Had to yell at a cyclist this morning

Pete

Guest
...well, a POB really, to use the more accepted term here, we being a dignified lot :tongue:. Only had to weave across from the right hand pavement to the left hand pavement, didn't he? Blithely oblivious to yours truly (cycling) bearing down upon him on the road. I swear, all I shouted was "WATCH OUT!". The "F----- this" and "Bl----- W----" that came from him.

(*despairs*) :tongue:
 

Arch

Married to Night Train
Location
Salford, UK
Pete said:
...well, a POB really, to use the more accepted term here, we being a dignified lot :tongue:. Only had to weave across from the right hand pavement to the left hand pavement, didn't he? Blithely oblivious to yours truly (cycling) bearing down upon him on the road. I swear, all I shouted was "WATCH OUT!". The "F----- this" and "Bl----- W----" that came from him.

(*despairs*) ;)
There, there. Have a cup of tea....

It's interesting, isn't it, how some people who are in the wrong quickly (instantly) turn to abuse. Is it an attempt to mitigate the embarrassment of realising they've been a twat? Or are they simply objecting to someone having the nerve to point it out? I mean with some, you get the impression that F*** off, is their standard responce to anyone about anything, but with some people it seems more uncharacteristic...
 

BentMikey

Rider of Seolferwulf
Location
South London
I reckon it's more along the lines of "You don't tell me off, who do you think you are??", except with added ignorance.

I reckon that would have been the perfect excuse to use the airzound. Not right, but funny.
 
OP
P

Pete

Guest
BentMikey said:
I reckon that would have been the perfect excuse to use the airzound. Not right, but funny.
Seeing as I had to swerve and brake, it would have been perfectly 'right' in the circumstances, I reckon. But I don't carry such a thing, nor even a bell. All I'm blessed with is vox humana...
 

Elmer Fudd

Miserable Old Bar Steward
I remember a few years back I was crossing a staggered crossroads, traffic free, cyclist in the distance, I turned left, moved to centre to turn right. "Whoa!" the cyclist shouts as he was trying to over take me.
"Sorry mate !" shouts I and I get a little wave of acknowledgement.

That little lesson taught me that although he was way off in the distance, those lycra clad fellas on "proper" bikes can't half get a shift on.

Thing is after that little incident we always acknowledged each other if we passed
 
Arrived home last night after a three-hour delayed flight from Oslo (so not in a good mood). Crossing the road on a clear (i.e. no traffic) but gloomy and wet evening, nearly got run down by a cyclist a prick on a bike dressed in dark clothes and without lights.
I only saw him from a few yards distance, and only managed to shout 'Get some bloody lights' (but in Swedish :o); his reply was the customary 'fukk off' but in Swedish.
Made my bloody blood boil! :tongue: JÄVLA SKITSTÖVEL
 
Elmer Fudd said:
Is that Swedish for go away and multiply ? If it is, can you spell it phonetically, could be a useful phrase to confuse folk !
Only too happy to oblige, Elmer! :tongue:

Yaervla hwheat sturvel = (more or less) fu*king ar$ehole (jerk is too mild)

Dra till hellvetta = (more or less :tongue:) go away and multiply

I'll test you if we have this Cycle Chat get-together! :ohmy:

And I just found this! Listen carefully to her at the end!

 

Johnny Thin

New Member
Dayvo said:
Yaervla hwheat sturvel = (more or less) fu*king ar$ehole (jerk is too mild)

Dra till hellvetta = (more or less ;)) go away and multiply

I
They still talk like that in parts of the UK, too. :tongue:
 

Carwash

Señor Member
Location
Visby
Sorry to here that Dayvo, glad he didn't hit you!

Dayvo said:
I only saw him from a few yards distance, and only managed to shout 'Get some bloody lights' (but in Swedish ;))
I must shamefully confess that not I'm really sure how I'd do that - it doesn't translate very well. 'Köp ljus, för fan!'? Anything with '...jävla ljus...' (bloody lights) would sound like you were complaining about his (non-existant) lights.

So tell us Dayvo, the suspense is killing me - what did you actually say? :tongue:
 

Carwash

Señor Member
Location
Visby
Dayvo said:
Carwash!
What! Don't you believe me? :tongue: ;)
I absolutely believe you - but I was tired, and trying to decide what I might have said in your situation.

As always, the probability that I'd think of a much wittier reply spiked suddenly to 1 after I hit 'Submit'. Better late than never:

"Hello, hej allihopa everybody, and välkomna till Svenska för Nybörjare. :smile:
Idag skall vi lära oss tre nya ord och uttryck, 'expressions'..."

[skaffa sookel-yuce fur faan]
'May I recommend that you acquire some illumination for your velocipede, post-haste?

[say opp dean yairflah ee-dee-ort]
'Have a care, sir!'

[dean yairflah hweet-stir-vell]
'You are a bounder of the highest order.'
 

tdr1nka

Taking the biscuit
One day on Blackheath, in sheeting rain, I was cycling with a courier bag full of washing to the laundrette. With a bulky rain jacket on I could be doing no more than 8mph. A sports cyclist overtook me on a skinny carbon fibre racing jobby, wearing only clip ons, shorts and a short sleeve racing jersey, keys and wallet visible in the back pocket, he shoots past me grumbling that I was in his way.

I just ignored this and plodded on, eyes on the road and rain dripping off my nose.
Just in time I looked up thru the rain to see the same cyclist stood in the gutter bent over his bike. A grab too hard and I bounced past him yelling 'W*NK*R!' and doing a double front wheel bunny hop into the road spilling my and my dirty laundry into the road. This stops the traffic and with the rain still p*ss*ng down I picked myself and my clothes up out of the traffic. I notice that the other cyclist is still absorbed with his chainset and hasn't appeared to notice my spill.

'You alright Mate?' I asked,
'**** Off!' he replies without even turning round and I see a pedal arm swinging loose on his crank. I pick up my bike and the front wheel was a write off, I couldn't even wheel the bike along it was soo twisted.

Hoiking the bike onto my shoulder for the long walk home, I shouted over my shoulder to the sport cyclist,
'Thanks Mate! Cheers for that! Well Done! etc.' and stomped off in high dudgeon.

I must have been a good 20 yards away before the other cyclist screams out to me,
'YOU C*NT, YOU TOTAL C*NT!'

I turn round to see what he wants. I can only assume it must have been the work of a brake cable with no furrel, but somehow I had ripped this guys cycleshorts from the waistband to the crutch!

I had to drop the bike and stand there, at a safe distance of course, and wet myself laughing.
Poor guy, standing in the tipping rain, bike useless, wearing only a jersey and his tackle hanging out for all to see!

I of course hope he got home safely and with as little embaressment as possible and now looks back on the experience in good humour!

T x
 
OP
P

Pete

Guest
tdr1nka said:
One day on Blackheath, ... etc.
Jacomus-rides-Gen said:
So you crashed because you weren't looking where you were going, and blamed the other guy for it?
I was about to say that! Sorry, tdr, hilarious tale as you've told it, but more of the blame on your good self. It would have been a nice gesture to offer to pay for the shorts, and perhaps offer some temporary 'cover' out of your well-packed laundry bag? ;):tongue::biggrin:

But for the roadie to gripe about another cyclist (i.e. you) being 'in his way' was also inexcusable. What a sad sad world we live in! Reminds me a bit of the squad of roadies coming up behind me in peloton on a narrow lane, "good-morning"ing me loudly and emphatically and leaving no doubt whatsoever as to their inner meaning. Their inner meaning being "we don't single up mate so MOVE OVER!". :blush::biggrin::smile:
 
Top Bottom