Friday's quickies.

[betty swollocks]

My mother in law came round last evening.
After a brief struggle we managed to put her under again.

 

[threebikesmcginty]

Man parks his car in the disabled spot in a carpark and walks away.
The parking warden calls after him "Oi, what's your disability?"
Man replies "I've got tourettes, now f*ck off you c*nt!"

 

[Fnaar]

I thought that one was "women with PMT"...


On the feminist/lightbulb question, my answer is "Three". One to change the bulb, and two to discusss the passive role of the socket.

 

[Watt-O]

What do you get if cross George Formby with 50 Cent? "Turned out nice again mother f@cker" (delivered in your best Georg Formby accent).

 

[levad]

I can't get over my mother in law, I have to get up and go round.

 

[PaulB]

How many doggers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Don't be daft, they screw in cars, not lighbulbs.

 

[doodles]

Man goes into a pet shop and asks the shop assistant
"can I buy a wasp"?

Shop assistant replies "sorry sir we don't sell wasps"

Man "you've got one in the window"

 

[doodles]

I will always remember my dads last words

"f%ck me ... a bus"

 

[Crankarm]

Horse walks into a bar and orders a drink.

Barman asks "Why the long face?"

 

[Crankarm]

What do you call a fish with no eye?






















A fsh.

 

[PaulB]

Man goes into a pet shop and asks the shop assistant
"can I buy a wasp"?

Shop assistant replies "sorry sir we don't sell wasps"

Man "you've got one in the window"

I know it's ancient but that always always tickles me!

 

[Cubist]

Man goes into a pet shop and says " Do you have a manx cat?"

Bloke says "No, but I can make you one"

 

[Cubist]

What's black and white and moans?

A nun with a monk on.

 

[Pottsy]

How do you titilate an oscilot?

Oscilate it's titalot.

 

[threebikesmcginty]

Man goes into a pet shop and says " Do you have a manx cat?"

Bloke says "No, but I can make you one"