Getting married - bit scary : any advice!

[Arch]

£10K!

Yikes.

I suspect it might be easier for older people to economise. For example, the dress. Personally, I couldn't imagine doing the whole white meringue thing. If I wore a dress at all (and I'd be happier in jeans!), I'd go for something nice, but not necessarily 'wedding specific'.

Photos: do you need a proper photographer? These days, pretty every guest has a fairly decent camera on their phone. Ask them to share all their pics, and there will be lots of nice ones, probably all the nicer for being informal. You can always get some studio portraits done later.

Reception: will you need lots of guests? Can a local pub/community centre hire you a room, and you (and your guests) provide a buffet? I've always fancied just booking a fish and chip van....

Also, I'm guessing you're both already set up with homes and all the cutlery and toasters you need. Make your wedding list a list of stuff FOR the wedding perhaps, and each guest will know they've contributed to the day.

 

[MissTillyFlop]

£10K!

Yikes.

That's not even the full story - the average UK wedding costs £21K:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/money/2010/aug/08/wedding-day-costs-savings

My money bone hurts.

 

[mangaman]

Thanks everyone.

I fear my idea of a wedding would be a small, intimate one (cheap in other words

)

but the future Mrs Manga wants a bigger wedding - and the more I think, the more people I remember to invite.

Anyway, you're all invited

(I may have to run that past Ms MM - but then she'll never know if I post the address of the evening do on here) (she's not a member here

) and you could organise a FNRTTC to arrive for my wedding

 

[Glover Fan]

Our wedding cost £14,000. We managed to save up for it over the whole year and relatives contributed about £4000.

Ironically the most memorable aspect cost nothing. It snowed.

 

[mangaman]

Our wedding cost £14,000. We managed to save up for it over the whole year and relatives contributed about £4000.

Ironically the most memorable aspect cost nothing. It snowed.

That seems to be about the going rate GF (In fact a bit cheaper than average). It's a lot of money

 

[dan_bo]

We've just totted up what ours set us back and it came to just under 9.5K with two weeks for 4 in a villa with a car, dresses/ suits (tailor made suits), and a do for 100 when we got back. Outside contributions- 250 quid. Not bad.

 

[mangaman]

£10K!

Yikes.

I suspect it might be easier for older people to economise. For example, the dress. Personally, I couldn't imagine doing the whole white meringue thing. If I wore a dress at all (and I'd be happier in jeans!), I'd go for something nice, but not necessarily 'wedding specific'.

Photos: do you need a proper photographer? These days, pretty every guest has a fairly decent camera on their phone. Ask them to share all their pics, and there will be lots of nice ones, probably all the nicer for being informal. You can always get some studio portraits done later.

Reception: will you need lots of guests? Can a local pub/community centre hire you a room, and you (and your guests) provide a buffet? I've always fancied just booking a fish and chip van....

Also, I'm guessing you're both already set up with homes and all the cutlery and toasters you need. Make your wedding list a list of stuff FOR the wedding perhaps, and each guest will know they've contributed to the day.

Arch, you've cut to the chase as ever.

1) Kirsty would be happy to make the dress I reckon. (He hopes

)

2) We've already talked about paying someone with a half decent camera to do the photos. There is a huge advantage compared to 20 years ago - with digital cameras you can see an instant pic - in the old days, when you had to wait for the photos to be developed I think I would have only trusted a professional cameraman.

3) I don't want loads of guests - but they creep up. A village hall is a good option as Kirsty is an artiste by nature and could make somewhere rather plain look nice relatively cheaply. (Although she's pushing for a lot of guests)

4) The wedding list is the toughest. I forgot to mention it. We,ve both got stacks of stuff. The wedding present conundrum is one of our hardest. The last thing we want is kitchen stuff for example - but people need some guidance. That's probably our toughest decision.

 

[Arch]

4) The wedding list is the toughest. I forgot to mention it. We,ve both got stacks of stuff. The wedding present conundrum is one of our hardest. The last thing we want is kitchen stuff for example - but people need some guidance. That's probably our toughest decision.

There must be a way for people to give you stuff for the wedding. Even if you resort to asking for contributions to a cash fund...

Alternatively, if you don't care about having more stuff, go down the 'goat for charity' route, and get people to give to charities instead - nominate charities that mean something to yourselves.

The good thing is that a lot of the ways you can economise (like decorating a plain hall etc) are things that make your wedding unique and personal. The more you spend, the more you do it how other people think you should, rather than how you want it. I think. Having never been married myself, I may be talking rubbish!

The friend I mentioned above, with the dried rose petal confetti, that confetti included some petals from the first bunch of flowers he bought her, a lovely touch. I remarked that this showed a lot of forethought, and confidence on her part that he was the one. A colleague remarked that it might just mean he'd only got round to buying her a bunch of flowers for the first time the week before!

 

[mangaman]

There must be a way for people to give you stuff for the wedding. Even if you resort to asking for contributions to a cash fund...

Alternatively, if you don't care about having more stuff, go down the 'goat for charity' route, and get people to give to charities instead - nominate charities that mean something to yourselves.

The good thing is that a lot of the ways you can economise (like decorating a plain hall etc) are things that make your wedding unique and personal. The more you spend, the more you do it how other people think you should, rather than how you want it. I think. Having never been married myself, I may be talking rubbish!

The friend I mentioned above, with the dried rose petal confetti, that confetti included some petals from the first bunch of flowers he bought her, a lovely touch. I remarked that this showed a lot of forethought, and confidence on her part that he was the one. A colleague remarked that it might just mean he'd only got round to buying her a bunch of flowers for the first time the week before!

Thanks - all good ideas, although I'd feel uncomfortable asking people for cash.

I love you're romantic flower story - unfortunately I've never bought here any flowers, so I couldn't get away with that.

I'm sure I bought her a beer on our 1st date - but that won't work (I doubt if I can persuade her to drink a yard of Ale at the reception) I don't think that's a goer

 

[theclaud]

Congratulations, Rick.

 

[ttcycle]

Congratulations!

As others have said enjoy the day for what you both want.

Also consider looking for things that aren't advertised as wedding related - ie to give you an example the confetti if you wanted rose petals etc you can find that in craft shops and it would cost less than if it was sold as a wedding supplies shop etc.

A bit of home baking never helped(oops just re-read this I meant bit of home baking never harmed anyone!whoops!), it's always worth rallying around close friends and family to see what people can and can't do etc. You may have a whole treasure trove of friends with great skills.

I can say that a wedding photographer would be an expense- average price is £1500 and upwards. I am a photographer but thankfully don't do weddings as they're not my 'thing' - however the suggestion Arch made of going to do studio shots - this could be an expensive option too. Speaking as a photographer - if you wanted informal documentary shots and some formal shots on the day there are people that do that. Don't make the incorrect assumption that you're just paying for processing - there may be lighting, the photographers kit will not be a bog standard DSLR and what you're paying for is the photographers eye, technical skill and the fact that they will (i hope) get the shot of those moments that are key to the day.

 

[MissTillyFlop]

Arch, you've cut to the chase as ever.

1) Kirsty would be happy to make the dress I reckon. (He hopes

)

2) We've already talked about paying someone with a half decent camera to do the photos. There is a huge advantage compared to 20 years ago - with digital cameras you can see an instant pic - in the old days, when you had to wait for the photos to be developed I think I would have only trusted a professional cameraman.

3) I don't want loads of guests - but they creep up. A village hall is a good option as Kirsty is an artiste by nature and could make somewhere rather plain look nice relatively cheaply. (Although she's pushing for a lot of guests)

4) The wedding list is the toughest. I forgot to mention it. We,ve both got stacks of stuff. The wedding present conundrum is one of our hardest. The last thing we want is kitchen stuff for example - but people need some guidance. That's probably our toughest decision.

My friends got guests to pay for the honeymoon And they categorised what each gift would be - we bought them drinks in the moonlight and a spa treat.

 

[Arch]

Thanks - all good ideas, although I'd feel uncomfortable asking people for cash.

I know what you mean. Perhaps there's a market for an agent who could issue vouchers to pay for stuff, so that it's not just cash....

Anyway, I'm sure you'll come up with some ideas.

 

[biggs682]

got a tandem you can hire for leaving the reception on !!!!!

only if local tho

have a good day

 

[AnythingButVanilla]

My friends got guests to pay for the honeymoon And they categorised what each gift would be - we bought them drinks in the moonlight and a spa treat.

Trailfinders do vouchers and I'm sure many other travel agents do too, if this would be a better option than the usual John Lewis/Debenhams gift list.

When I got married in 2005, I managed to have a cathedral wedding and reception at the Hilton for 40 guests and it came in at around 4-5k. I think if I'd had to shell out the best part of 21k I'd have ended up in a padded room rocking back and forth