Friday funny,well a bit funny anyway.

[ChrisW]

NEVER SAY TO A COP

1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
3.Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!
5. Are You Andy or Barney?
6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
8. I pay your salary!
9. Gee, officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!
10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.
12. When the Officer says "Gee. Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with,"Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"

 

[alecstilleyedye]

any chance of some british humour please

 

[lardarse rider]

How many dull people does it take to change a lightbulb?

One!

 

[Fnaar]

How many ardent feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Five: one to change the bulb, and four to discuss the passive role of the socket.

 

[thejonesy]

How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two, but they have to be very small mice.

 

[alecstilleyedye]

How many ardent feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Five: one to change the bulb, and four to discuss the passive role of the socket.

is dobkin a euphamism for something?

 

[Fnaar]

Probably! Sounds a bit like 'dunking'. Got the piv from www.badalbumcovers.com, which gives hours of amusement!

 

[lardarse rider]

I think Alix Dobkin has A Master of Education (ME).

 

[ChrisW]

any chance of some british humour please

OK, you asked for it...a Basil Brush joke!

What did the inflatable teacher say to the inflatable pupil at the inflatable school after she caught him with a pin? You’ve let me down, you’ve let yourself down and you’ve let the whole school down! Ha ha ha! BOOM! BOOM!

Or Tommy Cooper;

Two blondes walked into a building. Funny you owuld have thought that one of them would have seen it.

 

[LordoftheTeapot]

 

[betty swollocks]

Q: Why does it take two surreallist artists to change a lightbulb?
A: A fish.

 

[ChrisW]

Careful, you'll spill your tea if you laugh too hard...

 

[tonyhgv]

a bride on her wedding night says to her husband ..i have a confession ! in my former life i was a hooker! ...the husband says we are married now so there can be no secrets between us and anyway i find it a bit erotic ..tell me more....the bride says...my name was nigel and i played for wigan!!!!!

 

[tonyhgv]

i went thru the cemetery the other day and there were 4 men running around with a coffin, about an hour later i came back the same way and they were still running round with the coffin..i thought fu..ing hell they`ve lost the plot!

 

[tonyhgv]

paddy phones easy -jet to book a flight, the booking clerk says how many flying with you? paddy says how the fu.k do i know its your plane