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Do any of you....

Discussion in 'CycleChat Cafe' started by Kirstie, 17 Sep 2007.

  1. ...have partners who work away a lot? If so, how do you cope with it, especially if you have kids? No kids here (thinking about it though), but mostly absent partner, and it really does my head in, even though I know when he's going to be here or not. Sometimes I get really down about it (like now, for example)...so please cheer me up!
     
  2. Cheddar George

    Cheddar George oober member

    Location:
    Location: Location
    I expect Patrick has an answer !
     
  3. OP
    OP
    Kirstie

    Kirstie Über Member

    I'm sure he does...free speech and all that...
     
  4. Bigtallfatbloke

    Bigtallfatbloke New Member

    I do.

    My Mrs is German and travels abroad (mostly Germany, but also Russia, South Africa & even the North of England!)

    On average I'd say she's away for about 30% of the year.

    I have learned to accept it, in fact even enjoy it sometimes...after 28 years together a bit of space can be good at times! We have a teenage son who travels with her to Germany whenever possible and stays with my wifes sister while my wife travels around over there. It's a good thing really, he has grown up with two homes, one here and one over there, he is bi lingual and he gets lot's of travel and 'work experience' over there (he helps out in a hearing aid shop!for pocket money).

    I only worry when she travels to South Africa alone...especially Johannesburg. I once went with her to Capetown for just the cost of the flights.

    Whenever possible I will also tag along on a trip, that way i get weekends away in Europe without any hotel bills, just flights and food.

    When she is unable to avoid trips where neither of us can go along then it's a case of us 'boys' fending for ourselves on the old catering front. It ends up being good Dad/son time...lot's of DVD's and take aways and late bedtimes etc!

    We speak everyday on the phone SMS and E mail.

    She loves her work and wouldn't change it if she won the lottery she claims...I'm happy if she is happy.
     
  5. wafflycat

    wafflycat New Member

    Location:
    middle of Norfolk
    Yes. My other half periodically works away and it's been like that throughout our married life. Sometimes he's away a lot, other times not so often. I don't have a problem with it. It's what his work demands, and work pays the bills. Much easier to be supportive than not. Keep in contact as much as possible - phone, email, text, hand-written romantic letter, be the early morning alarm call... Make it *fun* rather than a PITA, and make a point of enjoying your time together.
     
  6. dangerousjules

    dangerousjules New Member

    i worked away alot from my previous girlfriend, after three years we broke up because of all the stop/starting and trying to cram normal life into limited time...did'nt work for me. i should've known better since my dad worked in stuttgart for fourteen years leaving a young family here in england, the arguements betwen my parents were often horrible and hurtful, absence chips away at a relationship unless you're absolutley rock solid with your partner!
     
  7. I used to work Monday to Friday in Aberdeen. I did it for about 2 years before getting a similar job back in the Glasgow area. My missus absolutely hated me being away but because the money was good she put up with the situation.

    As for my point of view it absolutely ruined every Sunday as I knew that every Sunday afternoon would be filled up with getting things ready for Monday morning, ie. ironing shirts, packing bag, etc. Then it was always early to bed on a Sunday night as I would be getting up early so that I could leave the house by 5.30am to drive up to Aberdeen
     
  8. OP
    OP
    Kirstie

    Kirstie Über Member

    Yes we do all of that. I'm alone roughly 60% of the time and find it difficult to associate any of the time he spends away from home with anything positive although there are positive aspects, it's a bit of an emotional roller coaster. I have a solitary job which doesn't help much either. Had major problems last year and so it's all looking a bit difficult at the moment... although I'm hoping that things, which are mostly on the inside of my head, will improve!
     
  9. Is the situation likely to last forever Kirstie?
     
  10. OP
    OP
    Kirstie

    Kirstie Über Member

    Um yeah pretty much he's a freelance audio visual engineer and works away at conferences and events all the time. The career progression within the industry is just more of the same, higher profile events, better paid. It's really exciting work and he's achieving his lifetime ambition doing it, loves it and makes money, so it's great for him. I'm not about to say to him stop doing it or anything! Just being alone so much gets me down...and was wondering how others in similar situations coped.
     
  11. Dayvo

    Dayvo Just passin' through

    Things will work out, Kirstie! ;)
    I had a long-distance relationship for a while before living together with her for 10 years before she decided to have an affair with a bloke at work - so we finished three years ago!
    But true love will last.
    Keep your chin up! And watch out for the flirts on here! ;)
     
  12. OP
    OP
    Kirstie

    Kirstie Über Member

    Aw thanks Dayvo I feel better now - I like to think that true love will last...in any case I'm most unlikely to fall for the charms of anyone on here ;)
     
  13. Bigtallfatbloke

    Bigtallfatbloke New Member

    My view fwiw is that if one of the partners is unhappy about it , it is time to talk about it and look at how things can be changed. I don't think it is good enough for one side to be happy while the other isn't.
     
  14. gbb

    gbb Legendary Member

    Location:
    Peterborough
    A view from the absentees side...

    In the last twelve months, ive been to Cyprus three times and Uruguay once .....probably a total of 7 weeks in 12 months....and my wife hates it with a vengeance.


    For her, the fear of a plane crash (illogical, but understandable), the never knowing if i am coming back on schedule (which i hardly ever manage to do)...and the boredom.

    On the plus side, i got her to book herself across to Cyprus on the last few days of the last trip. Although i had to work normally, we had a brilliant weekend free. £380 for the airfares and extra on the hotel room.....it was worth every penny. You could spend almost that on a weekend break in London.

    A friends husband is a european truck driver, who's away for 2 or 3 weeks at a time. She took 10 years to get used to it, and still doesnt like it. But....get used to it she did.

    Sorry Kirstie, not very positive or helpful. I always feel a mixture of enjoyment of the job, but desperately sorry for what it does to the wife. Regular phone calls and regular contact via msn messenger help a lot.
     
  15. OP
    OP
    Kirstie

    Kirstie Über Member

    Yes I will have to get used to it as it's not going to change! The only thing I can do is plan things around the time he's away and back I guess...