Thank's for the replies,i've read them all. I won't say much for now as i've kind of put our problems on the back burner.... till the next time. My wife has a hospital appointment in the morning. I'm running her there and staying with her,if she'll let me. I still have feelings for her,even if? she is seeing someone else. I'll leave it at that for the time being.
You have lots of options, you need to actual do one of them that is productive, ignoring it, as you put until the next time, will, when you eventually put your big boy pants on and move forward in your life, really annoy you that you wasted so much precious time in "ignoring" mode. IF you end up happily together you will have wasted precious time you could have been happy and vice versa if you break up.
I understand you are not ready, I understand you don't want to face it, but I have just "ignored it" for a good 3 years until the switch clicked in my head, until it didn't hurt, until I didn't care, until I was numb, it is not a good move. Yes we talked, we had big discussions, I explained, ranted, cried, he did the same and then carried on regardless many many times. Then an event happened and the switch finally clicked off in my brain from the love to don't love. The like had already gone, the care had already gone, all the other emotions had gone and then the love went. It was a simple break up in terms of material items and for me even simpler in terms of emotions towards him. The only emotion left in that direction was sadness, sadness that it had not worked in the simplest of terms.
The sense of relief was so overwhelming though and my stress levels disappeared. For several weeks it felt like I had forgotten something as there was a big hole in my head, I realised what I was missing that I had lived with for so long was stress, angst, worry, dread about what next, what now.
I am not an extravert, I am not a person with a milllion acquaintances, I am not one of the Mothers that gets invited to the Mum get togethers, I am a shy person and have few friends but the friends I have are very close and very long term, sometimes I get brave and push myself into situations I am not entirely comfortable with, but, it was when one of my frineds was roaring with laughter on the phone after a panicked conversation from me about going out in London with her said "you are back, it's you I have missed you" I realised how much I had been existing, not living, going through the motions for the children, caring and doing for everybody and anybody but myself and putting things in boxes I did not want to deal with and placing them in the dark recesses of my mind because I was not able/ready/willing to deal with them.
My biggest regret is not dealing with them & the situation sooner.
