Ever worked where you "just dont fit in"?

[PaulSecteur]

Just after christmas I started a new job, near enough from the start I felt I didnt fit in.

It always seems Im doing something wrong, or at least not the right way and a few of the poeple I need to get on with dont seem to get on with me. As I have been "the new chap" I havent wanted to rock the boat and I have bitten my tongue a few times, but its getting to a point where I wont be able to much longer.

The thing is Im worrying about not getting along and doing a good job, so Im not sleeping well (In fact, I have woken up dripping of sweat a few times), so Im tired at work and grouchy.

I sent my old boss an email and he is happy to have me back, so Im going to wuss out and go back.

Anyone else been here? Did you tough it out at the new place or wuss out like me?

 

[colly]

No but I have moved into a work environment where it was obvious one of the existing members of the team were seen to be to odd one out. I was only there for two weeks and I really felt for the bloke.
The rest of them had no problems with blanking him, running him down, taking an opposing position just for the sake of it, in fact anything to make his life hard.
I got on OK with him but because I did and didn't join in their crap I was also seen as 'not in the group' and I began to get similar treatment. I knew I would be away soon so it was no big deal but I would hate for it to be a permanent thing.
It seemed to me to stem from particularly obnoxious individual who was a nasty piece of work, cutting and spiteful in the extreme. The sort who make themselves feel good by making others feel bad. As such no one wanted to be on the wrong end of his vindictiveness. Therefore all the sheep just followed his lead. Keeping their heads down glad it wasn't them being picked on.

I did ask why he didn't leave and he just said ' I need the job'.

I've just remembered another incident in a different place where a new member of the office started to get some stick. A 100 decibel retort to what ever was said let everyone in the office know she wouldn't take any shoot. She never had any problems again.

 

[PaulSecteur]

Thanks for that Colly.

Im not being picked on, I just dont seem to get along and everyone else does. No-one is being eapecially nasty...I just dont get on.

 

[PaulSecteur]

Thanks Rocky.

Writing my notice letter is pretty hard.

 

[vernon]

I've been there.

Within two months of being told by the head teacher that i was the best ICT teacher that she'd seen, I became a pariah in the space of three months and was being lined up for competency proceedings. I lost sleep. Was regularly called into 'the office' for a Friday afternoon bollocking which ruined the weekends and I succumbed to stress and was off ill for the final half term or so.

My old school noted my applications for jobs and offered me a position which I accepted.

I subsequently discovered that the school had an awful record for stress related illness. One of the management team who victimised me subsequently became a headteacher and I found it satisfying to watch her career go down the pan when she was dismissed for incompetence.

Going back to familiar territory is a sound move. Regret nothing. You've protected your health and well being.

 

[accountantpete]

I think you are doing partly the right thing.

I went to work for a small partnership with a very unusual close-knit and dyed in the wool attitude. Most off the staff had started there and knew no different and I just couldn't settle.

However going back (again from experience) is never quite the same and I wouldn't advise it.

Good luck

 

[Fat B'stard]

I've had it once with my line manager from a previous employer. From day one he started being vindictive and trying to undermine me in front of customers and colleagues. I stuck it for 2 years then took them to tribunal.

 

[Red Light]

Thanks Rocky.

Writing my notice letter is pretty hard.

The best ones are short. No need to go into explanations or excuses or justifications. Just say its not working out as you expected, you are handing in your resignation with effect from [date] and thank them for giving you the opportunity. Three sentences max.

 

[Pat "5mph"]

Thanks Rocky.

Writing my notice letter is pretty hard.

In my experience going back to an "ex job" results in being taken for granted, as in "he/she's not made it elsewhere, so we'll take advantage a wee bit ....
Don't you remember why you left that job in the first place? Is the reason still valid? Maybe you're better off just looking for something else entirely.
Good luck in whatever you decide to do.

 

[gbb]

Paul, i know EXACTLY what you mean.
I'll give you a quick run down on my position...
Moved to new company, same industry (fruit packing), some of the same machinery, some new and more complex. Christ its been hard and ive got one manager on my case a lot of the time. Partly thats my fault, i goofed up with one of her jobs and caused her some stress...which she seems perfectly happy to reciprocate.
I'm on a 6 month temp contract with a view to permanent IF the customer contracts get signed..so i'm keen to do well. If i could just break through with this mare of a manager (though sometimes she's ok).
Because i'm still learning the machinery, it will improve with time (you only learn when they break down, then you're under pressure and they're on your back).
Time time time...how long will it take...the learning curve is going well, its constantly a challenge and ive thought many times ive had it, move on to something different, but then each week i will be more competent, see and solve more problems, be accepted more by others.

TBF, the maintenence crew i 'm attached to are brilliant although i dont work day to day with them, its this manager.
Biting your tongue ? sometimes i think its the worst thing you can do, i think people accept it if you sound off right from the start (assuming you're right in the first place) I know ive done it (bit my tongue) but then i'm a quiet person anyway.
No, i'm going to tough it out, ive had the odd sleepless night, deliberated several time whether i really need it, but then i think...time, it will come.

 

[swee'pea99]

Yup. My first 'proper' job. I got sacked.

 

[screenman]

32 jobs in 38 months seems I did not fit in any where, which is why I have run my own business since I first went self employed at the ripe old age of 19. I am now 56 and recognize that the job market is a lot different.

 

[biggs682]

yes about 12 years ago got head hunted for a job good pay and if i liked it i would have had to move after 3 months in the meantime they paid for lodgings and travel , but rest of team apart from manager of place made it real awkward so i did my 3 months and left the next day

 

[Red Light]

No, i'm going to tough it out, ive had the odd sleepless night, deliberated several time whether i really need it, but then i think...time, it will come.

Don't tough it out, sort it out. Take in some doughnuts, tell her you realise you goofed with the newness of it all and it caused her a lot of problems and the doughnuts are to say sorry. Tell her you are now starting to get on top of all the new machinery and processes but are worried your goof did not get you off to a good start and you'd like to clear the air. Doughnuts rarely fail IME and they are cheap enough not to be seen as any sort of bribe.

 

[smokeysmoo]

While the grass often looks greener, it still needs mowing.
Hope you get things sorted by what ever method you need to