CycleChat Investigates - Pro-Celebrity puglism.

[Drago]

Well, according to various news sources Keir Starmer was jolly upset at being put down in yesterdays PMQ's. Seething with rage he is alleged to have sought out Boris in the corridor and given him both verbal barrels.

Allegedly.

Which got me thinking...which politician would win had they come to blows?

Keir doesn't look super fit, but is probably in OK shape for his age. He's a bit taller than Boris, and physics is the main player when deciding these things, and the reach will do him no harm. On the other hand, he was full of rage and righteous fury, which means he wasn't thinking tactically.

Let's be honest, Boris is a bit of a lard-O. On the other hand, he does jog and cycle so he does get at least some exercise. On the plus side of the ledger hes not a shouter and screamer, and we all know that in a bar fight its the quiet ones you need to be most wary of.

So, if it had come to blows, who would have prevailed?











PS. This is just a bit of light hearted bants for a cold winter morning. Please don't turn it into a politcal thread or, even worse, mention the bleeding B word.

 

[Chromatic]

Funny you should post this, I remember at the time of the eye test and Professor Van Tam's response thinking that I would like to see Professor Van Tam and Dominic Cummins go a few rounds in the ring.

 

[Oldhippy]

Wouldn't they get their fags to fight for them?

 

[Joffey]

Boris is a chunk, he only likes knocking kids down on rugby pitches. He couldn't fight his way out of a paper bag

 

[Drago]

God, I remember that! He got a bit excited and gave that lad an almighty hand-off, or somesuch?

 

[matiz]

Boris by a knockout inside the first round
While Starmer was deciding whether to lead with his left or with his right .

 

[newfhouse]

God, I remember that! He got a bit excited and gave that lad an almighty hand-off, or somesuch?

 

[Tenacious Sloth]

After seeing Boris tackle in the England vs Rest of the World football match at Old Trafford a few years ago I would say he has to be favourite.

However, for the rematch, being an expert on hindsight, Starmer obviously.

 

[PeteXXX]

Boris would, obviously, be sticking to Queensbury Rules so might be at a slight disadvantage, whilst Sir Kier would still have the sword he nicked from his Knighting at Buck House..
The blaggard might just pip Boris in the end!

 

[MichaelW2]

Boris would, obviously, be sticking to Queensbury Rules so might be at a slight disadvantage, whilst Sir Kier would still have the sword he nicked from his Knighting at Buck House..
The blaggard might just pip Boris in the end!

Boris would probably adopt Flashman Rules but claim later that he was using Queensbury.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Matt Hancock was inspired by Contagion whilst it’s been said Boris was inspired by watching Mr Bean. So maybe he’d be the Mr Bean of boxing.

 

[stephec]

Maggie would've banjoed the pair of them together.

 

[Beebo]

Prescott showed his fighting credentials when he got egged. A non fighter would have swung with their right but he jabbed with his left.
Proper boxing skills.

View: https://youtu.be/8UhME8dcOqc

 

[HMS_Dave]

Boris would likely have some caged naughty universal credit claimants ready to go incase starmer started winning. He'll offer the naughty scroungers an extra fiver a week for every successfully delivered drop kick...

 

[winjim]

I reckon a hundred duck sized Starmers could have one horse sized Johnson.