Crassest exhortations


New Member
Rhythm Thief said:
[singing] "Implement the barrel ..." [/singing]

I think you'll agree that doesn't work.;)

"Implement the strategy" could be an office version of the same song though.

"Implement the strategy, we have a strategy that works" etc
I think I might call my office "global headquarters" from now on. My employees will then know that I'm mad.

'get the duck out of the fridge' is an expression worth keeping for a rainy day!

Someone I used to work with would try to finish discussions with "well, this isn't getting the baby battered"

But I have to share this with you. It's from a document given to a client for their consideration last week.

"It is not enough to have a great vision in business – you have to pull the trigger."

and the next paragraph is:-

Mission Statement
Our marketing strategy is developed to positively establish a high level of awareness and understanding of the benefits of financial education and purpose lifestyle design among our target audience.

;) puke
I've been asked to "accelerate your valuestream to deliver the STP designs 2 weeks ahead of schedule, as stakeholders are starting to push us hard for the designs. Senior management has brought forward our phase 1 roll-out, but phase 2 is unaffected."

So I need to get my team to do 5 weeks of work, in 3 weeks. But I'm only allowed to bring 2 of them and me in on one Saturday before the deadline, because of budget pressures. On top of that, Phase 2 is entirely dependent on Phase 1 and must start as soon as Phase 1 goes live ARGH!!!!!!!

I'm so glad I'm back to uni as soon as Phase 1 is implemented, I am starting to regret saying that I would stay to see it out.

I feel very Dilbert at the moment
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