Cliched Story Thread

Melvil

Guest
It's been a little while since we've had a story thread so I thought we could make it a (little) bit different this time by making a rule that every addition must contain a cliche...so here goes:

Her husband had just returned home from the war...
 
at least that's where he said he was going when he popped out in carpet slippers and an overcoat three years previously. But then men are like that aren't they?
 

Tim Bennet.

Entirely Average Member
Location
S of Kendal
But those three years hadn't been kind to him; his thick leathery skin hung from his bones and his eyes were dark and recessed like piss holes in the snow.

Slowly he cleared his throat and began to speak.....
 

Elmer Fudd

Miserable Old Bar Steward
"oN I tndid" he said, "dna ym s'eman ton nevetS" in a Pink Floyd, Beatles, Exorcist sort of way, and disappeared into the swirling smog of London, which was strange, because he was in Swansea.
 
He didn't really need to be in a sea of swans because he was trying to get his ducks in a row, but hell's bells - that was the problem with speaking in Seugnotese. Oh "Smub" he exclaimed. "I'm never going to go backwards to where I was before I met that spotted dog named Dick"... Retracing his steps, he went down to the Crossroads and fell down on his knees...
 

Elmer Fudd

Miserable Old Bar Steward
"Fek it" he screamed ! "I'm gonna have to buy some boot laces, these sand eels always untie themselves and trip me up! Now where's me ha'porth of tar gone?" He reached out in the dark to search and his hands fell upon..
 

got-to-get-fit

New Member
Location
Yarm, Cleveland
then faintly visible through the cloying Swansea fog he saw the dim illumination of a neon sign, 'Fifi's' read the sign, it was a place he had visited a million times but tonight was different, dressed in womens lingerie covered by a beige rain mac he threw open the door to Fifi's, the music stopped dead, the inhabitants turned to face him ......Greetings, he said i have come to..............................
 

Elmer Fudd

Miserable Old Bar Steward
"My names Spam Sade" said the dry rain soaken stranger, as he asked for a double rocks on the bourbon, as he pulled a rabbit out of his pocket and asked the bar tender for a light,
"Is that animal up for it ?" he asked the the barman looking down.
"Go ferret" he replied






(Wot the F r we drinkin / smokin ?)
P.S. How's the other half GTGF ?
 
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