Grossest thing you've encountered

[Dayvo]

I wouldn't say it was the grossest thing I'd seen, but it was pretty funny although in an unpleasant (sick) way!

I spent the winter in Spain three years ago, and whilst out for a drive in my RED VW van, saw a cat get run over just in front of me. The wheel went right across its back, flattening it, except for the shoulders and head, which were intact, and it looked to be normal, i.e. alive.
Shortly after I returned and by that stage, only the head hadn't been flattened: it looked like a miniature 'tiger rug' that you see in front of fire places in old films!
Then, the next day, out of curiousity, I had to peep, and this time the head was completely flattened, apart from two ears sticking up!

Sorry!

 

[Arch]

I'm sitting in a room full of dead animals, but luckily they are all in skeleton form. Not sure about gross - roadkill doesn't really gross me out and I can't think of anything else I've seen...

My friend the ex-vet has a few stories, mainly involving cows with bloat...

 

[Dayvo]

apart from two ears sticking up! Sorry!

Should have added this:

 

[LordoftheTeapot]

Around 1981 I was working as a fork-lift-truck operator at WHS Distrabution in Leicester. Unloading lorries. One of the regular drivers was late for his booked time, but eventually he turned up.

I started to unload the artic and noticed a funny glittering, gooey mess on the back bar type thing that stops cars from going under the back of lorries.

I lent over and scooped some up in my fingers and asked the driver what on earth is this stuff?

He told me that during the night the artic had been parked up in a lay-bye and a drunk driver had swerved to the left and crashed into the back. What I had scooped up was the glass from the front screen mixed with the brains of the drivers passenger!

I calmly lent back over to the mess and replaced the gooey mess on my fingers from where I got it and carried on unloading the lorry with a comment to the driver that he should wash it off.

Forward a couple of yeras...

I was drinking in a pub, chating to some of the regulars when this bloke asked me about a problem he was having keeping balance on a tricycle. As I chated to him I found out that he was the drunk driver that had ran into the back of the artic approximately two years ago. The dead passenger was his best mate.

 

[ChrisKH]

Don't look if you're squemish. The pictures I referred to were the aftermath of a young man who went to the pub, got blind drunk, got picked up by a local gay who took him back to his place. Cue a night of unbridled lust and various goings on. In the early hours of the morning the young guy, who wasn't as straight as he thought he was was so disgusted with his behaviour he stabbed the other guy 67 times (or some unfathomable number) and then tried to lever his eyeballs out with a fork. One fork was still in situ.

Would have been far easier if he had just come out surely?

 

[Cycling Naturalist]

Saw a bloke in a car getting a blow job. This was in broad daylight. Sensibly, he was not driving at the time.

But, she was!

 

[Maz]

But, she was!

...and I now realise who the bloke in the car was!

 

[Joe24]

Theres 2 for me. One was a rabbit that had been run over, it looked like it had pooed out its inside. There was a squirrel that was the same.
And a rabbit that had been killed, and left, all the flesh and stuff had either been eaten or rotted away. Absolutly stank, and looked horrible.

 

[Dayvo]

Theres 2 for me. One was a rabbit that had been run over, it looked like it had pooed out its inside. There was a squirrel that was the same.
And a rabbit that had been killed, and left, all the flesh and stuff had either been eaten or rotted away. Absolutly stank, and looked horrible.

That's three things!

 

[gambatte]

I spotted Michael Barrymore in Meadowhall

 

[yenrod]

Rings a bell that.

I used to work in solicitors once, well I've worked in a few actually, anyway - got asked to destroy a file once..i asked the TOTALLY fit admin girl what was it about - a murder scene came the reply, mmmmmmmmm..interested !

So Off me goes thinking lets just see...

BUT CHICKENED out ! ! ! = Good desicion !

I came across some murder scene photos when I was archiving a file once. Absolutely horrendous. And mentally the pictures just don't leave you.

You didn't say it had to be cycle related.

 

[andygates]

The farmers' carcass wagon really hums in summer. Catch a day with a tailwind and you can ride for half a mile in a stench that would gag a maggot.

The weirdest grossout was the deer which had exploded so all of its guts were in a neat pile a little distance from its body. Guts, for the record, are squiggly when you ride over 'em...

 

[HLaB]

I've came across plenty of road kill over the years but I think a dead badger was the grossest; never saw a live badger in the wild. Bin lorries are gross too.

 

[Johnny Thin]

I was once cycling along the Grand Union canal between Solihull into Brum when I cr@pped myself - there ahead of me was the biggest dog I'd ever seen, like a bulldog, just sitting there watching me.

But as I got closer I realised it was dead, it had probably been poisoned and thrown off the bridge by its gruesome owner.

 

[Johnny Thin]

I remember having sex after I'd been to a second post mortem (they're a bit pongier than the first) and if I closed my eyes all I could picture was the body being chopped up. The smell was made worse by a canal rotter in the next cubicle.

Did it help you to last a bit longer than the 30 seconds you cited before?