Compliments for a 50 year-old colleague?

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Legendary Member
Help please! I have to make a presentation on Monday for the 50th birthday of a female colleague. Having witnessed various awful attempts at best man's speeches and other presentations over the years where the speaker tries to embarrass the victim, I am going to say genuine nice things about the lady (she is nice anyway!) but for a bit of humour I thought I might chuck in the old thing about a woman aged 30 being like the jungles of Africa, etc etc. Trouble is I can't find it on the web. Anybody got any pointers or any other suggestions?
i'm sure it was posted on here a couple of months ago but it's quite old and been used before so i'd look for something original. unless you can change it to suit her personality.
Keith Oates said:
Speak your true feelings about her, that always gets the best message across, never mind the clichés!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i don't think saying 'you're fitter than butcher's dog for your age and i'd still like to give you one' in front of her work colleagues is the best way to get your message across! :biggrin:

Smokin Joe

Legendary Member
trustysteed said:
i don't think saying 'you're fitter than butcher's dog for your age and i'd still like to give you one' in front of her work colleagues is the best way to get your message across! :biggrin:
It worked on some of the women I've known.

Mind you, I was never too fussy.


Legendary Member
N Ireland
Just rattle on about how some people dread turning 40 and how life begins at 40 etc and keep on mentioning 40 until she or someone else pulls you up and mentions she is 50 - that will give you the perfect opportunity to say "50, yeah right, no one looks that good at 50" etc etc. It'll make her day :biggrin:


Vice Admiral
Zoiders said:
Just get her a strippogram dressed as a fire fighter and be done with it

Oh yes, excellent idea. I used to go swimming at the Firemen's College in Moreton-in-Marsh.:ohmy::eek::biggrin::blush::thumbsup:;)


Über Member
Why are you focussing so strongly on age? Fifty is not even that old nowadays so it barely warrants a mention. Just think about the woman and what she has done and achieved, not her age.


Smutmaster General
(From the net...apologies to all Iranian cyclists on the forum (you'll see). Yes, I know Yugoslavia doesn't exist any more. ;)

Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa , half discovered, half wild, naturally beautiful with fertile soil.

Between 23 and 30, a woman is like America , well developed & open to trade, especially for someone
with cash.

Between 31 and 35, a woman is like India, very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.

Between 36 and 40, a woman is like France, gently aging; but still warm and a desirable place to visit.

Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain, with a glorious and all conquering past.

Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Yugoslavia, lost some wars, won some great battles but haunted by past mistakes, still very strong and proud.

Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Russia, very wide and borders are now largely un-patrolled.

After 70, she becomes Tibet .. Off the beaten path, with a mysterious past & the wisdom of the
ages...still desirable but only those with an adventurous spirit & a thirst for spiritual knowledge & true love dare visit there.


Between 1 and 78, a man is like Iran, ruled by a d*#k.
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