Daft Catchphrases

[TissoT]

And howzabout a big kiss for your Uncle Jimmy?

A Glasgow kiss is what he needed in return ....

 

[pplpilot]

Gillette - The best a man can get...

I somehow don't think so....

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Nothing gets tougher - Masterchef

 

[Markymark]

Nothing gets tougher - Masterchef

Usually followed by me shouting...your head is the shape of a bollock!

 

[Elysian_Roads]

There's a car advert doing the rounds at the moment that I can't make any sense of - it's nonsensical even by car advert standards. The car drives around Paris for a bit, then all the lights go off, then they come back on again. The voiceover sounds like it has been translated from the Japanese using Google translate.

I can't even remember what the slogan is, it's just some random words.

Anyone know the one I mean?

Just googled to find it was the DS7 (aka glorified Citroen). "Audacity Drives to Excellence"...... Very arty and totally meaningless.

 

[raleighnut]

And then we ended up with the highest unemployment ever under Mrs T

 

[LeetleGreyCells]

There is a film from 1990 called Crazy People. Dudley Moore plays an advertising executive who has a nervous breakdown and decides to create “truthful” commercials and advertisements:

Volvo - They’re boxy, but they’re good.

Porsche - It's a little too small to get laid IN, but you get laid the minute you get out!

Jaguar - Sleek and smart. For men who’d like hand jobs from beautiful women they hardly know.

United Airlines - Your fear of flying may be valid. There are always plenty of plane crashes and people die like crazy. But you should also know that more people arrive at their destinations alive on our flights than on many others. So, if you have to fly, fly us. UNITED. Most of our passengers get there alive.

Sony - Because Caucasians are just too damn tall.

Continental Express - We'll Screw Them To Get Your Package There On Time.

Metamucil - It helps you go to the toilet. If you don't use it, you'll get cancer and die.

Quaker Oats - Does This Cereal Taste Great? Who knows. But At Least The Box IS Cute. Quaker Oats. Old Fashioned. 100% Natural.

Travel ad blurbs:
"Come... IN the Bahamas"
"Come to New York. It's Not as Filthy as you think"
"Forget France. The French can be annoying. Come to Greece. We're Nicer"
“Come to New York. There were fewer murders last year".

 

[palinurus]

There is a film from 1990 called Crazy People. Dudley Moore plays an advertising executive who has a nervous breakdown and decides to create “truthful” commercials and advertisements:

Volvo - They’re boxy, but they’re good.

Porsche - It's a little too small to get laid IN, but you get laid the minute you get out!

...

Everytime anyone mentions this film I think I remember the slogan "cancer? - maybe, flavor- for sure!", but it never shows up in the quotes on IMDB etc.

Now wondering if that came from another source and somehow became associated with my (scanty) memories of the film.

(This happens quite frequently, one example: I had- still have- a clear memory of my father telling me of the death of my grandfather when I was very young. Recently I dropped by the cemetery on the way home from work and it turns out my grandfather died the year before I was born. Couldn't be confusing it with my other grandfather since he was still around when my father died)

 

[Drago]

There's another one that's annoying me lately - "The British Army - come here and have a cuddle", or some such.

It should be " British Army - Join us and kick some ass!"

 

[smutchin]

Just googled to find it was the DS7 (aka glorified Citroen). "Audacity Drives to Excellence"...... Very arty and totally meaningless.

That’s the one. To be fair, it’s probably no more inane than “Vorsprung durch Technik” but you can get away with an awful lot of nonsense if you disguise it as exotic foreign wisdom.

 

[Drago]

VW dropped "Das Auto" as their slogan, as they discovered it didn't actually mean "wartime atrocities, lying, fiddling emissions and killing people with air pollution" as they'd originally thought.

 

[C R]

There's another one that's annoying me lately - "The British Army - come here and have a cuddle", or some such.

It should be " British Army - Join us and kick some ass!"

Why do you want the army to kick donkeys ?

 

[Beebo]

My company had a short lived tag line on our business cards.
“Excellence in everything we touch”.
Totally meaningless nonsense that gets quoted back to you by disgruntled customers.

 

[Nigeyy]

That's funny, I worked for a company with a very similar saying. We had to put up with a company meeting with a suit saying this as often as he could. There was a lot of scoffing and wondering how much it had cost to come up with that gem.

My company had a short lived tag line on our business cards.
“Excellence in everything we touch”.
Totally meaningless nonsense that gets quoted back to you by disgruntled customers.

 

[Nigeyy]

I would really like: "(company ABC) -you'll be lucky to have us work for you!"