Funerals... and the scrapping of.

[MontyVeda]

I shied away from attending a funeral yesterday. It wasn't a person close to me so I didn't feel like i had to attend, but am feeling slightly guilty for not attending and supporting the family... but it got me thinking... do we need funerals?

Like weddings and christenings, a funeral is (IMO) a pointless ritual. Personally, I'd rather not have one. If i was leaving a party early i'd just quietly slope off rather than get everyone's attention and announce my departure. Some may argue that the 'send off' is important for grieving friends and family, but is it? Or is it just something that keeps funeral directors in business and allows florists to profit from grief. I say scrap the funeral ritual.

*Is this a suitable cafe topic? ...or more SC&P?

 

[Globalti]

It's an important part of grieving for somebody you loved because it gives closure and helps us to deal with the heartache of loss.

 

[swee'pea99]

I tried the wheely bin for my gran. Honestly, the fuss they made...

 

[tyred]

I wanted to be an undertaker but was told it's a dying trade.

 

[MontyVeda]

It's an important part of grieving for somebody you loved because it gives closure and helps us to deal with the heartache of loss.

well that's what they say, but is it? The grieving process doesn't stop at the funeral... it goes on and on and on. I think the funeral ritual is so engrained in society that we simply 'believe' it's important.

 

[Levo-Lon]

I couldn't give a toss about my funeral as ill be dead'i hope'..

But as said its for the ones left behind,most people only see a lot of friends and relatives on theses occasions so they really can help with the closure..grieving..

my neighbour is a undertaker as it happens..

 

[tyred]

A hearse must be the most overpriced taxi journey possible.

 

[fossyant]

Even a small funeral costs a bloody fortune. There is no dying on the cheap !

 

[HarryTheDog]

My wife's Uncle died yesterday, I hardly knew the man I spoke the odd word to him at family gatherings. ( very quiet un-assuming bloke) but I am going to his funeral to support my wife and more importantly in my view so his wife and daughter see a good attendance at the funeral. If it was just them then they might think no one cared or thought about the person they have just lost and his life therefore had less meaning. Its not for the dead person its for his friends/relatives.

 

[Fnaar]

Personally I see them as anachronistic too, but I recognise they are important for some people, for the sort of closure etc mentioned above. As an atheist of many years, I go along to and with the religious aspect of those I attend, but when I die, I've made it plain to those nearest me that I'd prefer it if religion played no part whatsoever in it (and have promised to come back and haunt them if they get this wrong ). I am confident that Mrs F would adhere to this, but equally confident that my sister would not, and would cause friction over it.

What I find fascinating is the different approach that groups of relatives take towards them. I know from experience that my siblings/other rellies (nominally religious, but not especially practising) will adhere to the sombre/black-tie/crying routine. Mrs Fnaar's lot (many actually religious/practising people) will be there in colourful ties/clothes, see it as a happy occasion to celebrate the life of the dead person etc.

Miss Goodbody will simply ask the vicar where the stiff is.

 

[accountantpete]

A reasonably dear friend died last year and the Family wanted a 90 minute "thanks for her life" type Church funeral which I avoided.

The Crematorium based funerals are awful and should be abolished.

 

[goody]

You don't have to have a traditional funeral. You could arrange it yourself, buy your own coffin transport it to the crematorium in your own vehicle, or you could not have any ceremonies and just have the ashes delivered to you or scattered without ever having seen the coffin. What about having family members collect you from the mortuary wrap you in shroud and bury you in the garden? Maybe donate your body to medical science. There are other options.

 

[Dave7]

I quite like funerals.............so long as I am in the 2nd car.

 

[User482]

There has to be a witnessed burial or cremation, I think, but beyond that, how you choose to remember the person is up to you.

 

[ianrauk]

The Crematorium based funerals are awful and should be abolished.

In what way?

A very good friend of mine who died a while back had a 'great' cremation based funeral. Lot's of bright colours, great music. A celebration of his life rather then sadness of his death.