Friday's quickies.

[ACS]

2 fish swim in to a wall and one says "Damm"

 

[Dayvo]

Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.

 

[4F]

What's brown and sticky ? ...............a Stick

 

[PaulB]

Not saying our local is a rough place but I went to the pub quiz last night and the first question was "What the f**k are you looking at?"

 

[bonj2]

esp. @ PaulB & Dayvo

 

[threebikesmcginty]

Not saying our local is a rough place but I went to the pub quiz last night and the first question was "What the f**k are you looking at?"

 

[Dayvo]

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

 

[4F]

I got chucked out of the pub quiz team last night. Apparently Roy was not the right answer to which castle suffered smoke damage in the 90's

 

[Dayvo]

Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.

 

[Cubist]

Didn't realise just how rough this neighbourhood was until I learnt that the guy next door was arrested for possessing a chewed off shotgun.

 

[Dayvo]

I went into a clothes shop the other day and a salesman walked up to me and
said, 'Can I help you?'

I said 'Yeah, have you got anything I like?'

He said, 'What do you mean have we anything you like?'

I said, 'You started this.'

 

[trustysteed]

If your husband is cheating, get your fat ass to the gym.

 

[Dayvo]

Not work safe! (language)


View: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2UT02--Ijdc

 

[threebikesmcginty]

Duck goes into the chemist's shop. -

'A tube of lipsol please.'
'Certainly, that will be fifty pence.'
'Put it on my bill, please.'

 

[Dayvo]

A bloke goes into a chemists and asks the pretty shop assistant for 99 condoms.

'Wow, fukk me!' she says.

'Well, better make it 100, then.'