DIY plonker? Or shrewed property developer?

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XmisterIS

Purveyor of fine nonsense
My next door neighbour is a bit of a DIY enthusiast.

Over the last 8 months since he moved in, I frequently hear drilling, banging and other such noises from his property. What he does in there that warrants 8 months of drilling and banging, God only knows!

Anyway, I personally think he has now exceeded "cretin" on the amateur DIY scale ...

Why? Well, he had a perfectly good garden wall, which was (note the past tense) actually in much better condition than mine! (Mine has cracked due to past subsidence of the bottom corner of my garden and needs tieing). There is an area of "no man's land" to the back of our properties between the ones beyond, then the land dips down by a couple of feet, then an old chain-link fence, then a wooden fence. I think, technically, our properties stop at the back of the garden wall and everything beyond is part of the neighbouring properties.

The other day I heard "bang, bang, bang" from his garden. I looked out to see him demolishing his own garden wall. I shoot ye not. Bear in mind that the wall is about 6ft high and 20ft long. Off the top of my head, I reckon cost of having it rebuilt would be in the hundreds of pounds, perhaps a grand. Not content with demolishing the wall, he's dug up the foundations too. There were raised beds up against the wall, which he's demolished as well. He's done all this in order to give himself an extra 3 feet of garden, if that.

What astounded me even more was rather than filling up the trench behind with compacted hardcore from the demolished wall and then putting a surface on the top, he took all the hardcore to the amenity tip ... and filled the trench (right up to the wooden fence) with soil from the raised beds!! I may be wrong, but my idiot sensor tells me that piling soil up against a wooden fence (which isn't yours) to a depth of two feet will very rapidly cause the fence to rot, bow and eventually give way.

I will be ready with the popcorn when the owner of the fence realises what's happened ...
 

Angelfishsolo

A Velocipedian
I would love to join you for that event lol.


What astounded me even more was rather than filling up the trench behind with compacted hardcore from the demolished wall and then putting a surface on the top, he took all the hardcore to the amenity tip ... and filled the trench (right up to the wooden fence) with soil from the raised beds!! I may be wrong, but my idiot sensor tells me that piling soil up against a wooden fence (which isn't yours) to a depth of two feet will very rapidly cause the fence to rot, bow and eventually give way.

I will be ready with the popcorn when the owner of the fence realises what's happened ...
 
Slightly OT...

My wife has a gardener who does a couple of hours a week.

In the garden is a Celtic Cross, a few green men and a couple of gargoyles - so she thinks I am a satanist!

I was at home studying one day and she wanted to move the celtic cross to put in some plants. I flippantly replied to be careful not to disturb the first wife as the grave wasn't that deep....

Since then she has refused to come near the house if I am there, and the Christmas card refers to me as "and the husband"
 

Fnaar

Smutmaster General
Location
Thumberland
Slightly OT...

My wife has a gardener who does a couple of hours a week.

In the garden is a Celtic Cross, a few green men and a couple of gargoyles - so she thinks I am a satanist!

I was at home studying one day and she wanted to move the celtic cross to put in some plants. I flippantly replied to be careful not to disturb the first wife as the grave wasn't that deep....

Since then she has refused to come near the house if I am there, and the Christmas card refers to me as "and the husband"
Excellent!
 

brokenbetty

Über Member
Location
London
I just walked past one of our neighbours laying a slab path over the original black and red Victorian tiled path. I should stop him and tell him how he can sell the tiles for on ebay (newly arrived Polish family, probably never occured to him the English would pay more for broken 100 year old bits of house than they do for brand new perfect fittings), but he's half way through the job and since he's laying the new path on sand not mortar so I think I'll leave him to it. It'll be a nice surprise for whoever lives there next.
 

just jim

Guest
I just walked past one of our neighbours laying a slab path over the original black and red Victorian tiled path. I should stop him and tell him how he can sell the tiles for on ebay (newly arrived Polish family, probably never occured to him the English would pay more for broken 100 year old bits of house than they do for brand new perfect fittings), but he's half way through the job and since he's laying the new path on sand not mortar so I think I'll leave him to it. It'll be a nice surprise for whoever lives there next.

Indeed - always a thrill to encounter some reversible building bimbling!
 

dellzeqq

pre-talced and mighty
Location
SW2
ah - rememb covering all those panelled doors with hardboard in the early sixties? And remember taking the hardboard off again in the late seventies?

Mr. X. If tjhere's a level change your neighbour might have feared that the wall will fall over on something. He might have been better advised to tie in a couple of piers.
 

darth vadar

Über Member
My next door neighbour is a bit of a DIY enthusiast.

Over the last 8 months since he moved in, I frequently hear drilling, banging and other such noises from his property. What he does in there that warrants 8 months of drilling and banging, God only knows!

Anyway, I personally think he has now exceeded "cretin" on the amateur DIY scale ...

Why? Well, he had a perfectly good garden wall, which was (note the past tense) actually in much better condition than mine! (Mine has cracked due to past subsidence of the bottom corner of my garden and needs tieing). There is an area of "no man's land" to the back of our properties between the ones beyond, then the land dips down by a couple of feet, then an old chain-link fence, then a wooden fence. I think, technically, our properties stop at the back of the garden wall and everything beyond is part of the neighbouring properties.

The other day I heard "bang, bang, bang" from his garden. I looked out to see him demolishing his own garden wall. I shoot ye not. Bear in mind that the wall is about 6ft high and 20ft long. Off the top of my head, I reckon cost of having it rebuilt would be in the hundreds of pounds, perhaps a grand. Not content with demolishing the wall, he's dug up the foundations too. There were raised beds up against the wall, which he's demolished as well. He's done all this in order to give himself an extra 3 feet of garden, if that.

What astounded me even more was rather than filling up the trench behind with compacted hardcore from the demolished wall and then putting a surface on the top, he took all the hardcore to the amenity tip ... and filled the trench (right up to the wooden fence) with soil from the raised beds!! I may be wrong, but my idiot sensor tells me that piling soil up against a wooden fence (which isn't yours) to a depth of two feet will very rapidly cause the fence to rot, bow and eventually give way.

I will be ready with the popcorn when the owner of the fence realises what's happened ...


Is your name Nosey Parker ?
 
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