duplicity, or am i over reacting?

[threebikesmcginty]

You never mentioned that she'd got one of them as well. Poor man.

So long as it wasn't an Indian elephant, they're rubbish.

 

[SpokeyDokey]

my bro-in-law (wife's brother) has gone to australia for a couple of weeks with his parents. his wife has been on about getting a dog, a point over which he's always said no (they can't have kids, why limit the freedom that gives them by adding a dog). they had two cats until recently, but they both died after a decent innings each. as recently as a week ago, he was adamant he didn't want a dog.

now on facebook she's clearly gone and got one, which i find duplicitous to say the least, encouraging all and sundry around the family to saw aww, and make him the bad guy if he comes home and makes a fuss.

i'd have thought that the addition of a cat or dog to the household was one that required both to be happy with the arrangement, although admittedly mrs alec got our first cat as a surprise, but she knew i had a love of cats and that i wouldn't mind (it was more to do with the fact that the lease on the flat we were in didn't allow them) i'd also never said i didn't want a cat, and we were but young. since then, any addition of cat, child, or even bicycle, has been at least agreed between the two principle adults in the house.

i'm also a little concerned for the dog's welfare; as afaik sis-in-law is soon off to london for two weeks to train as a 'life coach' #peepshowanyone, so how is a puppy going to cope with that (it's only 11 weeks old), not to mention having to cope with my bro-in-law returning?

i'm not a dog person, but not anti-dog; i have other friends that have added a dog to the family, and if that's what they want as a family, who am i to criticise?

your thoughts folks (don't let the thread descend into a cat lovers vs dog lovers bunfight)…

Well, if that was me, on future trips abroad I'd leave her behind and stick her in the Kennels with the dog.

 

[Drago]

Let them get on with it. We should spend less time being concerned what others are doing with their lives and pay some more attention to our own instead.

 

[Mrs M]

Not fair on the wee pup. Hope he likes the little one and everything is ok.

 

[shouldbeinbed]

Let them get on with it. We should spend less time being concerned what others are doing with their lives and pay some more attention to our own instead.

if it was a new washing machine and they'd disagreed on wether the colour goes with the kitchen then bang on, nobody's concern but theirs and everyone else can butt out, but a dog is a living breathing emotionally capable creature that has potentially been put in a situation where it is going to suffer mentally at least through someone else's selfish actions. Hopefully the thoughts and opinions expressed here will assist @alecstilleyedye in picking a way through that puts the dogs welfare at the heart of any fallout as they all seem close and could well get intertwined.

would you be advocating walk on by if we were discussing her physically abusing a dog or if he comes home and starts thumping 7 bells out of her & it for going behind his back?

 

[PaulSB]

Never a good idea to interfere in other people's marriage

The lady doesn't seem to appreciate marriage is about partnership and agreement.

If it's a strong relationship they should be able to reach a compromise but I bet it's always "your bloody dog"

I pity the poor dog.

 

[vernon]

would you be advocating walk on by if we were discussing her physically abusing a dog or if he comes home and starts thumping 7 bells out of her & it for going behind his back?

The dog isn't being abused neither is his sister. We can all become pre-occupied with the what if's of other people's lives to the detriment of our own.

Triage one's concerns and life becomes much less stressful. The scenario posted doesn't generate a flicker of concern on my part nor would it had it been my imaginary sister with my imaginary brother-in-law and an imaginary puppy.

 

[Deleted member 26715]

we bought new sofas at the weekend; they'll have to do the same before long with an insecure, unhappy puppy about the place…

This is totally irrational, it appears there is something you are not telling, it seems strange that you are getting so upset about something that on the surface has nothing to do with you

 

[Piemaster]

My wife and children have a cat. It and I tolerate each other.
It arrived while I was away at work for a month, I wasn't consulted but my Father was as he was going to give the answer my wife wanted, 'get it'.
8 years later we're still married and I still don't want the cat and have as little as possible to do with as I can. I can't see the point of it but realise I'm outnumbered 3-1 on the matter.

 

[jefmcg]

they can't have kids

This is why you should stay out of it.Who knows how deeply upsetting this is to her, and the desire to have children is pretty basic - lizard brain stuff. Its possible her need to have a dog trumps his need not to have a dog.

 

[shouldbeinbed]

Jings, Hyperbole overload or what? stressed, pre-occupied, detriment of ones own life?? Steady on, its only the internet on a cold wet Sunday when I'm not working, dinner is bubbling away happily to itself, the kids are quiet, the dogs are walked, the chickens are scratching around in the mud bath that used to be a garden, all of the ironing is done and the bikes got their TLC yesterday.

The dog isn't being abused neither is his sister. We can all become pre-occupied with the what if's of other people's lives to the detriment of our own.

Where do I say they are?

Triage one's concerns and life becomes much less stressful. The scenario posted doesn't generate a flicker of concern on my part nor would it had it been my imaginary sister with my imaginary brother-in-law and an imaginary puppy.

Yet here you are looking in again on a thread you'd already dismissed as no concern to you and commenting on a post that wasn't even flagged up into your alert stream.

 

[vernon]

Where do I say they are?

You didn't say they were, you introduced a 'what if' scenario.

would you be advocating walk on by if we were discussing her physically abusing a dog or if he comes home and starts thumping 7 bells out of her & it for going behind his back?

which was addressed by

The dog isn't being abused neither is his sister. We can all become pre-occupied with the what if's of other people's lives to the detriment of our own.

Yet here you are looking in again on a thread you'd already dismissed as no concern to you and commenting on a post that wasn't even flagged up into your alert stream.

Oh so I need your permission to participate in a thread? I don't think i'll seek it and post anyway.

It's a free world. I've addressed a point that you've raised and I'm offering an opinion that's different to yours.

Tell me how to see what other folk flag up in their alert streams. I'd like to have a look at yours.

 

[User6179]

This is totally irrational, it appears there is something you are not telling, it seems strange that you are getting so upset about something that on the surface has nothing to do with you

He is having an affair with the sister in-law but he has an allergy to dogs so is far from happy !

 

[Edwardoka]

He is having an affair with the sister in-law but he has an allergy to dogs so is far from happy !

Allegedly*

 

[Drago]

would you be advocating walk on by if we were discussing her physically abusing a dog or if he comes home and starts thumping 7 bells out of her & it for going behind his back?

You're asking me to speculate about a situation that isn't taking place and how I might react to that imaginary situation? Sorry, but this thread is about actual events, and your comment therefore utterly pointless. You may as well ask me how I'd have respond to fairies in the garden.

The situation as presented, let them get on with it. I wouldn't want someone noseying in to my lawful activities, and I'm not about to start doing it to others. Is your life that shallow and unfulfilled that you have to stick your snout into someone else's?