Going away when relatives are very ill

[simon.r]

MrsR and I are supposed to be going to Mallorca for 3 nights next week (courtesy of Ryan Air and their £5 flight offer). Her mother is coming to the end of her life and is in a care home, which is very close to where we live. She's had a number of falls in the last few days and is in considerable pain and distress.

She's been in the same position a number of times over the last couple of years and we're comfortable that the care home look after her well, but, understandably, MrsR is reluctant to leave her.

Should we go away? Would you?

 

[vickster]

I wouldn't personally, no, if it were my mum

 

[Dayvo]

In a word: go.

 

[Beebo]

I would go. My wife probably wouldn't.

 

[simon.r]

Ultimately it will be MrsR's decision and I'll support her whatever. She's with her Mum now and we'll decide tomorrow.

@vickster @Dayvo @Beebo - how do you make that decision?

 

[Dayvo]

Firstly, it's only three days.
2 - if something happens, then you can cancel nearer the date (you'll only have lost a small amount of money).
3 - there are always going to be ifs and buts: no-one knows how things pan out: she might live another x amount of years.

 

[Katherine]

A very hard decision either way. You want to be around if needed but you also need to charge your own cells as it were so you can be better able to do the caring . My best wishes to you whatever you decide.

 

[ufkacbln]

There is no right answer, you can only do what you feel is right.

You mention events over the last few years - if she is stable and the chances of anything happening are the same as last week, next week, next month then it is not unreasonable for you to go. You cannot spend the next few years without a break

But forgive me for sounding negative, you also mention an "end of life" scenario - if there was an imminent crisis and you were away when they passed then it is always going to be a matter of regret that you were away

Speak to the staff and doctors, make an informed decision with that information

 

[TVC]

If you and your wife will be worrying all the time you are away then there is no point going as you won't enjoy it anyway. I would forget the holiday this time

 

[vickster]

[QUOTE 4773893, member: 45"]Can you not claim on your travel insurance and re-book another time?[/QUOTE]
For a fiver?

 

[simon.r]

[QUOTE 4773893, member: 45"]Can you not claim on your travel insurance and re-book another time?[/QUOTE]

To be honest the small amount of money we'd lose isn't an issue.

 

[Mrs M]

Aw, sorry to hear.
Tough decision for you both
xx

 

[thecube]

It's a tough one. Where abouts in Mallorca is it? At that price it's not going to cost much to cancel.

 

[simon.r]

It's a tough one. Where abouts in Mallorca is it? At that price it's not going to cost much to cancel.

Accommodation booked in Palma - doing it as a "city break". It'd be easy (but probably expensive) to get back relatively quickly.

 

[thecube]

Yes, Palma is 10 mins from the airport. The flights are pretty quick too, but it's more about availability. It probably takes me more time to travel to the Isle of Wight to see family than for us to holiday in Palmanova!