Culinary mishaps

[Arch]

Now that is funny! Possibly not at the time, but I defy anyone to read this and not laugh!

I did indeed laugh. You could perhaps flog the brew as a herbal infusion for twice the price of real tea...

 

[Lardyboy]

This disaster befell upon myself, before I start.

When I was about thirteen I developed quite a passion for cooking. I couldn't understand why my contemporaries in school had no idea on how to boil an egg never mind something a little more taxing.

So, it was summer holidays. My mother had taken my sister somewhere, my father is at work. I'm on my own, the stereo going full blast. Feeling peckish I raid the fridge. While looking around in it I notice the duck in the chiller. I know what I'll do, cook the duck for dinner, save my mother making it. Be in her good books!

So did. Duck in orange sauce with all the bits, courteously of Mrs. Beaton.

The tribe arrive home, my mother can't believe what I've achieved and says what a good boy I've been. Veg are all ready, orange sauce just so, duck needs to be a little more crispy skinned says my mother. No it's just right says I. No, more crispy says my mother and turns the oven up full. I go upstairs to do me ablutions and come back down to a duck that is now a lump of charcoal!

I think I swore for the first time at my mother and that I would not be eating the duck! I went out for a ride on the bike to calm down

 

[buddha]

This is a bit gross, but I microwaved a mouse - by accident though.
Gawd knows how it got in there. Must have been the cat!
But there was long squeek/hissing noise and a pop, followed by a pungent aroma

 

[Kirstie]

This is a bit gross, but I microwaved a mouse - by accident though.
Gawd knows how it got in there. Must have been the cat!
But there was long squeek/hissing noise and a pop, followed by a pungent aroma

So your posting name is...kind of ironic, then?

 

[Bromptonaut]

Hearts....i dont know which, but me mum used to cook them when we were kids... fabulous.

So......many years later, talking about this, i decided we're having hearts.

Errr, pigs or ox ? How do you cook them ? How long for ?

Never again , you coulda played squash with them. Disastrous

Lambs hearts are the ones you want. Cheap as chips, two packs of three will feed a family of four with a bit left over for freezing.

Trim off excess fat and slice into bite size chunks, coat in flour then casserole with root veg adding Marmite and/or Worcester suace for extra flavour.

Serve over a baked potato.

 

[Elmer Fudd]

After having a prawn cocktail when I was little and loving the 1000 island dressing, when i got home from school one dayand mom was next door so I thought I'd make myself a 1000 island dressing sarnie when I found a bottle on the side. BTW, all the curtains were shut on a bright sunny day.

(This is were my love of marmite came in)

I can catagorically state, after taking a very large bite, that Windolene sarnies do not tickle the tastebuds.