Funerals... and the scrapping of.

[MontyVeda]

I'd just rather it be a case of so-and-so's died, and that's it. Some people will gather and grieve and talk about it, some won't. The closure spectacle as an event to attend is just a bit weird. The more i think about it, the stranger it seems.

 

[MontyVeda]

In what way?

A very good friend of mine who died a while back had a 'great' cremation based funeral. Lot's of bright colours, great music. A celebration of his life rather then sadness of his death.

So did one of my closest friends many moons ago. The bit where we all watched a box go through a curtain could have been skipped though. We celebrated, laughed, cried, remembered and would have done all of these things without the 'box' spectacle.

 

[jonny jeez]

In what way?

A very good friend of mine who died a while back had a 'great' cremation based funeral. Lot's of bright colours, great music. A celebration of his life rather then sadness of his death.

Its a good point, although from my own experience, When people die relatively young, funerals are vibrant celebrations of life. But I do think that most are a formality that can cost far too much for the remaining family to handle .

Perhaps the answer isn't to abolish anything but instead to open up the choices available.

 

[SavageHoutkop]

I think it's a necessary part of the grieving for friends/family; helps say goodbye.

 

[SavageHoutkop]

that can cost far too much for the remaining family to handle

This is certainly also true. Why so expensive!?

 

[Piemaster]

The Crematorium based funerals are awful and should be abolished.

Can't agree with you there, to some extent because it involves going through it twice - church and graveside. Though with a recent one as we were not close most of those attending left the graveside bit to immediate family. I wouldn't want to put mine through the burying bit. Closing the curtains is enough.
I'm not religious either so it will be a crematorium humanist service, I'm rather hoping it's a long way off.

 

[MontyVeda]

This is certainly also true. Why so expensive!?

Because it's a ritual that's so engrained that they can charge well over the odds for a box or a bunch of flowers. Is it the done thing the haggle the undertaker down a bit?

 

[MichaelW2]

Jewish funerals are very brief and simple, no black horses or My Lickle Angle flower arrangements. The standardised form means that you don't have to pick your fav Robbile Williams track. In Christian funerals there is sometime a ritual sprinkgling a handful of earth onto the coffin. In Jewish funerals, you all line up, and throw a couple of shovels of earth in. It is a community saying farewell, not just a family. The hollow sound of earth hitting a coffin, and changing to a dull thud as it hits pilled earth is a note of finality that you never forget. You know they have been buried.

 

[User482]

I've told my wife to compost me under an apple tree. Perhaps one of those old English varieties, "Old Bastard" or somesuch.

I'd prefer it if she waited a while, though.

 

[annedonnelly]

I have bought my plot & paid for the funeral stuff - well in advance I hope!
I have not paid for a service. The service is for those left behind. If they - whoever they are - want one they can go ahead and organise & pay for it. I won't be around to care.

 

[MontyVeda]

Jewish funerals are very brief and simple, no black horses or My Lickle Angle flower arrangements. The standardised form means that you don't have to pick your fav Robbile Williams track. In Christian funerals there is sometime a ritual sprinkgling a handful of earth onto the coffin. In Jewish funerals, you all line up, and throw a couple of shovels of earth in. It is a community saying farewell, not just a family. The hollow sound of earth hitting a coffin, and changing to a dull thud as it hits piled earth is a note of finality that you never forget. You know they have been buried.

This is the thing... they know you're dead from the moment they hear so-and-so's died... the whole ritual thing doesn't change this.

 

[SavageHoutkop]

Is it the done thing the haggle the undertaker down a bit?

The last thing you feel like doing is haggling at that point, especially if it was a sudden departure.

 

[SavageHoutkop]

This is the thing... they know you're dead from the moment they hear so-and-so's died... the whole ritual thing doesn't change this.

You know but you don't necessarily take it fully on board. Whole stages of grief thing.

 

[SavageHoutkop]

I have bought my plot & paid for the funeral stuff - well in advance I hope! I have not paid for a service. The service is for those left behind. If they - whoever they are - want one they can go ahead and organise & pay for it. I won't be around to care.

In my experience service is cheap, it's the coffin and actual burying/cremating bit that costs (probably also to do with the mortuary etc)

 

[MontyVeda]

The last thing you feel like doing is haggling at that point, especially if it was a sudden departure.

It's a bit like over priced coffee at the motorway services. They name an excessive price and one is compelled to swallow it.