Daily insult thread.

[benborp]

Aperitif, you've reminded me of one of the most hilarious sights I ever saw in Catford.

Very similar situation to yours. I stopped in traffic on the drivers side and, honestly, very gently enquired as to how the driver could have missed my presence on the road. He didn't seem too aerated and was probably going to give me a reasonable explanation as to why when the woman sat next to him went beserk. She threw herself at me through the drivers open window, she was trying to claw at me, snarling, spittle was flying. She looked terrifying but I felt quite safe though as she was very, very large and never going to fit through the window.

I went on my way and left the driver with a large woman wedged in his face.

 

[Gerry Attrick]

Tend not to get too many insults hurled around here, probably because many local car drivers have yet to evolve the power of speech. The ones that can form a syllable or two generally restrict themselves to "Get off the f*****g road", or something equally witty and original as I refuse to use the local cycle joke....I mean path.

 

[betty swollocks]

I've been called a 'gayboy arsebandit' by a charming young-ish woman.
Anyone beat that?

 

[ComedyPilot]

Had a passenger in a van give me the coffee shaker hand signal with the accompanying words. Shame he wasn't watching the road, or he'd have seen the traffic backed up at a junction ahead. I pulled up and shouted, "Who's the self-gratification artist now?" at him through the window. He promply closed the window, locked the door and sat stoney faced looking forwards and averting eye contact.

I could have filtered and got further on with my ride. But it felt like the right thing to do was stay at the door calling him a self-gratification artist, and saying how he had gone quiet, and was not as gobby.

 

[Aperitif]

It's the pants betty!

What price CycleChat Y-fronts eh? Imagine them peeping over the top of a pair of Lidl binliner overtrousers - should expand the insults quota no end!

 

[betty swollocks]

It's the pants betty!

What price CycleChat Y-fronts eh? Imagine them peeping over the top of a pair of Lidl binliner overtrousers - should expand the insults quota no end!

Some months ago I originated a thread about it

 

[Aperitif]

That was ages ago - I'm not young joe24, I'm old iron...can't remember that far back!

 

[thomas]

The ones that can form a syllable or two generally restrict themselves to "Get off the f*****g road", or something equally witty and original as I refuse to use the local cycle joke....I mean path.

I get that a lot on one of the roads leading up to the UNI. There is a cycle path/footpath thing and it's not unusual to get honked with the driver pointing at it. I just use the airzound and a few choice fingers and carry on my way. Little do they realise that the majority of that road I'm averaging around 20mph and when I'm not it's because it's on a slope up and there really isn't much point jumping onto the cycle path for 10 seconds.

I could have filtered and got further on with my ride. But it felt like the right thing to do was stay at the door calling him a self-gratification artist, and saying how he had gone quiet, and was not as gobby.

HAHAHAHA!

 

[iacula]

I'm much better at giving unprintable abuse than receiving it! Being carved up makes me angry, though I know I shouldn't take the bait. I suppose its a response to fear.

 

[very-near]

“What are you, some kind of f***ing poof?” after complaining when big 4x4 driver brushed my arm as he sped past through a narrow gap.

I recognised the car – normally parked on a local private driveway. Had a word at his door – funnily enough, he wasn’t quite as foul mouthed without the macho car for protection – he actually looked quite terrified – suffice to say that he promised never to drive like that near me, or to refer to me as a homosexual again!

I had a passenger lean out of a 'Chavalier' about 3 years ago and pour half a 2 litre bottle of flavoured water over me (vile smelling stuff) - and then throw the bottle at me on my old MTB.

They turned into a trading estate just after that. Red mist descended, and as I was 1/4 mile from home, nipped back and got the 4x4 (well there was a few of them in the car) Went looking for them where they turned in, but they had vanished.

I was that fired up, I would have taken the consequences if i'd have caught up with them (had the bars on there at the time) - spineless zarking twats - still boils my piss now TBH

 

[Nigel-YZ1]

Sat on a bench near Rotherham a few years ago having a breather. Empty road, 60mph limit, along comes a car, slowing down as it approaches.
Comes to walking pace, driver winds window down, and screams "Freak!", then floors it and goes.

I just stood up, and waved goodbye as he disappeared over the horizon.

There's some strange people about.

 

[Arch]

Not an insult, but...

Some years ago, riding back to Mum's from the middle of Leicester after an evening in the pub, I was a bit slow coming up a hill (as always). My BF cycled along side me and put a hand on my back to give me a shove (it's a wide road, and at 11pm, very little traffic and anyway, 2 abreast is allowed. A car came past, and hooted, as if to admonish. They then had to pull up at the next lights. BF pedalled up the the drivers door and knocked on the window - the driver did that straight ahead ignoring stare thing. BF knocked again and politely (although loudly to get through the glass), pointed out that they didn't have their lights on.

Cue the driver having to turn on lights, and halfheartedly acknowledge the favour, while still trying to ignore the potentially angry cyclist.

 

[CotterPin]

Mine's not an insult either but it was a stupid thing to say.

Overtaken very closely by a car at speed. Normally I don't bother to say anything but this time as I pulled up alongside it at the junction I commented, "You could have given me a little more room back there." Passenger replied, "Why? You don't need that much space. Bike lanes are only ..." and she held her hands apart to indicate the width of a standard bike lane.

There wasn't really any response to that - but it just reinforces my belief that most facilities for cyclists are useless if that is the kind of message they give to non-cyclists.

 

[skwerl]

Never get unsolicited abuse. I think London drivers are so used to cyclists they don't bother any more. Or they're worried that there's a real chance they can be caught up with and punished

 

[andrew-the-tortoise]

A few strange fits of abuse have been made, usually on Rotherham roads often; "AAAAaaaaaaaaarrrghnnnng" - or sometimes a less articulate phrase.
I once got called a 'P**i bastard' even though I am most clearly not asian (I did have a full beard at the time though).
The strangest one was; "Our lass sez thas got nice legs!", I cannot recall ever meeting his wife.

Rotherham is a strange place....