Do you remember the good things that happen?

[yello]

Just curious, is it the human condition? That is to only remember the mistakes you've made, the arguments you've had, the injuries that have befallen you.

I've done loads of good stuff (ok, SOME good stuff ), things I can be really proud off, but they rarely breeze into my mind and put a smile on my face. Disputes and mistakes, on the other hand, tear at me and keep me awake. I know they're in the past, nothing I can do but learn, but they still cause brain churn. Why is that?

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

Same here - I still cringe about things I did and said about 10 years ago

 

[numbnuts]

That is strange, I had a terrible messy divorce and I was glad when it was over, but now when I look back it is like a mist has been put in front of my eyes and I can't see anything clearly even when I think of my wife and daughter they too are a blurred image, I look at it as my brain it trying to block out all the hurt and anger I suffered in the past.

 

[XmisterIS]

Oh, I definitely focus on the negatives! It was only this morning that I dropped a slice of toast; naturally it landed jam-side down and before I knew it, I was screaming with rage and frantically hacking at my wrists with a blunt knife ...

 

[gbb]

The answer i've found to making mistakes is always to let people know you're not perfect and don't know everything. My job's (packing engineer) tested me to the limits (and beyond at times) but i always pre-empt (sp) peoples expectations by letting them know i don't know all the answers all the time.
The biggest mistake is to try to bluff your way through something, you look an even bigger idiot that you need to. People repsect honesty and generally can recognise bullesh1tters.
I can't remember ever making a mistake where i wanted the earth to open up and swallow me, but i've made plenty of mistakes. But i don't dwell on them, i'm not even averse to poking fun at myself.

Generally i'm a positive person, i'll always try to find the positive angle, even in a negative situation.

 

[vernon]

I think that we remember the negative things in our own lives possibly because they have a bigger impact on us than the nicer things.

I try to dismiss the bad bits from my thoughts as soon as they bubble up. After all, they can not do me any harm.

 

[JonnyBlade]

Is it because the we never get thanked for the good things we do but are berated for all the negative stuff?

 

[Deleted member 1258]

Its one of the reasons I learnt yoga and meditation, developed the quiet mind. I've done some great stuff during my life and have some marvellous memories, but there's the other side of the coin, behaved badly, treated people badly and made some bad mistakes. I used to worry about the mistakes rather than remember of the good times, now I can shut it down. I think its all just part of being human, we need to learn from our mistakes that's why we remember them so vividly, and why we sometimes worry about them to much.

 

[postman]

Glad it's not just me .My divorce really messed with my head .Still think about it now and it's twenty four years ago .

 

[summerdays]

I think I mostly think about positives but there are a couple of things that do play on my mind every now and again where I wish I could of dealt with it differently. Still I can't turn back the clock so my live with the hand that I'm dealt with.

 

[tyred]

I've certainly made my fair share of mistakes but I don't think it's necessarily bad to remember them. It's a question of asking yourself what you can learn from the mistakes.

People that refuse to admit mistakes, refuse to admit to being wrong and try to constantly bullshit their way through everything get on my nerves. Sadly, they usually end up being my boss...

 

[Globalti]

I'm glad to read that I'm not the only one constantly mulling over bad things I've done in the past. It's a bad habit that I can't shake off.

 

[Fab Foodie]

I'm glad to read that I'm not the only one constantly mulling over bad things I've done in the past. It's a bad habit that I can't shake off.

+1

 

[ColinJ]

I'm glad to read that I'm not the only one constantly mulling over bad things I've done in the past. It's a bad habit that I can't shake off.

I don't think I've done that many bad things, but I do spend an awful lot of time getting worked up about bad things done to me and to other people!

 

[Fiona N]

It's not so much the big mistakes and failures I've made that keep me awake as I did the best I could at the time but the trivial selfish actions which haunt me, when I chose to do/not do something for no better reason than I couldn't be bothered. One particular incident was an old guy in a suit on a really old-fashioned gents bike with a covered chainline asked if I could help him put the chain back on but it looked like a dirty job and I said no and cycled off - I just think I really let myself down as just how big a task would it have been?

I think that's the key to my 'mind bashing' - not living up to my own standards. It took me long enough, and a lot of grief, to realise not everyone even aspired to my sort of standards (inculcated by parents from an early age to 'always put others before yourself', 'turn the other cheek' sort of thing), to lower my expectations of others and to 'toughen up' but there's always a cost