Cold calling


Smutmaster General
Cold caller: Hi, how are you this afternoon?
Me: Fine thank you, and you?
CC: I'm good ;) You've hade some bank charges in the last few years.
Me: How do you know?
CC: I was arksing you a question.
Me: You said it like a statement.
CC: (nothing....)
Me: click. Brrrr............



New Member
i have a certain amount of sympathy for cold callers having done it myself. It's a tough way to make a living. Mostly they are not that professional (like you describe) but there are some excellent professional 'canvassers' with genuine good deals to be had if you are in the market for a new T towel:biggrin:


Legendary Member
Ahhh yes, the finest weapon we have.

Cold caller makes a nuisance of want to be polite....sod it, just hang up the phone. (even if hes mid sentence)

I do it all the time...its enormously satisfying.

Elmer Fudd

Miserable Old Bar Steward
I love it when they ask to speak to the owner of the house, I have 3 options,

1) I say I'll go and get her and leave the phone on the side and get back on here.

2) Give them Durham C.C.s' phone number !

3) CC "Would you be interested in a re-mortgage so you can squander loads of money then we can repossess your house"?
ME "I'm glad you called as I was going to ring you to see if you would like to buy some double glazing"?


New Member
...woe betide the unfortunate who gets my wife on the phone....she's in sales herself but shows no mercy...she will lead them all the way around in circles then just as they think they are in she'll administer the coup de grace, it can be a long and cruel death.


My reply is simple: I am registered with the telephone preference service, so reputable companies know not to call me. Please remove this number from your database.

Door to door salesmen I love,
Cold Caller "Hello, don't worry I'm not trying to sell you anything" (yeah right!)
Me "I'm not worried because I'm not going to buy anything"
I'm yet to find one who could successfully get back into their stride after that.
reminds me of the guy who does fonejacker, (african accent) "hello i'm calling from your bank before we continue with this call i need your sort code and account number to verify who you are"!
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