FNRttC Friday Night Ride to the Coast - Southend-on-Sea May 4th

[Mice]

Nice ride. And just about the best people to ride with including some not seen for a bit: Sgt. Pluck, JT and his Peterborough chums, Charlotte & Julian and 'Teef. All the rest of you are lovely too, of course.

Sorry we got lost, but the promise of the Splash n Dash was too great, so the Pino pulled in for a pee. And when we got out the roads were empty, so in true bloke style I ploughed on regardless, stopping to phone for instructions only when the insistent demands got too great. We took a turn round the Romford one way system and missed the excitement of the rozzers chasing the villains. Ah well.

Top entertainment in Brentwood was given by the Bright Young Things tottering around on their highest of heels. Or as 'Teef would have it, Tottery. The road to Stock was more or less as I remembered, although some of it had the cheek to go up hill. Marvellous cakes and rolls and bargainicous prices then out into the dawn, delayed only by TimO fixing his second puncture in as many rides.

That long downhill bit near Els' witch tree. That was good. Really good. User10571 was stretching his legs and thanks to Newton and Gallileo we freewheeled past him. All over too soon, and brekko. Then off into the rain for some groupsave goodness, but not before I'd made Mice collapse in her chair by saying we were going camping. Which we did.

A couple of pics here.

Your pics are fantastic. Mark Grant is so right about mine. I cycled past you as you were taking the sunrise shot and knew it would be spectacular - you didnt disappoint, it is stunning. Out of politeness (and absolutely nothing else) I hope you had a good time c c c no - sorry, cant type it, covered in tarpaulin/nylon, weekend away!

Mice

 

[velovoice]

This may well be my favourite FNR route. (I like Felpham and Whitstable but each does have a stretch that drains the will to live... the A217? Bah!)

But every mile of this new route to Southend is a joy. Some standout moments for me were -

- weaving out of London past Buckingham Palace, round Parliament Square, up Embankment then swooping like birds through gritty grotty East London.

- cop show scenes in Romford: broken glass... shouting and shoving (locals, not us!)... cops running down the middle of the street four abreast… police helicopter circling overhead... police van careering down the street and screeching to a stop right in front of us (busted?!)... cops dashing down alleys hot in pursuit of miscreants unknown suspected of crimes unknown

- Olaf's new Moulton

- TimO's affair with the p*ncture fairy

- the Tully family serving up home-made smiles, sandwiches, cake and gorgeous hot tea

- following a mile long ribbon of flashing red tail lights flickering through the trees

- country lanes all to ourselves due to road closures

- a flooded ford!

- a footpath/bridge slippery with mud, at the end of which I found myself slowly tipping sideways - holding the bike! - mishap narrowly avoided as I somehow had the wherewithal to drop the bike (gently onto grass as it happened) and right myself and then pick the bike up again. Don't know if this was the result of inner ear trouble again, a bit of tunnel vision or depth perception problem (my current glasses prescripion is something of a compromise in an effort to avoid getting varifocals just yet)... anyway, glad I went to the right and not to the left!

- birdsong before dawn

- the Most SPECTACULAR sunrise!! (I was just behind Tim & Anne when they pulled over and knew we could count on Tim to do it justice!)

- rough paths and cobblestones along the estuary

- thousands of small boats slumped drunkenly in the mud at low tide

- AnythingButVanilla's triumphant completion of her first FNR… on her beautiful new road bike… pulling herself up all the hills on sheer guts and determination without any suspicion that she had a granny gear (or what it was for!)... get that girl a drink!!

- warm welcome at The Rose Café. And then the heavens opened…

- seeing my friends Carol and Ted who live in Southend and popped round to see us before they drove to Swansea

- train back to the Big Smoke in great company

- beers called Slag!

- giddy sleep-deprivation-induced hilarity at LMNH.

Won't make Whitstable, Manchester or indeed the next Southend run, but the memories from this one will keep me going til the next one.

Many thanks again to DZ for a superb night out.

 

[TimO]

Whilst I like the new Southend route more than the older (now long abandoned) one, there are still stretches whilst getting out of London proper, where the road has a lot of parked cars, isn't terribly wide, and has quite a lot of traffic for that time of night.

This isn't dellzeqq's fault, there's little option going in that direction, or I'm sure he'd take it, but rides going southward seem to get away from the busy stuff a little more rapidly. The much earlier route, via the Dartford crossing was preferable, excepting the crossing itself, which turned out to be impractically uselessly organised, by those who should be more capable (not dellzeqq, those who run the crossing itself).

I don't intend to keep the fairy occupied, and I'm not sure what I've done to annoy her, but that specific item will shortly be placed in a pile destined for Arch's tyre recycling project, which may go some way towards placating her. Is there anything else I should sacrifice, or some sort of tyre annoyance ritual dance, involving jumping up and down shouting "Bugger, dangnabit, flaming Conti tyres, etc ..." I should undertake?

 

[Flying Dodo]

I don't intend to keep the fairy occupied, and I'm not sure what I've done to annoy her, but that specific item will shortly be placed in a pile destined for Arch's tyre recycling project, which may go some way towards placating her. Is there anything else I should sacrifice, or some sort of tyre annoyance ritual dance, involving jumping up and down shouting "Bugger, dangnabit, flaming Conti tyres, etc ..." I should undertake?

Only let designated TEC's mend your tyres.

 

[Aperitif]

Whilst I like the new Southend route more than the older (now long abandoned) one, there are still stretches whilst getting out of London proper, where the road has a lot of parked cars, isn't terribly wide, and has quite a lot of traffic for that time of night.

This isn't dellzeqq's fault, there's little option going in that direction, or I'm sure he'd take it, but rides going southward seem to get away from the busy stuff a little more rapidly. The much earlier route, via the Dartford crossing was preferable, excepting the crossing itself, which turned out to be impractically uselessly organised, by those who should be more capable (not dellzeqq, those who run the crossing itself).

I don't intend to keep the fairy occupied, and I'm not sure what I've done to annoy her, but that specific item will shortly be placed in a pile destined for Arch's tyre recycling project, which may go some way towards placating her. Is there anything else I should sacrifice, or some sort of tyre annoyance ritual dance, involving jumping up and down shouting "Bugger, dangnabit, flaming Conti tyres, etc ..." I should undertake?

You do know it is the Feline Fairy that is causing you bother. Give the cats their yum-yums on time and don't go hanging around with all the jellymeat whiskers in LMNH. The mobile phone operated feeding bowl is the way to go...and get a pair of Durano Plus'

 

[TimO]

I just weighed the Tail bag, and sorted out bits of contents that had been removed or added to (I've got two more tyres and a CO2 cartridge that I didn't start out with), and the weight on the carrier was a smidgen under 6kg.

On their website, Arkel say:

Caution - Maximum Load:
We state a maximum load of 6 kg (13 lbs). The actual maximum load will be dictated more by the particulars of your bike than the actual capacity of the Randonneur Rack™, which can withstand more than the stated maximum load. ...

The bag was a bit heavier this time, than it normally is, because I was carrying more spare clothes than I generally do (since I was fairly confidently expecting rain!) So, I think an email to Arkel, with a photo of the failed rack, is in order. If nothing else, it'll maybe help them improve the racks in future.

 

[StuAff]

You do know it is the Feline Fairy that is causing you bother. Give the cats their yum-yums on time and don't go hanging around with all the jellymeat whiskers in LMNH. The mobile phone operated feeding bowl is the way to go...and get a pair of Durano Plus'

Indeed.

 

[Aperitif]

Indeed.

Ordinary ones though, Tim - not the ones with gills unless you have a penchant for making waves... Tough luck that you didn't have time deploy the inflatable dinghy, Stu - is it still in your rucksack?

 

[Aperitif]

I just weighed the Tail bag, and sorted out bits of contents that had been removed or added to (I've got two more tyres and a CO2 cartridge that I didn't start out with), and the weight on the carrier was a smidgen under 6kg.

On their website, Arkel say:
The bag was a bit heavier this time, than it normally is, because I was carrying more spare clothes than I generally do (since I was fairly confidently expecting rain!) So, I think an email to Arkel, with a photo of the failed rack, is in order. If nothing else, it'll maybe help them improve the racks in future.

Couldn't you give them a couple of pages of vaguely relevant G-Force data - they'll probably be wrapping a new rack by the middle of page one! You can't help riding that fast, tell them! If you are told to 'rack off', well, you are also halfway there!

 

[StuAff]

Ordinary ones though, Tim - not the ones with gills unless you have a penchant for making waves... Tough luck that you didn't have time deploy the inflatable dinghy, Stu - is it still in your rucksack?

No, it was Marathon Aquatics
Dinghy? Nope, might have a coracle in there but it'll probably be in the annex. Couldn't find it in time.....

 

[dellzeqq]

Susie and I rode the 'old' Southend route this morning. By which I mean the second Southend route, which is to say not the one that goes south of the river and through the Dartford Tunnel (a cool idea ruined by muppets) but the one that runs up to Stratford, across to Goodmayes and Dagenham East, in to Junction 31 services, and then on to East Tilbury, Fobbing, Pitsea and Tattershall Gardens. And, as we rolled past Barking Town Hall Susie yelled 'I love this route'. As well she might, it being the way of her first ride to the seaside, her first night ride, and her first shared hedge-stop.

I love it too. Dagenham East is mega, the view over Tilbury is sublime, and East Tilbury a jewel. All it takes is for Geoff Tully to take a night off, and I'll drag you all down the A1306 without a hint of an apology.

I looked forward to last Friday night with a mix of joy and trepidation. Joy, because the recce ride with Rob was such fun, and trepidation because if, dread word, if the floodwaters had deepened I knew we'd be in difficulties. In the event the tide had gone out, the rush of water across the roads had turned to puddles - substantial puddles, but puddles nonetheless - and the water in the ford was a foot shallower and not threatening to tear the footbridge out of the ground.

So...all was well. We arrived at Stock two minutes behind time, and at the Rose Restaurant one minute ahead of time, (and a bare ten minutes ahead of the rain). The sunrise was an unexpected bonus, and the wind, which was timid up until we crossed the A130, freshened behind us when we turned south on to the old turnpike down to Battlesbridge.

Still and all - there was one moment of miserable realisation. I don't often think of the six years on the farm, but Julian's insight in to the unimaginably perverse world of immigration law had me rocking on my heels. Thirtyfour years ago, I and the first Mrs DZ came to this country. I got a job on a farm at, if memory serves, £48.50 a week. The two girls were raised on the farm. These days that kind of career won't get your intended spouse in to the country. So, the people who drove the tractors that broke up the soil, sowed the seed, and, will, later in the year, harvest the crops on those Essex fields so wonderfully lit up by the sunrise, don't get to choose who they're with. It is, as they say, a funny old world.

Great write-ups and great pictures. And a great ride, with people looking after the tail-enders, people waiting uncomplainingly at junctions, and people starting conversations with newcomers. I've got an inbox full of happy reminiscence from new riders and an e-mail from someone who met someone at Victoria and was sufficiently enthused to send a cheque for CTC membership....thankyou one and all. It was fab.

 

[User10571]

..... All it takes is for Geoff Tully to take a night off, and I'll drag you all down the A1306 without a hint of an apology........

In a perverse way, I'd not be sorry.
As for Barking Town Hall - I miss it.

Lovely beyond words though, the Stock route is.

 

[Aperitif]

One item that I saw out of stock, in passing...

 

[rb58]

Beat ice cream in the world..... Ross' Peculiar Vanilla... Food of champions (and me)

 

[User10571]

It's the 'peculiar people'
Wassat all about?