Mass insanity? After ascending and descending the Izoard I was
intending to should have stopped to camp overnight at Guillestre, however at the roundabout the road to Guillestre was downhill for about a mile whist the exit toward the col de Vars was fairly flat. On the basis that I would have that extra ascent to tackle in the morning and that it was only 1pm and that my memory of the mapping said the Vars was fairly easy I decided to go on. 19km of hell, the hardest undulating false horizon/ false flat col ever. More towns called Vars along the way giving the impression you are nearly there (they are ski towns with the likes of Vars xxx and Vars station in the titles) OK so not really funny, however gasping to the summit I met up with another British Tourist, well Liverpudlian (hiya Graham
) and telling him my tale of stupidity he said he had done an identical trick, coincidence? He then went on to say that a couple of Aussies where on their way from the refuge and they where all planning on camping in Jausier. Meeting with the Aussies and chatting away, they had also decided on descending the Izoard they didn't fancy dropping into Guilllestre only to have the climb out the next morning, so that made 4 of us at the summit at the same time all having made the same
decision mistake.
Camping with a couple of teenage lasses in the caravan next door, I was all snuggled up in my bag around 9.30 and they where having a drink in their awning. We all know how sound travels at night, well one of them must have had a bad experience with her bloke and had decided she was going to partake of the furry cup. Have you ever heard a bird chatting up a bird? Was very tempted to get up and offer a few tips!
I eventually fell asleep when her
victim friend was explaining she was a catholic and wanted to try a bloke first before committing (unmarried I would have popped round and offered my services for free!) as she hadn't particularly enjoyed her first experience of Lesbo tongue but quite enjoyed the intamacy, her 'groomer' agreed it was strange and that this was also her first try but she had always loved her and would give her all the time in the world yadda yadda yadda
Last night in Luz and I was struggling to find reasonably priced trad French restaurant (why is fondue always served as a dish for 2?) and ended up in what appeared to be the best if a little small Pizza place in town. Through overhearing another patron enter the place I quickly realised it was an ex-pat paradise and run by a bloke from the North of England, though the staff where French and he was fluent French speaker, and most of the conversation in the restaurant was conducted in French. Though I am by no means fluent after 3 weeks I was getting by so was also speaking in my best French.
Shortly after I had ordered a British family where seated at the table next to me, typical stereotypical brits abroad, no manners, no respect, the teenage son and younger daughter might have had a smattering of schoolchild French but the parent where relieing on shouting. Don't get me wrong either these weren't chav package tour but appeared respectable middle class. Anyway the parents proceeded to slag everything off in their best stage whispers confident that no-one would understand them. (This was a small place and the owner was never more than 10 ' away) The drink was foreign crap, the starter was French, the waitress was slow, the pizzas base was too thin, the topping was different to pizza hut etc etc.
Continuing to talk French myself to the waitress I complimented her on the food and wine and asked for the bill. As it was my last night I was paying with a pocketful of loose change and as it happens it was the owner who came across. Passing him a fist full of coin he exclaimed in French along the lines of 'what the bloody hell am I meant to do with this lot' so in my broadest Yorkshire I said 'sorry old cock for the shrap but I'm barn home tomorrow' to get the reply in his best best drawl, 'nay problem, change'll come in handy' Needless to say the looks on the families faces was a picture as they turned from white to bright red and started mumbling between themselves! Well I found it funny!!