Cycling comedy: Alexei Sayle

[jazzkat]

I thought, that while not side splittingly funny, it had a great pro-cycling message that was delivered with some humour. Exactly the kind of thing that might sink into the middle class conciousness so that the next time Bertram goes for a close pass in the company Audi he might think twice...........maybe?!
I've never been a great fan of Alexei Sayle, but I quite liked this piece.

 

[Drago]

See, when one as in the Ambo being rushed to the cardiac unit following my heart wibble, that was still funnier than Alexei Sayle.

 

[Fnaar]

Ah well, each to their own. If you don't find Alexei Sayle funny, we probably wouldn't get on very well.

 

[jefmcg]

As I expected it was a wild exaggeration

Seems to be, as it was represented, a direct quote

"If the dog attacks: one defense is aerosol pepper sprays made for this purpose. They have a range of about ten feet and are light enough to clip to your handlebars. A water pistol loaded with a water-amonia solution will also work but is a good deal less convenient. If you have neither of these and can't or won't climb a tree get a stick or a large rock. No? The bicycle pump. Try to ram it down his throat. In any event, don't cower or cover up, because the dog will only chew you to ribbons. Attack. Any small dog can simply be hoisted up by the legs and his brains dashed out. With a big dog you are fighting for your life. If you are weaponless try to tangle him up in your bike and then strangle him. Kicks to the genitals and which break ribs are effective. If you have got a pump or a stick hold it at both ends and offer it up to the dog horizontally. Often the dog will bit the stick/pump and hang on. Immediately lift the dog up and deliver a very solid kick to the gemitals. Follow up with breaking the dogs ribs or crushing its head with a rock. If worst comes to worst ram your entire arm down its throat. He will choke and die. Better your arm than your throat."

 

[Gasman]

Walking through London a few years ago I saw Mr Sayle (or someone remarkably like him) pushing an old sit-up-and-beg roadster. I restricted myself to a "Good morning" but was dying to say, " 'Allo, Alexei, got a new bike?"

 

[robjh]

Seems to be, as it was represented, a direct quote

There must be more than one edition. My 1983 one just says on page 172 :
"What about an actual attack in whch you are being bitten and savaged? Unfortunately, my publishers will not allow me to explain in detail some of the methods for defending yourself. Dog lovers have threatened legal action on the grounds of prevention of cruelty to animals." (my emphasis)
So it looks like I've got the toned-down version.

 

[Dogtrousers]

Yup, although I no longer have my copy, I heard AS quoting it, and it rang true. In my teens I read that book from cover to cover repeatedly. I can still remember odd quotes such as "pedals lead a hard, dissolute life"

 

[robjh]

Yup, although I no longer have my copy, I heard AS quoting it, and it rang true. In my teens I read that book from cover to cover repeatedly. I can still remember odd quotes such as "pedals lead a hard, dissolute life"

and that he said he used to carry a sword around with him when he cycled in New York.

 

[GlasgowGaryH]

I never found him that good for comedy until I listened too the series on radio,Lenin of the Rovers

 

[Fab Foodie]

[QUOTE 3778922, member: 259"]Aagh - the clip's on a show hosted by Hugh Dennis. No way. I'd rather listen to the Archers. At the dentists! [/QUOTE]
Hugh Dennis is an avid road cyclist. As is Alexi Sayle ....

 

[swansonj]

[QUOTE 3785260, member: 259"]It doesn't mean i have to like him, though.[/QUOTE]
No, but it does mean you have to give him a wave when you pass him, though.

 

[Fab Foodie]

[QUOTE 3785260, member: 259"]It doesn't mean i have to like him, though.[/QUOTE]
.... Or even wave at him ....

 

[Fab Foodie]

I think a TMN goes somewhere!