Cycling Naturalist
Guru
- Location
- Llangollen
.............because I had the photo, which I sold for a lot more than the £400 originally offered.
False accusations.... Any advice?
- Thread starter funnymummy
- Start date
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.............because I had the photo, which I sold for a lot more than the £400 originally offered.
Globalti
Legendary Member
What a sad post this is.
My colleague in Nigeria comes back to the UK twice a year with his wife and two daughters and they are always amazed at the lengths people in the UK go to to avoid touching the kids, they will step off the pavement, skirt around them and generally avoid them, while in Nigeria people will come up an give them a cuddle and a pat on the cheek or whatever without fear of these stupid accusations.
Tragic.
My colleague in Nigeria comes back to the UK twice a year with his wife and two daughters and they are always amazed at the lengths people in the UK go to to avoid touching the kids, they will step off the pavement, skirt around them and generally avoid them, while in Nigeria people will come up an give them a cuddle and a pat on the cheek or whatever without fear of these stupid accusations.
Tragic.
fossyant
Ride It Like You Stole It!
- Location
- South Manchester
Aye it is, and it's another reason why it's so hard to get volunteers with children's activity groups - e.g. Scouts/Guides !
When I go to my daughter's school friends' parties I get mobbed by the kids because I'm the only dad who will get involved in physical play with them.
She's 7 and we have a whale of a time and I usually get beat-up, chased around (and then turn and growl and have them screaming and running away) - all good, clean, healthy fun - which we all thoroughly enjoy.
My wife gets nervous about it, but not once has anyone ever complained and I can see in the eyes of some of the other dads the urge to get involved, but they just don't seem able to break through the barrier and let themselves go - get on the floor and roll around have the kids dive on them and pull them around. Great fun and I'm always knackered afterwards (where the hell do 7 years olds get all their bloody energy from?!!!)
- And it is the dads BTW - no one bats an eyelid at mums getting involved!!!
I don't buy-in to all the peadophilic hyseria that's been whipped up by the media in the last 10 years or so - it's fun for goodness sake - a laugh -shouting, charging about, climbing and play-fighting and running around and chasing them like the big dad-monster; but then I suppose it would only take one accusation to put me on my guard - to make me think twice and to hold back - to, well, spoil it all for me (and the kids).
I'm not irresponsible and would respect any parent who asked me not to play with their kids (God how that phrase can be soooo misread in the current climate) - and I try to ensure the kids parents can see me and that I play with a group of kids together so that no parent worries I'm only wanting to play with their kid in particular (you see, it does have an impact and make me adjust my awareness) - but it’s sad how far some people take it and that it has lead to a cultural change where us adults have to be “careful” of not upsetting other adults, and not being tactile with other people’s kids.
The kids don't seem to give a stuff at all (they just want to play) – and I think it’s a real shame that some parents don’t feel like they can get involved.
I don't know what the answer is because every parent wants to protect their kids and if they're worried about it, they should be allowed to take whatever steps they feel they need to be comfortable and assured.
However, it’s a testament to how much it has pervaded that this thread exists at all. I would hope that somewhere in the near future people can feel a bit more comfortable and relaxed around other adults and their kids - not buy into the hysteria so much – and that the balance can swing the other way a little and kids get other adults back in their lives being tactile and fun.
Shaun
She's 7 and we have a whale of a time and I usually get beat-up, chased around (and then turn and growl and have them screaming and running away) - all good, clean, healthy fun - which we all thoroughly enjoy.
My wife gets nervous about it, but not once has anyone ever complained and I can see in the eyes of some of the other dads the urge to get involved, but they just don't seem able to break through the barrier and let themselves go - get on the floor and roll around have the kids dive on them and pull them around. Great fun and I'm always knackered afterwards (where the hell do 7 years olds get all their bloody energy from?!!!)
- And it is the dads BTW - no one bats an eyelid at mums getting involved!!!I don't buy-in to all the peadophilic hyseria that's been whipped up by the media in the last 10 years or so - it's fun for goodness sake - a laugh -shouting, charging about, climbing and play-fighting and running around and chasing them like the big dad-monster; but then I suppose it would only take one accusation to put me on my guard - to make me think twice and to hold back - to, well, spoil it all for me (and the kids).
I'm not irresponsible and would respect any parent who asked me not to play with their kids (God how that phrase can be soooo misread in the current climate) - and I try to ensure the kids parents can see me and that I play with a group of kids together so that no parent worries I'm only wanting to play with their kid in particular (you see, it does have an impact and make me adjust my awareness) - but it’s sad how far some people take it and that it has lead to a cultural change where us adults have to be “careful” of not upsetting other adults, and not being tactile with other people’s kids.
The kids don't seem to give a stuff at all (they just want to play) – and I think it’s a real shame that some parents don’t feel like they can get involved.
I don't know what the answer is because every parent wants to protect their kids and if they're worried about it, they should be allowed to take whatever steps they feel they need to be comfortable and assured.
However, it’s a testament to how much it has pervaded that this thread exists at all. I would hope that somewhere in the near future people can feel a bit more comfortable and relaxed around other adults and their kids - not buy into the hysteria so much – and that the balance can swing the other way a little and kids get other adults back in their lives being tactile and fun.
Shaun
Fnaar
Smutmaster General
- Location
- Thumberland
^^^ Good on you Admin, that's the kind of dad I've tried to be too... my kids are older now though, and I'm officially an embarrassment, so now usually have to content myself with cradling a beer at social occasions, but other people's nippers seem to make a beeline for me anyway...
But the photos were taken at another school, not where the OP was working, so the contract of employment wouldn't apply.
In any case, as others have said, the OP has done nothing wrong, and more to the point even if the "allegation" was true, she STILL would have done nothing wrong.
GM
Legendary Member
- Location
- North of the river
.............because I had the photo, which I sold for a lot more than the £400 originally offered.
No, it's safely in a family photo album and that's where it stays!!
Arch
Married to Night Train
- Location
- Salford, UK
When I go to my daughter's school friends' parties I get mobbed by the kids because I'm the only dad who will get involved in physical play with them.
She's 7 and we have a whale of a time and I usually get beat-up, chased around (and then turn and growl and have them screaming and running away) - all good, clean, healthy fun - which we all thoroughly enjoy.
My wife gets nervous about it, but not once has anyone ever complained and I can see in the eyes of some of the other dads the urge to get involved, but they just don't seem able to break through the barrier and let themselves go - get on the floor and roll around have the kids dive on them and pull them around. Great fun and I'm always knackered afterwards (where the hell do 7 years olds get all their bloody energy from?!!!)
Not being a parent, I don't know but... I wonder how much of the other Dads' reticence is to do with worries about being accused of something, and how much is embarrassment, or not quite knowing what to do? I know you well enough to know you're the sort who can play (which is entirely a compliment in my book), but a lot of grown ups, even those with kids, seem to have grown out of it. If they are Dads who are at work all day and don't see the kids all day, maybe they just don't have that ability to muck about, or the ability to cast aside 'adultness' and get on the floor.
Vapin' Joe
Formerly known as Smokin Joe
- Location
- Bare headed cyclist, Smoker
Nigeria obviously doesn't have an equivalent of the Sun or News of The World. The feeling of vulnerability gets to most of us, I will not go into a public toilet if I have seen anyone of school age go in before me. Stupid I know, but with all the paedo hysteria that has been planted in people's heads I wonder what people will think if I do.
Zoiders
New Member
- Location
- Ice Station Zebra
Going back to the OP.
You have committed no offence what so ever so tell the school and your accuser to get knotted.
You have committed no offence what so ever so tell the school and your accuser to get knotted.
Zoiders
New Member
- Location
- Ice Station Zebra
Being an offender or ex-offender does not in it's self preclude a person from working with children or vulnerable persons.
The idea that it does is a complete myth, I have worked with plenty of ex offenders that I would trust with a child, more so than some non offenders.
Cycling Naturalist
Guru
- Location
- Llangollen
[QUOTE 1461964"]
What confuses it all is when people panic, don't understand the issues, and don't possess the ability to think. And if anyone else tells me that they "take safeguarding very seriously" as an excuse for ridiculous unnecessary regulations.......
[/quote]
Very well put. What p*ss's me off is the unctuous, "We have to safeguard the children and comply with the regulations." Anyone who challenges this twaddle is accused of being happy to hand children over to paedophiles and being ignorant of regulations.
What confuses it all is when people panic, don't understand the issues, and don't possess the ability to think. And if anyone else tells me that they "take safeguarding very seriously" as an excuse for ridiculous unnecessary regulations.......
[/quote]
Very well put. What p*ss's me off is the unctuous, "We have to safeguard the children and comply with the regulations." Anyone who challenges this twaddle is accused of being happy to hand children over to paedophiles and being ignorant of regulations.
...nor did it.
PBancroft
Senior Member
- Location
- Winchester
I think you're right. The media hasn't really combated pedophilia in a balanced way which has fed a lot of peoples fears.
A friend of mine is a photographer and a few years ago was in a park taking close up photos of ducks. He'd been there for just a few minutes when he heard a woman say in hushed tones behind him: "Don't go near that man, darling. He's a pedophile!" Naturally he turned around to look, and was a bit shocked to find the woman was pointing him out, and gave him a very nasty look before whisking her child away.
Back to the OP, I suspect that you've heard the rumour from someone - so tell them its baseless, and let the word spread. Naturally talk to the head teacher as well. I do wonder if the accuser is mistaking you for someone else - someone who has been taking photos and posting them (potentially quite innocently) but is accusing you in error. Just a possibility - another reason why you should request for the Head to arrange a meeting between you.
