is genuinely a nice person and her ex takes full advantage of this. her ex is a w@nk stain and in my opinion deserves to be given a piece of her mind. i hate to see her like that and i would hate it if you felt the same. go on, let your demons out girl! it's good therapy.

 

[tdr1nka]

Willow... please for your own sake, put yourself first for a change. i see one of my best friends depressed all the time coz she doesn't want to say anything to upset "the situation" and look like the bad nasty mom, so she always puts herself last, and is constantly hurt and upset. she is genuinely a nice person and her ex takes full advantage of this. her ex is a w@nk stain and in my opinion deserves to be given a piece of her mind. i hate to see her like that and i would hate it if you felt the same. go on, let your demons out girl! it's good therapy.

+1 on everything that Buggi has said.

Pride and dignity are seriously overrated IMO.

 

[got-to-get-fit]

+2 on Buggi's comments

I think you need closure on this guy.

 

[Aperitif]

+3 on Buggi's comments - and yenrod's too.
Willow can bend a long way...but only so far.
And, as tdr1nka says, kids know you know...
And thank you for sharing your feelings - it is an interesting read.

 

[Kirstie]

You do need let yourself get really angry with this tosser who left you and his kids for someone else: it's the ultimate betrayal. If he came back you couldn't trust him and in any case you deserve a lot better.

 

[Flying_Monkey]

Break-ups are hard. But from my own experience, I would certainly advise being civil (whatever you feel about the person), but definitely not trying to pretend you are still a family by doing things like Christmas together. It will end up not just confusing the kids, but also you (however much you think you know what you're doing...).

 

[alecstilleyedye]

+4 for buggi.

 

[spandex]

+5

 

[punkypossum]

+ 6!!!