Crassest exhortations

[trustysteed]

So if I wanted to give one to Arch it would be a noun.

you are re-nouned for it, Patrick!

 

[alecstilleyedye]

Ok these are all from one meeting. I sat at the back scribbling them down:

We want to see the levers going on
Park that idea
Suck it and see
Set up action codes
Confirm the clarity of the context of the answer
We're playing the game
We're ahead of the game
Phased in approach
Back to the ranch
Cohort/slice (used interchangeably and liberally)
All get off the oche!
This is the new world

Welcome to the world of NHS middle management.

do you play bullshit bingo in management meetings perchance?

 

[Arch]

you are re-nouned for it, Patrick!

 

[terry huckle]

For some reason I start to lose my temper when I hear people talking about "rolling out" something or other......what`s wrong with "introduce" or "implement?"

 

[Cycling Naturalist]

For some reason I start to lose my temper when I hear people talking about "rolling out" something or other......what`s wrong with "introduce" or "implement?"

They don't sound high tech enough.

 

[Hover Fly]

"Workshop" when used by the sort of people who would hurt themselves with something hot or sharp if they were in a workshop.

 

[wafflycat]

Good to see a lot of stakeholder participation in this thread...

 

[alecstilleyedye]

particularly from the end users

 

[Pottsy]

That's because they have some skin in the game.

 

[alecstilleyedye]

at work, our staff canteen is called the "bistro"

 

[laurence]

at my old job we came up with the phrases 'get the duck out of the fridge' and 'put the duck in the fridge'. we thought these were excellent team motivational words and would say the phrases at random... the term came from when my manager exclaimed that she should have refrigerated her hoisin wrap as it had gone a bit gamey since she'd bought it on the way to work.

several people actually thought they were proper phrases, even though we'd say them for no reason or without any reference. it was our little joke and we stopped when people took it seriously.

i miss getting the duck out of the fridge.

L

 

[Hover Fly]

"Pain is just weakness leaving the body"
Tell that one to a cancer patient.

 

[papercorn2000]

I hate this "management speak" like, "Oi, ya c***, do some more ****ing work or yer goannae get ****ing fired ya bastard!" Why don't they say what they mean?

 

[Big Bren]

Two gems from a report given to me by one of my minions:

"This isn't failure - it's deferred success."

"We haven't achieved it but we are working towards it."

Bren

 

[bonj2]

sorry to revive an old thread but I feel I have to express my annoyance at one really crass one:
"the future - it's in our hands" (heard on that really annoying 'EMA' advert on the radio)
or "the future's in your hands"
AAARGGH!