Don't go in the water

[Dayvo]

I went swimming off the coast of Blackpool once. After half an hour or so I went back to shore and saw a dirty nappy and some condoms floating in the surf.

If only I'd seen them as I was about to start my swim.

And they're the things YOU SAW!

 

[Maz]

And they're the things YOU SAW!

Goodness knows what was in the water I accidently swallowed.

 

[Dayvo]

Goodness knows what was in the water I accidently swallowed.

The previous contents of the nappy and condoms?

 

[wafflycat]

Many, many, many years ago, mate of mine was swimming off the coast of Blyth in Norfthumberland & got stung by a Portuguese Man o'War. All this claptrap in the press today about the 'new' threat of killer jellyfish is a pile of twaddle. Portuguese Man o'War have been found in UK waters for years and years

 

[TheDoctor]

The biggest animal I ever saw in the water was a reef shark - like a teeny-weeny Jaws about 5 feet long. It was swimming about a yard away from me.

 

[papercorn2000]

It's hardly a fair fight is it? If it was on the bear's manor -ie on dry land, it would hump the shark (and then eat it).

 

[wafflycat]

The biggest animal I ever saw in the water was a reef shark - like a teeny-weeny Jaws about 5 feet long. It was swimming about a yard away from me.

First time I ever went fishing off the NE coast, some bloke on the boat caught a shark. It was about 4-5 feet long and once on the baot proceeded to chomp its way along the deck (and it was a small deck). Cue loads of fishermen & lone fisherwoman (me) leaping on to any bit of the boat above the deck to get out of the way...

 

[Dayvo]

The biggest animal I ever saw in the water was a reef shark - like a teeny-weeny Jaws about 5 feet long. It was swimming about a yard away from me.

The biggest shark I ever saw swam under my rowing boat in a lagoon in Australia. It was twice as long as the rowing boat! There was NOTHING teeny-weeny about it!

 

[TheDoctor]

Maybe I should have said 'the biggest thing I saw in the water with me'.
It seemed slightly frightened of me and swam off after a bit.

 

[Sh4rkyBloke]

The biggest animal I ever saw in the water was a reef shark - like a teeny-weeny Jaws about 5 feet long. It was swimming about a yard away from me.

Errm, Jaws was a Great White. I'd be very impressed (and jealous) if you'd been in the water with a Great White.

 

[Maz]

Many, many, many years ago, mate of mine was swimming off the coast of Blyth in Norfthumberland & got stung by a Portuguese Man o'War. All this claptrap in the press today about the 'new' threat of killer jellyfish is a pile of twaddle. Portuguese Man o'War have been found in UK waters for years and years

Blimey. I take it he recovered, right?
It must have just drifted there, I reckon...they don't have any means of propulsion like normal jellyfish.

 

[wafflycat]

Yup - spent a night in horse spittal but was okay afterwards.

 

[TheDoctor]

Errm, Jaws was a Great White. I'd be very impressed (and jealous) if you'd been in the water with a Great White.

No no no, this was quite small. It just looked 'sharky', you know, the triangular fin sticking out of the water, that kind of thing.

 

[Sh4rkyBloke]

No no no, this was quite small. It just looked 'sharky', you know, the triangular fin sticking out of the water, that kind of thing.

Looked 'sharky' - like it!!



<annoying tw@t mode>

Not all sharks have the triangular fin though...
this, this one, this and this too are all still sharks...

</annoying tw@t mode>

... but I see what you mean.

 

[papercorn2000]

My mum's friend claimed to have been swimming off of Aberystwyth and got bumped by a Basking Shark. That would lead to rapid colonic evacuation!
Mind you, I'm not sure I believe the story.