Friday's quickies.

[colly]

I will always remember my dads last words

"f%ck me ... a bus"

Tea all over my keyboard now. Thanks.

 

[PaulB]

Man goes into a pet shop and says " Do you have a manx cat?"

Bloke says "No, but I can make you one"

 

[Pottsy]

What's got 4 legs and flies?

A dead horse.

 

[Cubist]

What's got 4 legs and flies?

A dead horse.

 

[PaulB]

What do you call a sheep with no legs?

A cloud

 

[Cubist]

What do you call a sarcastic cowboy?

Tex Piss

 

[PaulB]

(since we're on regional accents)
What's the difference between Bing Crosby and Walt Disney?

Bing sings and Walt disnae.

 

[Cubist]

What do you call a chinese woman with a food mixer on her head?

Blenda

(ok, ok, coat)

 

[MePower]

Man wakes up halfway through his operation and says to the surgeon " Can i stitch it up?" The surgeon says......"suture self"

 

[ChrisKH]

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

 

[ChrisKH]

Take my wife.

No I mean it, please take my wife.

 

[ChrisKH]

If winning isn't everything why do they keep the score?

 

[PaulB]

Little boy says to his dad, "Dad, you don't have to buy me a bike for christmas now!" and the father looks disappointed and asks why not and the little lad says "I found one hidden in your wardrobe."

 

[ChrisKH]

I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.

 

[TVC]

Q: What's yellow and dangerous?

A: Shark infested custard.