Funny Amazon Reviews.......

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cisamcgu

Legendary Member
Location
Merseyside-ish
 

Sharky

Guru
Location
Kent
Just spotted this review on Wiggle for a conti inner tube - made me smile :-

"An ode to inner tube
Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate:
And, even more so in Norway, where summers are short and the Cippo approach to riding in the rain simply does not work.
The sheer awesomeness of Continental tubes was not in any way lessened by the fact that the postman managed to jam the package with inner tubes into the postbox so that I could not get it out. I could have sworn that wiggle sent a
spy to scout the area, since the cardboard package had exactly *zero* clearance inside my postbox and a fit tighter than shimano hollowtech II axle.
Now, where does one begin, to give justice to the pinnacle of clincher engineering? The inner tube came in a neat black-yellowish cardboard box (box itself -- 19g, the tube -- 84g). Much like with many technical products being greeted in German is a sign of quality. "Fahrradschlauch" simply sounds far more imposing than "Inner tube" and demands respect from the get go. I opened the box in anticipation and screamed like the front row on a Miley Cyrus' concert -- the valve itself was huge. Naturally, that was to be expected. After all 80mm is quite a considerable rod (tell this to your
girlfriend), but expecting and actually seeing are two completely different things. The valve was massive, shiny and, to be honest, somewhat intimidating. Had this inner tube started in the adult movie industry, it would have had an incredibly lucrative and well-paid career. Even with my
Strikes (66mm deep rim) there was plenty of valve left without any need for extensions or other paraphernalia designed to enhance size, which we so often see the offers for in our mailboxes.
The tube came with a neat yellow valve cap. Typical for Continental, I might add (they have an affinity for Easter-happy colouring scheme). Unfortunately
this brighten-your-day yellow clashed with an otherwise darth vaderian colour palette of my Trek 2100. However, the valve caps would fit perfectly with a "hello kitty" pink, or "daisies in the spring" yellow themed bike. An aero
conscious rider should be aware that the valve cap increases drag, since the already massive valve stem gains additional few millimeters of length thereby disturbing the air flow even more.
After inflation the inner tube assumed a perfectly toroidal shape. The rubber is flexible enough to handle as different pressures as 10 psi and 140 psi. This is very useful if you're using a hand-held pump with no pressure gauge! Of course, even with a pressure gauge it's reassuring to know that
there's a certain tolerance. Do not try to use the inner tube as a replacement for plastic bag during hyperventilation -- it is filled with with powder which may cause coughing or other undesired side effects.
While riding on this tube in my apartment, I really appreciated the vibration-reducing abilities of the rubber that you simply do not get with regular 3 quid tubes. You can actually feel the German engineering at work! The advertising on the box does not lie -- you can *feel* the inner tube gripping better on the tire, which results in superior handling while negotiating that oh so difficult hallway-to-kitchen 90 degree bend.
Please note that while tubular tires are glued, clincher tubes do not need to be stapled. Stapling your inner tubes to the tire or to the rim may decrease performance! There are several useful tips inside the cardbox box the tube
came in, and I really wish Continental had printed a warning for that particular situation, as they probably have done for the U.S. market.
Furthermore, when mounting the tube, make sure the valve faces inward, towards the hub, rather than outward. The latter would require non-sanctioned modifications to the tire and will result in reduced rolling performance. A sufficient warning was lacking in this case as well.
Overall I wholeheartedly recommend this product to savvy clincher tube lovers with deep rims, whereas unexperienced users may need professional assistance."
 

Drago

Legendary Member
 

postman

Legendary Member
Location
,Leeds
I have just found this,i am crying the Sigma lens is brilliant all the others still to read.Brilliant just brilliant.
 

Profpointy

Legendary Member

Profpointy

Legendary Member
I was searching for a previous funny Amazon review where someone had written something very similar about another portrait of Hitlar - but I couldn’t find it anywhere.

My review has passed vetting and is now displaying. Nice! :smile:

Did your daughter like the picture ?
 
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