One day on Blackheath, in sheeting rain, I was cycling with a courier bag full of washing to the laundrette. With a bulky rain jacket on I could be doing no more than 8mph. A sports cyclist overtook me on a skinny carbon fibre racing jobby, wearing only clip ons, shorts and a short sleeve racing jersey, keys and wallet visible in the back pocket, he shoots past me grumbling that I was in his way.
I just ignored this and plodded on, eyes on the road and rain dripping off my nose.
Just in time I looked up thru the rain to see the same cyclist stood in the gutter bent over his bike. A grab too hard and I bounced past him yelling 'W*NK*R!' and doing a double front wheel bunny hop into the road spilling my and my dirty laundry into the road. This stops the traffic and with the rain still p*ss*ng down I picked myself and my clothes up out of the traffic. I notice that the other cyclist is still absorbed with his chainset and hasn't appeared to notice my spill.
'You alright Mate?' I asked,
'**** Off!' he replies without even turning round and I see a pedal arm swinging loose on his crank. I pick up my bike and the front wheel was a write off, I couldn't even wheel the bike along it was soo twisted.
Hoiking the bike onto my shoulder for the long walk home, I shouted over my shoulder to the sport cyclist,
'Thanks Mate! Cheers for that! Well Done! etc.' and stomped off in high dudgeon.
I must have been a good 20 yards away before the other cyclist screams out to me,
'YOU C*NT, YOU TOTAL C*NT!'
I turn round to see what he wants. I can only assume it must have been the work of a brake cable with no furrel, but somehow I had ripped this guys cycleshorts from the waistband to the crutch!
I had to drop the bike and stand there, at a safe distance of course, and wet myself laughing.
Poor guy, standing in the tipping rain, bike useless, wearing only a jersey and his tackle hanging out for all to see!
I of course hope he got home safely and with as little embaressment as possible and now looks back on the experience in good humour!
T x