Cycling tips, in rhyme. I'll start:-

[SteCenturion]

if there's mention of a helmet or even saddlebags..

most CC 'members' start to wave white flags....

if there's some smut about a ladies butt..

CC members know just where to look..

& if there is talk of a boob or bra..

don't call me -


call @Fnaar

 

[Cyclist33]

When cycling in a rural area
Beware of ticks and urticaria.

For riding through an urban zone,
I've no advice. You're on yer own!

 

[glasgowcyclist]

When you're trying to fix the derailleur
(a task that is bound to delay you)
set it up right
or your ride will be sh1te
and your mates will all think you're a failure.


GC

 

[Cheddar George]

Should you need a new jersey and have depleted coffers
then try Aldi and Lidl for their special offers.
They're not labelled by Rapha or made of merino
but they are very good value as far as we know.

 

[biggs682]

@biggs682 said "try an old bike"...




so I gave Jordan/Katie Price a ring.

and now @SteCenturion i cant sing

 

[IDMark2]

I just did a ride of over thirty,
In this weather my bike's all dirty,
But I won't be cleaning it with Muc-Off,
At that price they can just think again

 

[Fnaar]

What's that clicking noise?
Front mech? My spd's?
Could it be components
Made out of cheapest cheese?

I've cleaned, I've oiled, I've Mickled
I've tightened, and I've tucked
But man in LBS says
My bottom bracket's not as it should be.

 

[Beebo]

Ridng London's roads is great
I love cruising on my Kona
Keep a look out, play it safe,
Dont wanna be no organ doner.

 

[Cheddar George]

The rear brake is excellent for a long skid mark stunt
but if you want to stop quickly use more of the front.

 

[Fnaar]

I wish I was a hipster
On a fixie, with a beard.
I'd look back in 20 years or so
And think "by Christ, I was weird".

 

[Cheddar George]

If you want sound advice i'll give you this hint free
don't bother with posts by threebikesmcginty.

 

[threebikesmcginty]

I've always liked that Chedder George
I thought that he was swell
But now I've seen his post above
The **** can rot in Hell

 

[SteCenturion]

A City gent in pin stripe suit
ran past beggar playing flute

down escalator he did run
as if set off by a starting gun

quick, quick, quick, I shall be late
to miss the tram shall be my fate

dressed up in his finest clobber
pushed past ladies & children
the City nobber

blast & damn he made his tram
which hurtled fast towards East Ham

under ground the folks crammed in
think about their moral sin

faster, faster it did go
rocked side to side & to & fro

from under earth he did emerge
& all the people did converge

at last the gent did see the light
now free from chains & of his plight

"no more shall I catch the tube"

"I'm going to go & buy a CUBE"

 

[glasgowcyclist]

Jack and Jill rode up the hill to fetch a pail of water,
they came back unexpectedly and caught me with their daughter.


GC

 

[Fnaar]

I'm a daffodil
I'm a daffodil
My forks are back to front