Funerals (yours)

[Dave 123]

At the ripe old age of 54 I’ve been to a few funerals in my time, both of my parents, my father in law, young friends, older friends, some of them perfectly fine as they were old and their body had given up (my mum) and some that were really sad (a young breast cancer victim and a school friend who died in the Hillsborough disaster).

The nicest one I attended was for a lady I worked with who in her 20’s had become a pagan. She died in her 30’s. The funeral was a breath of fresh air as I’d seen my fill of religious funerals, and I can’t say I’m a fan of them.

I’ve had the casual discussion with my wife about what I’d want when I die.

My thoughts are that I would like my body donated to science so I could be of some sort of use to the wider world.

In lieu of a funeral ceremony I would like people to meet up and Nattor on Dartmoor and walk to Ditsworthy Warren, walk up to the Drizzlecombe standing stones, across to Eylesbarrow then back down. Inappropriate behaviour would be encouraged.

To finish off, a nice meal in a good pub.

Sadly I won’t be there. It sounds good!

So what about yourself? Any particular wishes?

Have you been to a funeral that was different to the normal?

I hope this isn’t coming across as morbid. I find it quite cathartic to turn a day into something good.

(Maybe nobody would turn up!)

 

[MontyVeda]

I'd like The Grand Old Duke of York to be played, with the congregation singing along and doing the actions, but i doubt it'll happen. Other than that, no real wishes. It's not 'my' day... its theirs.

 

[Chris S]

Donating your body to medical science is a good way to avoid cremation costs as well. It was about £1000 five years ago.

 

[tom73]

Just remember they don't have to take you and a growing number of med schools no longer do any real dissections. Due it increased cost and lack of funding to update mortuaries.

 

[welsh dragon]

My brothers partner wanted her body to be donated to science. When the time came they didn't want it as the had enough already so they dispose of the body.

My mother's funeral in 2022 was horrible. Pouring down with rain and a family that all stood apart from each other due to family factions.

I don't want my family to have the stress of organising and paying a huge amount just to see a coffin put into a fire, so I want one of those funerals where they take the body, cremate it and return the ashes. No fuss, no hassle and no stress. And I hope they all get together and have a toast to me and talk about the stupid things I've done during my life.

 

[Andy in Germany]

Cremation here isn't considered internment; the ashes have to be buried. On the other hand, you live in this region you can have a funeral on lake Constance and tip the ashes over the "Swiss" side of the boat. I like that idea.

 

[Chris S]

I don't want my family to have the stress of organising and paying a huge amount just to see a coffin put into a fire, so I want one of those funerals where they take the body, cremate it and return the ashes. No fuss, no hassle and no stress. And I hope they all get together and have a toast to me and talk about the stupid things I've done during my life.

The cremation doesn't normally take place until long after the service is over. You might as well have a direct cremation and a 'remembrance service' afterwards.

 

[Drago]

Burning viking longboat, the full trimmings please. I plan on going to Valhalla in the afterlife.

 

[vickster]

The cremation doesn't normally take place until long after the service is over. You might as well have a direct cremation and a 'remembrance service' afterwards.

My father was cremated before his church memorial service in December (same day. 2 hours apart). Easier than service, wake, cremation. No rushing off although some at the service had expected the coffin to come in

 

[welsh dragon]

The cremation doesn't normally take place until long after the service is over. You might as well have a direct cremation and a 'remembrance service' afterwards.

Yes I know.

 

[Alex321]

I'd like The Grand Old Duke of York to be played, with the congregation singing along and doing the actions, but i doubt it'll happen. Other than that, no real wishes. It's not 'my' day... its theirs.

A friend of ours who died late last year had South Australia sung - a song that is sung regularly round the campfires in the Sealed Knot, where he would always join in.

 

[Kingfisher101]

My brothers partner wanted her body to be donated to science. When the time came they didn't want it as the had enough already so they dispose of the body.

My mother's funeral in 2022 was horrible. Pouring down with rain and a family that all stood apart from each other due to family factions.

I don't want my family to have the stress of organising and paying a huge amount just to see a coffin put into a fire, so I want one of those funerals where they take the body, cremate it and return the ashes. No fuss, no hassle and no stress. And I hope they all get together and have a toast to me and talk about the stupid things I've done during my life.

I know a few people who have had just the basic cremation, no service, they call it direct cremation and I think its about £1500ish. That's what I would want, and that's what David Bowie had.
I personally found it very shocking when I've gone to cremations and the curtains closed and the coffin went backwards. I also cant stand big black funerals where all the neighbours etc are watching a hearse go past. No thanks.

 

[Toshiba Boy]

Non-religious, simple service for me, with "Look for the bare necessities of life" selected as the final song, by my all time hero, Baloo the Bear from my all time favourite film, the Jungle Book (1967 Cartoon version of course).

 

[Julia9054]

I know a few people who have had just the basic cremation, no service, they call it direct cremation and I think its about £1500ish. That's what I would want, and that's what David Bowie had.
I personally found it very shocking when I've gone to cremations and the curtains closed and the coffin went backwards. I also cant stand big black funerals where all the neighbours etc are watching a hearse go past. No thanks.

My dad died in September. We had a direct cremation and then a memorial celebration at the golf club where he was a member. He "attended" in his little box!

 

[Time Waster]

I'd like The Grand Old Duke of York to be played, with the congregation singing along and doing the actions, but i doubt it'll happen. Other than that, no real wishes. It's not 'my' day... its theirs.

Heads, shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes! I think that might be amusing.

However I intend not to attend my own funeral! I prefer not to die but if I don't achieve that then I certainly don't want to lie in a coffin in a church or funeral parlour for people who know me to gawk at and see how old, little, skeletonlike or whatever I am.

I think my view of this came from seeing my gran on her deathbed. I was supporting my mum by going with her, against her wishes, but she was grateful when I insisted. Took a bit of weight off her. It haunts me still!

I think funerals are a waste of time and a money earner for some. It's not cheap and the funereal version of ambulance chasers advertise on TV and elsewhere that I find unpleasant.