Email guessing game..

[domtyler]

Not a lot on this morning so have come up with an idea for a little game. Just post a snippet of an obscure work related email and then others have to guess what it is related to.

Here is my first effort:

"Hi,

As far as I am aware there are two main issues outstanding for the UK intelliTRACS instance.

TD#392->Swift environment is not available to perform interbranch swift testing
TD#386->Tier movements is not happening for UK instance.

TD395: If QA Support are not responsible to resolve TD392, then who is?
TD386: Providing all agents are up and running this needs to be investigated by the knowledgebase team.

Can you please assist?"

Who will rise to the challenge?

 

[cisamcgu]

Errr - something about automated real-time payment checking ?

How about
consistent read failure; rollback data not available
preceding line from TOPAZ@PIGEON
preceding 2 lines from HERCULES UCAS please fix

 

[domtyler]

Not bad cisamcgu, it is about testing an automated trade settlement system.

I would guess that you are investigating some type of storage issue and are reading a log file that is generated via smtp.

 

[cisamcgu]

Pretty close, - they are Oracle database errors generated from a remote connection to the UCAS database. But yes, they may well be storage related

 

[Arch]

Here's mine, came in this morning...

"Bug cleaning, meaning dermestids or sowbugs -- all major museums have a
dermestid colony. There is an art to maintaining these bugs, and they
definitely have their own likes and dislikes as to what they will chew on.
For example, they hate shrews. But dermestids will do things that nothing
else will -- as for example if you have a 30,000 pound whale to reduce --
that's a mite too big for the 50-gallon drums we normally use, and rather
hard to cover with manure. Also, if you are working with very small stuff,
such as birds or rodents, and you do not want the carpus and tarsus to fall
apart, dermestids do not eat tough ligament so what you get when the process
is done is the little paws or other small parts still held together by dried
ligament. Dermestid colonies do stink, and they of course being live animals
produce poop that has to be disposed of (I believe it makes good fungus
fertilizer, actually). Plus you have to maintain the bugs at a certain
temperature and humidity, which requires a building at least the size of a
garden shed which again has to have a concrete floor."

 

[Tetedelacourse]

One from my inbox:

Morning all. I would like to remind all of those who use the access gate to the rear of the building that it must be closed behind them as this obviously causes issues with unauthorised use and so forth.

Thanks for your co-operation.

 

[barq]

I don't know that its strictly work related, but this just arrived:

MANAGING PARTNER
P.G. NEWMAN & SOLICITORS
415 ROYAL LIVER BUILDING,
PIER HEAD, LIVERPOOL L3 1LL, ENGLAND.

Re: NOTIFICATION OF BEQUEST

On behalf of the Trustees and Executor of the estate of Late Engr. Reinhard Hermann,I wish to notify you that Late Engr. Reinhard Hermann made you a beneficiary to his WILL.
He left the sum of seven million five hundred thousand United States Dollars ($7,500.000.00 USD)to you in the codicil and last testament to his WILL.This may sound strange and unbelievable to you,but it is real and true. Being a widely travelled man, he must have been in contact with you in the past or simply you were recommended to him by one of his numerous friends abroad who wished you good.

 

[Arch]

So you get bugs to strip animals to the bone?

There are often people in KFC who would do a better job.

Bugs is one method, the others under discussion are maceration in water and burial in compost/manure. Apparently, different methods work better for some skellies than others...

I'd like to see a KFC customer tackle "a 30,000 pound whale"!

 

[Tetedelacourse]

Some of them walk in with one on their arm.