Clever Song Lyrics

[Salty seadog]

Shouldn't it be;
And I got right up between her a rum and a ribena?

nope,

"I got right up between her, Rum and her Ribena."

predictive text error when I put run instead of rum.

 

[raleighnut]

TBH most of Rogers Lyrics could be in this thread,

View: https://youtu.be/KcwZihEpu3A

 

[Cletus Van Damme]

Half Man Half Biscuit - Dickie Davies Eyes

Mention The Lord Of The Rings just once more
And I’ll more than likely kill you
Moorcock, Moorcock, Michael Moorcock you fervently moan
Is this a wok that you’ve shoved down my throat
Or are you just pleased to see me?
Brian Moore’s head looks uncannily like London Planetarium

And all those people who you romantically
Like to still believe are alive, are dead
So I’ll wipe my snot on the arm of your chair
As you put another Roger Dean poster on the wall

God I could murder a Cadbury’s Flake
But then I guess you wouldn’t let me into heaven
Or maybe you would
‘Cos their adverts promote oral sex

A Romany bint in a field with her paints
Suggesting we faint at her beauty
But she’s got Dickie Davies eyes

And all those people who you romantically
Like to still believe are alive, are dead
So I’ll wipe my snot on the arm of your chair
As you put another Roger Dean poster on the wall

And all those people who you romantically
Like to still believe are alive, are dead
So I’ll wipe my snot on the arm of your chair
As you put another Roger Dean poster on the wall

 

[Pale Rider]

Anything by Steely Dan fits the bill if you want nonsensical.

 

[winjim]

I’m a serous as cancer when I say rhythm is a dancer.


Is possibly the dumbest lyric ever.

I don't want to see a ghost
It's the sight that I fear most
I'd rather have a piece of toast

 

[raleighnut]

I don't want to see a ghost
It's the sight that I fear most
I'd rather have a piece of toast

View: https://youtu.be/WJmKStqugMc

 

[nickyboy]

You can stick your Pink Floyd

Yo, I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want
So tell me what you want, what you really really want
I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want
So tell me what you want, what you really really want
I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really
Really really wanna zigazig ha

Poetic perfection

 

[Supersuperleeds]

Anything by Jim Steinman, for example:

Well I remember every little thing
As if it happened only yesterday
Parking by the lake and there was not another car in sight
And I never had a girl
Looking any better than you did
And all the kids at school
They were wishing they were me that night
And now our bodies are oh so close and tight
It never felt so good, it never felt so right
And we're glowing like the metal on the edge of a knife
Glowing like the metal on the edge of a knife
C'mon hold on tight
Oh c'mon hold on tight
Though it's cold and lonely in the deep dark night
I can see paradise by the dashboard light

Proper lyrics, proper music and when sung by Meatloaf, properly sung.

 

[otek59]

Spam, spam, spam, wonderful spam lovely spam

 

[DaveReading]

Buying bread from a man in Brussels
He was six-foot-four and full of muscles
I said, "do you speak-a my language?"
He just smiled and gave me a Vegemite sandwich

 

[NorthernDave]

Paul Weller:

"Power is measured by the pound or the fist"

"Saturday's Kids play on one-armed bandits, they never win but that's not the point is it?"

"To cut down on beer or the kid's new gear, it's a big decision in a town called Malice"

and a few dozen more that I haven't got time to type.

A couple more Weller gems:

"And the public gets what the public wants
But I want nothing this societys got I'm going underground"

'I first felt a fist, and then a kick
I could now smell their breath
They smelt of pubs and wormwood scrubs"

Away from Weller, another favourite is the penultimate verse of Bohemian Rhapsody:

"So you think you can stop me and spit in my eye
So you think you can love me and leave me to die
Oh baby can't do this to me baby
Just gotta get out just gotta get right outta here"

 

[Domus]

The Who - "I was born with a plastic spoon in my mouth" Classic

Lots of very clever lyrics on 10CCs early albums, Leaning on the tower of Pisa, had an eyeful of the tower in France etc etc
My favourite from "One night in Paris" "That's the way the croissant crumbles, after all"

 

[PaulB]

"Let me gaze upon your curves,
Instead of Ipswich Town reserves."

Swerving the Checkatrade from HMHB.

 

[ColinJ]

It would be hard to pick just a couple of lines from this epic from the Bard of Salford!

Far from crazy pavements
The taste of silver spoons
A clinical arrangement
On a dirty afternoon
Where the faecal germs of Mr Freud
Are rendered obsolete
The legal term is "null and void"
In the case of Beasley Street
In the cheap seats where murder breeds
Somebody is out of breath
Sleep is a luxury they don't need
A sneak preview of death
Belladonna is your flower
Manslaughter your meat
Spend a year in a couple of hours
On the edge of Beasley Street
Where the action isn't
That's where it is
State your position
Vacancies exist
In an X-certificate exercise
Ex-servicemen excrete
Keith Joseph smiles and a baby dies
In a box on Beasley Street
From the boarding-houses and the bedsits
Full of accidents and fleas
Somebody gets it
Where the missing persons freeze
Wearing dead men's overcoats
You can't see their feet
A riff joint shuts, opens up
Right down on Beasley Street
Cars collide, colours clash
Disaster-movie stuff
For a man with a Fu Manchu moustache
Revenge is not enough
There's a dead canary on a swivel seat
There's a rainbow in the road
Meanwhile on Beasley Street
Silence is the code
Hot beneath the collar
An inspector calls
Where the perishing stink of squalor
Impregnates the walls
The rats have all got rickets
They spit through broken teeth
The name of the game is not cricket
Caught out on Beasley Street
The hipster and his hired hat
Drive a borrowed car
Yellow socks and a pink cravat
Nothing, la-dee-dah
OAP, mother-to-be
Watch the three-piece suite
When shoot-stoppered drains
And crocodile skis
Are seen on Beasley Street
The kingdom of the blind
A one-eyed man is king
Beauty problems are redefined
The doorbells do not ring
A lightbulb bursts like a blister
The only form of heat
Here a fellow sells his sister
Down the river on Beasley Street
The boys are on the wagon
The girls are on the shelf
Their common problem is
That they're not someone else
The dirt blows out
The dust blows in
You can't keep it neat
It's a fully furnished dustbin
Sixteen Beasley Street
Vince the ageing savage
Betrays no kind of life
But the smell of yesterday's cabbage
And the ghost of last year's wife
Through a constant haze
Of deodorant sprays
He says retreat
Alsations dog the dirty days
Down the middle of Beasley Street
People turn to poison
Quick as lager turns to piss
Sweethearts are physically sick
Every time they kiss
It's a sociologist's paradise
Each day repeats
On easy, cheesy, greasy, queasy
Beastly Beasley Street
Eyes dead as vicious fish
Look around for laughs
If I could have just one wish
I would be a photograph
On a permanent Monday morning
Get lost or fall asleep
When the yellow cats are yawning
Around the back of Beasley Street

 

[PaulB]

It would be hard to pick just a couple of lines from this epic from the Bard of Salford!

I love that one. I love nearly all of JCC's stuff with Martin Hannett but that one is outstandingly good.