Going to see colleges with your kids...

[robjh]

When I was looking to go to university my parents didn't even think of offering to come with me on open days. I don't think I was unusual. Surely if you're mature enough to be applying for a degree you're mature enough to visit on your own and make your own mistakes?

I would have been quite mortified had my parents tried to accompany me to a university visit - as you say, some years ago parents simply didn't go along, and at 18 appearing to be independent (I stress the appearing) was very important to me. But that was nearly 40 years ago, and times, customs and people's expectations have clearly changed.

 

[FishFright]

I would have been mortified if my parents had wanted to join me in picking out a University. I used it as a great way for a friend and I to travel the country attending a series of parties in a knackered VW Beetle. I did in the end pick a University, but that was based on the social life as much as the educational aspect. However, saying that - this is 25 years ago and things have somewhat changed including my maturity.

Do you now do much the same but in a much nicer Volkswagen ?

 

[Milkfloat]

Do you now do much the same but in a much nicer Volkswagen ?

Drink driving is frowned upon nowadays for some reason, so it is the, not so humble bike for me now when on the sauce.

 

[marzjennings]

which universities in Boston?

Berklee College of Music, music is her thing right now and she liked the town and the campus. But who knows, she’s a couple years away from making a choice.

 

[keithmac]

Biggest mistake I made was not going to university (due to family issues).

My 6th Form tutor said to me "years from now you'll be the man down the street that everyone will come to to solve their problems". How right he was!.

I can't wait 'till it's time for my son and daughter to choose their Universities, won't force them into it but will support them all the way if they decide to go.

You should all be proud .

 

[screenman]

I went with my middle son on a college walk, we decided halfway through to do a runner. He ended up with his mortgage paid off at 24 and now runs a successful plumbing business in the South of France, the other two made their own choices.

 

[fossyant]

Parents are usually just the 'drivers' and have a mooch round. Very common at our Uni. We are a Manchester one, so they come for the night life and the teaching (Man Met - the Teaching isn't as good at Univ of Manchester)

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Seems fair enough as your kids will come along to the care home viewings,

 

[Julia9054]

Younger son went to see 3 universities with the intention of studying physics. I went with him to Sheffield as the day happened to fall on my day off, his dad went with him to Queen Mary's in London and they made a weekend of it and he went up to see Edinburgh on his own.
As it turned out, he changed his mind on results day, arranged himself late auditions for the Royal Northern College of Music in Manchester and University of Salford. We acted as drivers and as a sounding board to help him weigh up the two. He is now in his second year at RNCM.
Eldest did the rounds of conservatoire auditions. We made sure there was someone to drive him so he only had to concentrate on the job in hand.

 

[ColinJ]

When I was looking to go to university my parents didn't even think of offering to come with me on open days. I don't think I was unusual. Surely if you're mature enough to be applying for a degree you're mature enough to visit on your own and make your own mistakes?

Times have moved on since the roaring twenties.

Times certainly HAVE changed!

The 11 plus exam was still around when I was, er, 11. It was time to decide which schools to apply for. My parents were not involved at all. I don't think we even discussed it. I chose the list of schools, passed the 11 plus, and got my first choice.

Years later, it was time to go to university. My parents didn't discuss that with me either. I chose the subject. I chose the universities. I transported myself to the interviews. I found the accommodation and paid the deposit and advance rent. I paid a mate to drive my stuff up in a van. And I paid my own way for a year until my grant kicked in. (I had blown my first year grant on my first degree attempt which flopped after one year.)

I eventually graduated, got a job, rented a house for a couple of years, and then decided to buy a home of my own. I just had to save up a 5% deposit first. At that point, my folks told me that they needed to have a quiet word ...

Mortified parents: "We have just found out that parents are supposed to give financial support to their children when they go to university!"

Me: "Supposed to?"

Parents: "It's the done thing!"

Me: "Some parents do, yes ..."

Parents: "Well we didn't know that, and we feel really bad about it."

I told them that it wasn't a problem because I had managed to save enough money to do it.

But they wouldn't let it drop ... And then they gave me a cheque to cover the deposit on the house!

These days everybody seems to take a much more active role in their children's lives. I don't think that is a bad thing as long as the kids still have to show a bit of initiative from time to time and are not totally dependent on their folks.

 

[Nigeyy]

That is a great school. Boston is a pretty nice city, but is expensive. Hope things work out!

Berklee College of Music, music is her thing right now and she liked the town and the campus. But who knows, she’s a couple years away from making a choice.

 

[Nigeyy]

Phew! Back at home. Three college tours, two drive-bys, 4 states and 650 miles later.....

 

[Nigeyy]

I almost didn't make it to college. In retrospect I certainly didn't have the best advice from school (actually, bloody useless, de-motivating, pigeon-holing, not giving value to education and highly inaccurate), and then my father fell severely ill. I ended up having to work instead of going to college, and about a year later after things had calmed down a bit did get in. I was the very first in my family to get a degree, and so far, the only one I know of to get a post grad degree.

While I certainly don't think getting a college degree is a necessity, I've tried to drill it into my kids that you have a better probability to be able to choose a job you like and that it usually pays more. But ultimately I just want my kids to be happy, healthy, productive and make their living legally and not harming others and hopefully doing good. I'd feel pretty successful if that happens for my kids.

Yes, I'll do my best to support my kids and provide them a hopefully better insight into graduate education than I received. And good for you, you should be proud that you want to support your son and daughter!

Biggest mistake I made was not going to university (due to family issues).
My 6th Form tutor said to me "years from now you'll be the man down the street that everyone will come to to solve their problems". How right he was!.
I can't wait 'till it's time for my son and daughter to choose their Universities, won't force them into it but will support them all the way if they decide to go.
You should all be proud .

 

[Nigeyy]

I think you are selling yourself short there.....

[QUOTE 5219122, member: 43827"]I'm afraid I just acted as taxi-driver to my two kids on their visits to universities. Took them there, left them for whatever time they needed and picked them up afterwards.
They had to spend three years there, not me, and their priorities might not have been mine.

They both surprised me with their choices but were both happy with those choices so so was I.[/QUOTE]

 

[Globalti]

Parents are usually just the 'drivers' and have a mooch round. Very common at our Uni. We are a Manchester one, so they come for the night life and the teaching (Man Met - the Teaching isn't as good at Univ of Manchester)

Glad you think so... GtiJunior aka SamR of this parish is at MMet and is absolutely loving it, finding the course excellent and loving being independent in the city. Yes, Manchester has a lot of building sites but that's positive. Have you visited any slowly dying town like Cork or Hawick where there's no money, no investment and only mouldy old buildings?