Funerals (yours)

[Slick]

Is it legal to be buried in your garden? I am glad that my garden doesn't have deep enough soil layer for a grave, I'd hate to find out there was a grave in my garden after I'd bought the house. I think that would have me getting the body reinterred somewhere else then I'd move at the first opportunity.

I'm sorry but that's the way I feel, deceased should be interred in defined locations IMHO, and tbh I'm not too keen on scattering of ashes anywhere you like neither. I think society can be too indulgent to people grieving with things like funeral requests. We don't handle death as well as we could.

That reminds me about something. Cycling in Scotland with our then not yet 3 year old we cycled past a cemetery. Our son is bright and inquisitive so asked about what a cemetery is. Now you can't really go into details with a child that age. So we told him it was where people go when they die, that kind of concerned him. Me being me then said when you die you go into the stars, but your body goes in the ground and we put a stone on your head. He liked that idea and we moved on happy again. I think that's kind of a good explanation for a young kid.

I don't know about anywhere else, but it is legal in Scotland. We checked up after we found out what my dad's wife had done. I don't remember the details but it was something like telling the council and putting it on the deeds

I befriended quite an elderly guy who used to visit the lady we bought our current house from.

He is a very private guy and owns a huge chunk of land that he is very protective of. Whilst there was no real need to ask, we were quite pleased when he told us we were free to use his land for walks or just to access the shore. We couldn't help but notice a huge rock and an empty pint glass in a well kept area at the end of a muddy track looking on to the sea. We later found out the guy lost his daughter and she is buried there. Not quite in his garden, but certainly on private land.

 

[Accy cyclist]

I don't know about anywhere else, but it is legal in Scotland. We checked up after we found out what my dad's wife had done. I don't remember the details but it was something like telling the council and putting it on the deeds

Halving the sellable value of your house in the process!

"This much sought after desirable property, close to local amenities and road/bus links needs slight structural attention. Plus, there's someone buried in the back garden".

 

[Kingfisher101]

Halving the sellable value of your house in the process!

"This much sought after desirable property, close to local amenities and road/bus links needs slight structural attention. Plus, there's someone buried in the back garden".

No, There was a property near me for sale, that has both the owners buried in the garden and it received a lot of offers. It was snapped up. There is a massive housing crisis in this country and any property that's reasonably priced and in good condition will go.
I wouldn't have fancied it but there's worse things like buying a property next to a school.

 

[Bollo]

My MIL and FIL both had a Muslim burial. The body should be buried as soon as possible, preferably within 24 hours of death. Because of the short timescales I couldn't make my MIL's funeral but was there for my FIL. Muslim funerals are generally pretty austere - prayers with the body (they're wrapped but the face is visible), then over to the graveside where an imam will say more prayers to plead for the soul of the deceased and then in the ground in a shroud rather than a coffin.

The imam for my FIL was pretty cool. I guess in east London he's seen most things in his time. He explained some of the process and mixed the English and Arabic during prayers so that the non-Muslims like me had an idea what was happening. I also helped transfer my FIL to the from the prayer room to the graveside. The cemetery runs as a charity so costs are reasonable and the whole thing was crazy-well organised. A family joke is that if the cemetery were elected to government, Pakistan would be like Switzerland.

I had to organise my dad's funeral last year, which was a much more secular, celebration-of-life type affair. My view is that funerals are really for the living so it was good to get some of his old RAF friends and extended family around for a mardle.

A lady called Caitlin Doughty is worth a listen on the subject of death and funerals. I first came across her watching Midnight Gospel on Netflix, which mixes interesting philosophical discussions with some very odd animation. Anyways, she talks a lot about the commercialisation of death in western society and the US in particular.

 

[Electric_Andy]

This reminds me of a conversation I had with my partner last year. I'll be dead so I won't care what happens to me, but it'll be my son/sister (maybe), partner (maybe) visiting my place of burial if I choose that. Do I get buried near my parents, or somewhere clsoe to home? I quite like the idea of being buried (or my ashes buried) in the city I now live in, as it would tell a story of where I've lived for most of my adult life to date.

 

[Slick]

This reminds me of a conversation I had with my partner last year. I'll be dead so I won't care what happens to me, but it'll be my son/sister (maybe), partner (maybe) visiting my place of burial if I choose that. Do I get buried near my parents, or somewhere clsoe to home? I quite like the idea of being buried (or my ashes buried) in the city I now live in, as it would tell a story of where I've lived for most of my adult life to date.

If you and your family have moved around over the years, location discussions can get quite complicated.

I reckon I would want my ashes scattered near the old ancestral pile, but Mrs Slick wants to be buried where we live now.

As you say, someone else's problem.

 

[fossyant]

They can stick me in the furnace, so long as I'm not awake ! I'll be long gone so don't care - it's not as though I can complain if I don't like it.