Embarrassing unplanned dismounts

[Dave7]

Worst/funniest one was coming down our cul-de-sac and turning into my drive at speed. I was wearing toe clips and as I turned the wheel it came up against the toe-clip and totally locked. I shot over the handle bars AND over the fence.......but I was still in the toe-clips. So there I was......me hanging down on one side of the fence while strapped into my bike on the other side.
Another was 2 years ago. This time in cleats. Coming off a cycle path across the supermarket car park. I tried to wiggle through the bollards but lost it........right in front of a bunch of 13/14 year old school girls. That was embarrassing.

 

[Matt1705]

A fee weeks ago I was using a quiet footpath that leads between some houses then a bridge over the dual carriageway. Path leading upto the bridge is fairly shaded but it was a sunny day so couldn't really see too well over the bridge so on the approach I slowed down in case there was somebody coming the other way. Next thing I know *bang*
I'd ridden straight into one of those stumpy concrete posts that stops people driving down these sorts of paths. Over the handlebars and landed on my shoulder.... quick check that the bike and myself were OK and carried on

Another time that sticks in my memory was when I was younger doing a paper round. I came round a corner on the pavement and there was a lady walking her dogs. She saw me and went to move out of the way, but I'd already started moving that way. We collided and ended up tangled up in the bush. Can't quite remember what happened immediately after, but it sparked a long running debate in the local paper about cyclists on pavements, the article that started it all being titled 'Menace to society'

 

[s7ephanie]

showing off with my granddaughter by riding through a little stream then falling straight into the ditch that was filled with stinging nettles. I was wearing shorts and T shirt at the time !

 

[Mrs M]

Last "off" was quite spectacular.
Out on my mountain bike a few years ago and disappeared into what I thought was a grass verge but really a roadside ditch .
Myself and bike upside down with my right foot up beside my right ear.
I was hysterical (with laughter) but hubby though I'd broken my leg. Couldn't get out of the chest high ditch for laughing. When hub realised I wasn't injured he got a bit stroppy and ordered me out of the ditch. Made matters worse but I finally clawed my way out.
Had landed on some raspberry bushes and had a purple backside from where I'd squished them .

 

[Shut Up Legs]

We've all had them, times you have come off your bike in frankly embarrassing situations, this is the thread to confess all:
Here is mine, a few years back I had been commuting to work on a batted old MTB, on which the brakes were slowly dropping to pierces. Not being much of a fettler I left it go until the bike was practically unrideable, when I thought I better take it to the bike shop and get it fixed. Riding it back on a cycle route I has ridden 100s of times I came up to a kink in the path followed by a wooden bridge which can get very slippery. As a precaution I applied a dab on the brakes, which my muscle memory had translated as brakes full on, especially the front. The result - an undignified dismount over the handle bars, 5 stiches in my top lip and a broken tooth. Not a car, bike or pedestrian in sight - all 100% my own stupidity.

If there were no witnesses, then it never happened.

Of course, now you've posted it in CC for posterity, it definitely happened!

 

[Shut Up Legs]

My first (and last) "clip-stack" was when I arrived at work one morning, rolled up to the start of our secure bike cage, just as a security staffmember was walking up to it, slowed down, then unexpectedly had trouble unclipping. Down I went, with complete lack of dignity. The security guy said nothing, and never even changed his expression. Not surprising, really: all they do is walk up to the bike cage, swipe a card on a magnetic sensor, then walk away. Half the bikes in the cage could have been vandalised since their last visit, and they'd never notice.

 

[Kestevan]

Stopped at the lights on a slight gradient (up). Lights changes, and I stood up and stomped on the pedals to set off.
Chain snapped, pedals spun round and my "gentlemans area" came into sudden high speed conflict with the top tube.

Needless to say the top-tube won the contest, and I ended up in ball of pain curled up on the floor whilst still attached to the pedals. Poor woman in the car behind me didn't know whether to offer help or piss herself laughing........

 

[davefb]

I think my 'funniest' was on the liverpool-chester-liverpool . on the way back , rolls into a coffee/cake stop at a rugby club.
slows down , unclips......... I've leant the wrong way and fall over. In front of what feels like a hundred people .......
FAR TOO MANY young people come over to help, bit fiddly getting my foot out and so the main thing hurt was my pride

 

[Matt1705]

Stopped at the lights on a slight gradient (up). Lights changes, and I stood up and stomped on the pedals to set off.
Chain snapped, pedals spun round and my "gentlemans area" came into sudden high speed conflict with the top tube.

Needless to say the top-tube won the contest, and I ended up in ball of pain curled up on the floor whilst still attached to the pedals. Poor woman in the car behind me didn't know whether to offer help or piss herself laughing........

Similar thing happened to me too when I was setting off from a junction. Hurt like hell!!

Had to phone the wife for a lift, she seemed to find it much more amusing than I did

 

[simon the viking]

Mine was bumping up a lowered kerb to get out the way of an ambulance as there was loads of oncoming traffic...... the kerb wasn't as low as I anticipated.... and the ambulance slowed down to see if I was okay,..... some irony there...

 

[kiriyama]

On a steepish hill near home that can get quite congested at rush hour... I'd been the long way home and put in some serious efforts on the way so was a little worn out. ... Near the top of the hill the traffic came to a stop so I slowed and unclipped. When the traffic started moving I clipped in and started peddling, half a second later the car infront stalled.... I couldn't unclip in time seemed to have lost all strength in my leg, fell on my arse to my right and my water bottle rolled down the road.... A LOT of witnesses. ... I just lay there laughing.

 

[Smokin Joe]

I saw some poor sod stop at a T junction in town a few years ago and when he put his foot down his cleat wouldn't grip on the tarmac and he did a spectacular set of splits before ending up on the deck. My words of "It's all right mate, I'm a cyclist" as I helped him up eased his embarrassment a little, though there were loads of other witnesses.

 

[shouldbeinbed]

Riding home from school with a girl I really fancied chatting and not looking where I was going I rode straight into the back of her dad's estate car. They were getting ready for a caravan weekend so boot open & I ended up sprawled half inside it & bike tangled up in my legs and his towbar with him calling me an idiot and her wetting herself laughing.
Never got anywhere with her after that.

 

[AFrightfulHobgoblin]

Left work and saw the traffic lights (less than 100m away) were at red. No problem, been through them so often I know the sequence inside out. Rolled up, as slowly as possible, timing my arrival for the green, feet positioned and muscles ready to push away as they changed. Unfortunately the car at the lights wasn't in on my plan and sat there at the green for just long enough that I had to stop. Couldnt make the change from ready to push off to stop quickly enough. Timber...
Didn't think anyone had seen me, but another cyclist pulled up by me at the next lights and asked if I was OK.

 

[Sixmile]

Coming down a busy stretch of tow path one Saturday morning I was carefully slowing and edging my way past every pedestrian, dog and fellow cyclist. On the way back I guess I was fed up edging my way along at a snails pace so decided on this one occasion to use the grass verge to get round a group walking 3 abreast across the path. Unknown to me under grassy covering, the verge had a massive hole, maybe drain or something. At a decent pace I hit the hole hard, the bike flipped, I did a full forward tumble, landing on my back, right in front of the people I was trying to pass. Whilst I was successful in gaining a few feet, after they stopped and helped me up they were back in the lead as I struggled back on my 'worse for wear' bike, now with a buckled front rim, a fractured rib and a bruised ego. Further up the path I had to get past them once again, this time much slower and with a wee 'sorry about that' wave on the way past.