duplicity, or am i over reacting?

alecstilleyedye

nothing in moderation
Moderator
my bro-in-law (wife's brother) has gone to australia for a couple of weeks with his parents. his wife has been on about getting a dog, a point over which he's always said no (they can't have kids, why limit the freedom that gives them by adding a dog). they had two cats until recently, but they both died after a decent innings each. as recently as a week ago, he was adamant he didn't want a dog.

now on facebook she's clearly gone and got one, which i find duplicitous to say the least, encouraging all and sundry around the family to saw aww, and make him the bad guy if he comes home and makes a fuss.

i'd have thought that the addition of a cat or dog to the household was one that required both to be happy with the arrangement, although admittedly mrs alec got our first cat as a surprise, but she knew i had a love of cats and that i wouldn't mind (it was more to do with the fact that the lease on the flat we were in didn't allow them) i'd also never said i didn't want a cat, and we were but young. since then, any addition of cat, child, or even bicycle, has been at least agreed between the two principle adults in the house.

i'm also a little concerned for the dog's welfare; as afaik sis-in-law is soon off to london for two weeks to train as a 'life coach' #peepshowanyone, so how is a puppy going to cope with that (it's only 11 weeks old), not to mention having to cope with my bro-in-law returning?

i'm not a dog person, but not anti-dog; i have other friends that have added a dog to the family, and if that's what they want as a family, who am i to criticise?

your thoughts folks (don't let the thread descend into a cat lovers vs dog lovers bunfight)…
 

vernon

Harder than Ronnie Pickering
Location
Meanwood, Leeds
It's none of your business.
 

jonny jeez

Legendary Member
I don't understand. Surely if she has always said she wants one, she cant be duplicitous for fulfilling that desire...devious, unfair and potentially ill considered but not duplicitous
 

Edwardoka

Prolix Maximus
It's certainly a poor move. Canine emotional blackmail.

I guess the best is to hope that your bro-in-law realises that he wanted a dog after all otherwise it's going to end up badly for everyone, particularly pooch :sad:
 
OP
alecstilleyedye

alecstilleyedye

nothing in moderation
Moderator
on the plus side, he's just posted pictures of the tour down under (although not a cyclist himself), so he's still enjoying the holiday…

he was equally adamant they weren't moving from bramhall to lancashire "for at least two years", yet within six months they had moved. if he's happy being a doormat, fair do enough. he never moans…
 

shouldbeinbed

Rollin' along
Location
Manchester way
^^^^^ +1 @Edwardoka. my first concern is for the dogs emotional wellbeing.

The poor thing has been brought into a situation where it may begin to bond with people and then be uprooted back to breeder or into rescue through no fault of its own.

If as presented & hubby really doesn't want a dog but wife has got one anyway then she has behaved disgracefully in putting the poor uncomprehending hound into the middle of his & her unresolved disagreement as if it is some sort of inert toy.
 

Ganymede

Veteran
Location
Rural Kent
I presume he hasn't seen her FB postings then? If my OH did that to me, I would be incandescently furious. As he would if I did it. I'm not sure you can do anything about it though - unless you offer to look after the pup during the peepshow life coach training fortnight. I would just brace yourself for being a stout shoulder for your bro-in-law to cry on.

When we were much younger I wanted to get a cat. OH was unsure but I persuaded him and he came with me to get the cat and was fully engaged in the situation. He was less pleased when I unexpectedly got a job a couple of months later which involved me being away for 2 months abroad, and he was the one who had to go out and get the cat out of the tree she used to persist in getting stuck in (sorry hon). However if he had held out against the idea I would have foregone the cat. As it was, the clincher really was that a cat could look after itself while we were out of the house, given a catflap, food and water - and we only had to make arrangements if going away for more than a night or two (we live in the country in a very safe place for cats). He grew to love her! But a dog.... dear me no no no no no no no. A life-changing event.
 
OP
alecstilleyedye

alecstilleyedye

nothing in moderation
Moderator
he has seen the posts. his reply was an eloquent "wtf".

i assume they're still speaking though, as the facebook chat on his photos from oz seems pleasant enough, although the elephant in the room seems to go unmentioned…

we bought new sofas at the weekend; they'll have to do the same before long with an insecure, unhappy puppy about the place…
 
Top Bottom