Funerals... and the scrapping of.

[goody]

In what way?

A very good friend of mine who died a while back had a 'great' cremation based funeral. Lot's of bright colours, great music. A celebration of his life rather then sadness of his death.

I think the difference between an awful and a great funeral is knowing what the options are. Probably the most memorable funeral I went to was for a school music teacher in Vauxhall. His family decorated his cardboard coffin with messages and drawings, his children and pupils performed music in the church then his family carried the coffin to a local park about 200 yards away were a steel band played. He was then taken to the crematorium in a mercedes vito decorated with poppy's. I don't think the family attended the crematorium just said their goodbye's at the park. That was about two years ago and I've been to a lot of funerals since (i'm in the business part time) but I still remember his name.

 

[Globalti]

A pal of mine was killed mountain biking on Skiddaw when he went over the bars and fell down the mountain. His family did a cremation and then all his pals gathered and we dropped his ashes into Ullswater in a felt box. We should have weighed him down with a rock because the damned thing just floated off.

 

[annedonnelly]

Because it's a ritual that's so engrained that they can charge well over the odds for a box or a bunch of flowers. Is it the done thing the haggle the undertaker down a bit?

When we paid for my mum's my brother asked for the co-op dividend points

We should have asked for discount when the car door flew open on the way back from the crem. We had a queue of cars behind as the undertaker tried to get the door shut safely!

 

[jonny jeez]

The choices are already available though. You don't have to use an undertaker or any of those services if you don't want to, once you've complied with the basic legal requirements described earlier you can do the whole thing yourself. You could take your dead relative to the burial place in your van, decorate the cardboard coffin yourself, make up some stuff to say, have a party. There is a book somewhere written by a woman who did this for her own mother - the reactions to it were varied and interesting .

I wasn't thinking so much of the statutory Availability, more social acceptance that there are other options. I guess threads like this are part of that.

 

[Haitch]

http://www.naturaldeath.org.uk/index.php?page=diy-funerals

 

[Markymark]

Human nature for thousands of years is to celebrate a change in status. It cements the change and declares it to society.

Birth, coming of age, marriage, death.

It will always be.

 

[ianrauk]

I've told my wife to compost me under an apple tree. Perhaps one of those old English varieties, "Old Bastard" or somesuch.

I'd prefer it if she waited a while, though.

I have told Mrs Ian to fire me up in a rocket/firework...

 

[goody]

I think the traditional undertakers are becoming more aware of the need to cater for non traditional requests. Anyone seen the ad with the tractor as a hearse. Not sure whether this is because they want to offer a better service or are afraid of losing business to the new age 'alternative underaker'.

 

[Dec66]

I shied away from attending a funeral yesterday. It wasn't a person close to me so I didn't feel like i had to attend, but am feeling slightly guilty for not attending and supporting the family... but it got me thinking... do we need funerals?

Like weddings and christenings, a funeral is (IMO) a pointless ritual. Personally, I'd rather not have one. If i was leaving a party early i'd just quietly slope off rather than get everyone's attention and announce my departure. Some may argue that the 'send off' is important for grieving friends and family, but is it? Or is it just something that keeps funeral directors in business and allows florists to profit from grief. I say scrap the funeral ritual.

*Is this a suitable cafe topic? ...or more SC&P?

Yes, we do need funerals. How would I get to see my brothers and sisters otherwise?

 

[wheresthetorch]

My father's funeral was very important to me and, more importantly, to my mother.

A case of thanking God for his life, and saying prayers for his soul.

I still have a copy of the vicar's eulogy which was very moving.

I think funerals are important - perhaps emphasised by the fact that even those of no faith generally have a ceremony.

One touches so many lives over the years. Slipping away quietly from a party is one thing, but different if you were going on a journey and never coming back - people would want to say their goodbyes.

 

[MontyVeda]

The choices are already available though. You don't have to use an undertaker or any of those services if you don't want to, once you've complied with the basic legal requirements described earlier you can do the whole thing yourself. You could take your dead relative to the burial place in your van, decorate the cardboard coffin yourself, make up some stuff to say, have a party. There is a book somewhere written by a woman who did this for her own mother - the reactions to it were varied and interesting .

no matter how low-key or bespoke, it still sounds very much like a funeral though.... I'm suggesting none of the above.

It's something many of us think about... what type of casket, which songs we'd like played. I'd like Herb Alpert's Spanish Flea on my way in... and Black Lace's Agadoo on my way out, with the whole congregation doing the moves (this is essential). Failing that unlikely event, no service whatsoever sounds like a good idea to me.

 

[MontyVeda]

Human nature for thousands of years is to celebrate a change in status. It cements the change and declares it to society.

Birth, coming of age, marriage, death.

It will always be.

I don't get the whole christening thing either... and loads of couples don't bother getting married these days. I didn't have an 18th birthday party, or a 21st. They're just silly little rituals which aren't necessary... just like a funeral.

 

[MontyVeda]

[QUOTE 4162722, member: 45"]When my mom died, the crem part was just a means to an end. But then a huge bunch of people got together at the church to laugh, cry, remember and talk together about an amazing woman. It was a fantastic experience.[/QUOTE]
Exactly. The 'crem' bit is the bit I'm suggesting we just do without. People can still mourn, celebrate, gather.

 

[goody]

Exactly. The 'crem' bit is the bit I'm suggesting we just do without. People can still mourn, celebrate, gather.

That choice is there now.

 

[Fnaar]

I think the traditional undertakers are becoming more aware of the need to cater for non traditional requests. Anyone seen the ad with the tractor as a hearse. Not sure whether this is because they want to offer a better service or are afraid of losing business to the new age 'alternative underaker'.

I enjoyed reading about Mr Bialetti's (coffee pot fame) funeral:

http://indy100.independent.co.uk/ar...amous-has-just-been-buried-in-one--Z1zPBiT70x