Friday funny,well a bit funny anyway.

ChrisW

Senior Member
NEVER SAY TO A COP

1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
3.Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!
5. Are You Andy or Barney?
6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
8. I pay your salary!
9. Gee, officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!
10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.
12. When the Officer says "Gee. Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with,"Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"
 

alecstilleyedye

nothing in moderation
Moderator
any chance of some british humour please :biggrin:
 

Fnaar

Smutmaster General
Location
Thumberland
How many ardent feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Five: one to change the bulb, and four to discuss the passive role of the socket. :biggrin:
livingwithlesbians.jpg
 
OP
ChrisW

ChrisW

Senior Member
alecstilleyedye said:
any chance of some british humour please :biggrin:
OK, you asked for it...a Basil Brush joke!

What did the inflatable teacher say to the inflatable pupil at the inflatable school after she caught him with a pin? You’ve let me down, you’ve let yourself down and you’ve let the whole school down! Ha ha ha! BOOM! BOOM!

Or Tommy Cooper;

Two blondes walked into a building. Funny you owuld have thought that one of them would have seen it.
 

tonyhgv

New Member
Location
harlow,essex
a bride on her wedding night says to her husband ..i have a confession ! in my former life i was a hooker! ...the husband says we are married now so there can be no secrets between us and anyway i find it a bit erotic ..tell me more....the bride says...my name was nigel and i played for wigan!!!!!
 

tonyhgv

New Member
Location
harlow,essex
i went thru the cemetery the other day and there were 4 men running around with a coffin, about an hour later i came back the same way and they were still running round with the coffin..i thought fu..ing hell they`ve lost the plot!
 
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